R - Romance - #AtoZChallenge

Logan removed his suit jacket. He was burning up. He started to loosen his tie, but changed his mind. There was no point in getting getting dressed up to look nice, if he wore his clothes sloppily. Plus, he knew it was just nerves. He took a long sip of cold water to try to calm and cool himself.

Amy had called to let him know she would be late and the waitress kept coming by to see if he wanted to order anything. It was a busy night and they seemed to want to clear the table if no food was being ordered.

"She'll be here soon," he insisted to the waitress. "I'll have a Stella Artois while I wait."

Logan figured ordering something other than water would satisfy the wait staff for a while. He had wanted to avoid alcohol tonight to keep his wits together. Tonight had to go perfectly. He reached to pat his jacket pocket to double-check the ring was still there. He had a moment of panic before he remembered he had removed his jacket, but that pat did show him that he was sweating through his shirt. He put the jacket back on to hide his nervous sweat stains.

He and Amy had been talking about marriage and their future for the last year. He had no doubt she would say yes, but making it official was a big step. Tonight was a big night. He hoped she would arrive before he melted into the floor. Where was she?

---

 

All this month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. A new post will go up every day (except Sundays) using a letter of the alphabet as the starting off point. My theme for the month is literary genres. I am writing in a different genre of flash fiction each day. Today's letter is A for Adventure.

P - Paranormal - #AtoZChallenge

Crystal nervously got out of her boyfriend's car. She couldn't take her eyes off his house and the fear was growing as she pictured herself going inside.

"Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?" Brian asked.

It must have been showing how scared she was, but she also felt silly. She chose not to tell him what was going on inside her head. Plus, she knew this was an important night. She couldn't blow it because of her paranoia.

Brian slid his arm around her waist. "It's going to be okay. They'll love you. Especially Mom."

He bounced up the stairs and opened the door for her. He reached for Crystal's hand and gave her a warm smile. She felt a bit embarrassed and took his hand. He led her into the living room and she froze as soon as she stepped inside.

She was panicked as her eyes darted around the room. The brown-green shag carpet, the painting of the dead tree hanging on the wall, the old green recliner, the console TV, and the bookshelf filled with plants. It was all the same. This couldn't be happening.

Her eyes snapped to the other end of the living room as Brian's smiling mother appeared with her arms spread wide. "Oh, good. You're here. It is so nice to finally meet you." She came in close for a hug, but Crystal jumped back, her eyes wide with fear.

"No. No. No. No. This can't be happening. This can't be real," she said quietly as she dropped her head and closed her eyes tight. Brian and his mother looked from each other to Crystal and back again.

"What's wrong, dear?" asked his mother.

Crystal tried to stifle tears as she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I have to go." She turned and ran out of the house down the street.

Brian's mother looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders before he ran out after her. She had gotten a block away before he caught up to her.

When he caught her, she was trembling and pulled away every time he tried to touch her.

"Hey. Talk to me What is going on?"

Between sobs, she struggled to get out the words, "I want to go home."

Brian had never seen her like this, but didn't question it. "Okay. Let's go back to the car. I'll take you right now." He reached for her hand.

She screamed, "No! Go get the car and come get me."

"Okay. Okay. Stay right here. Don't move. You're scaring me." He ran back to the house and shouted an apology to his mother before hopping in the car to pick her up.

Crystal didn't speak all the way home. He got her to the door and had to defend himself to Crystal's father that he hadn't done anything to her and didn't know what was wrong. He drove home very confused. 

After trying to convince his parents that he hadn't been dating a crazy person, he called Crystal's house. Her mother answered and said she was fine, but he could not speak to her yet. The following Monday, Crystal was not at school. Brian continued to try to connect with her over the next few days, but he was always thwarted by her parents. She didn't come back to school all week.

On Friday night, Crystal's father came to Brian's house to explain to the family what had happened. He told them that Crystal had just been admitted to the hospital for a possible nervous breakdown. It had been caused by coming to their house. Her father explained that when Crystal was about 6 years old, she had started having night terrors. It involved terrible nightmares where horrendous things happened to her. Sometimes she was tortured, her family was murdered in front her, and often there were hideous monsters. She had these nightmares for over four years. They were so bad, she had to see a psychiatrist and be admitted for a period of time to get therapy. It had taken some time, but the nightmares came to an end.

It had now been over six years since the last time she had one of those dreams. They were just an unpleasant part of her past. She was fully recovered and seemed to not have any lingering psychological effects from it. 

"That doesn't explain what happened last week," said Brian.

Crystal's dad sighed. "I know this will sound strange, but it explains everything. While a variety of things happened to her in those dreams, they all happened in the same location. When you pulled in the driveway last week, one look at your house scared her because she thought it was the house from her dreams. She told me that she knew it couldn't be true, so she came in. And then seeing this room pushed her over the edge. The swears that this house is the setting for those nightmares."

Brian's mom spoke up, "Oh, the poor thing," and squeezed her husband's hand.

Brian asked, "When can I see her?"

Crystal's dad shook his head. "You're not going to. Sorry. She is having the nightmares again and they are worse than they ever were before. Even if we get them back under control, you are now a possible trigger to bring them back. Right now, even the mention of your name starts a cycle that ends in hysterics. My wife is accepting a job transfer and we are moving to get Crystal out of this town. We're sorry."

---

I don't know if this story is really Paranormal, but it was the story I had to write. While this story is fiction, it is based upon something that actually happened at our house. The girl who came to our house lasted lass than a minute before she was back outside trying to catch her breath. She told us her story about our house and demanded to leave immediately. She never came back.

 

 

All this month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. A new post will go up every day (except Sundays) using a letter of the alphabet as the starting off point. My theme for the month is literary genres. I am writing in a different genre of flash fiction each day. Today's letter is P for Paranormal.

F - Fairy Tale - #AtoZChallenge

 
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a handsome prince. The prince would spend his days riding his horse through the forest and enjoying the beauty of nature. He would go swimming in the lake and meet up with his friends in town to laugh and sing. He had a good life. He had an easy life. He was a very happy prince.

Except for one thing.

His father, the king, was growing older. The king kept reminding the prince that he needed to be married soon and start a family. If the prince did not marry, there would be no one to take his place if something happened to him. There always had to be another son to take the place of the father. Having no king, even for a short time, meant chaos for the kingdom.

The prince never looked his father in the eyes during these talks. "I understand, father."

"I don't think you do. It's not just what would happen IF something would happen to you. It is what WOULD happen. If you are king and don't have a prince son to be the next king, you would be in danger of someone getting rid of you to try to take your place. This is why the next in line must already exist. The good of the kingdom depends on it."

Despite the prince's promises to find a wife, the king began to search for the right woman to one day be queen. He reached out to surrounding kingdoms to inquire about their princesses. He sent word to the lords of his realm to ask about their daughters. Many were interested. Every week, a new announcement was made of an arriving caravan carrying a high-born father who was hopeful about the chance for his daughter to be the future queen and secure an alliance with their families. There were many women who wanted this honor as well. The palace was swamped with requests from surrounding realms to be invited to meet the prince.

The prince always attended these ceremonies and met with every princess and high-born daughter that had traveled to meet him. Some he did not like right away. Others he gave a chance, but a walk through the garden with them helped him realize he didn't want to spend years married to them. He tried to be fair, for his father's sake, but he just wasn't meeting a woman he liked. As the months went by, the king grew more and more impatient. All this pressure made the prince less happy every day.

One morning he saddled his horse early and rode off into the forest to enjoy a quiet day away from the disappointed eyes of his father. Deep in the forest, he got off his horse near a quiet creek to eat his lunch under a tree and listen to the birds singing. Enjoying the sights and sounds of the forest, he soon forgot his troubles and drifted off to sleep.

Soon, he was awakened by someone gently shaking his shoulder.

"Sir, sir, are you alright?"

He opened his eyes and saw a lovely woman standing over him. The prince was smitten immediately. "Who are you?" he asked with wonder.

"My name is Samra. I live just over the hill there. I came to get water today and when I saw you there so still I thought you were were hurt."

The prince was even more in awe at the sound of her voice. He stood up quickly to introduce himself, but his sudden movement startled Samra and she jumped back.

The prince realized he frightened her and started to apologize, but he got a head rush from standing too quickly and started to swoon. Samra immediately stepped forward to steady him. As soon as he felt her touch on his arm, he knew he was in love.

Not wanting to scare her off, the prince decided to play it cool and come back prepared to court her. "It was lovely to meet you and thank you for your kindness. I hope I see you again."

"If you ever come back this way, you probably will. I don't venture far from my home." She flashed him a beautiful smile as he whistled for his horse. He was soon speeding back to the palace to tell his father he had met the woman he was going to marry.

The king was not excited that he had chosen a commoner to be his bride, but training a commoner on how to be royalty was better than having no one as queen. He gave his approval.

The next day, the prince dressed in his finest silks and selected the strongest stallion from the stables. He wanted to display his wealth and influence to impress her. He armored forty aides to accompany him to Samra's house to declare his love to her.

Upon arriving at Samra's house, the aides and assistants lined up in two formations in her front yard. The prince, with his back straight and head held high, rode between the two perfectly-lined groups and called out her name. No one answered.

He called again.

Silence.

He dismounted and approached the front door of the modest cottage. He knocked and heard a feeble voice. "Coming."

After a few minutes, the door slowly creaked open and a frail old man stood in the doorway. "Oh, there are so many of you. What can I do for you gentlemen? Would you all like some tea? Let's see, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."

"I am here seeking Samra. Do I have the correct house?"

"Samra is my granddaughter. She's at the market right now. I hope she is getting more tea. Come to think of it, I don't think I even have more than four or five teacups. Oh, dear. Where are my manners? Come in. Come in. Oh, no. That won't do at all. I have only two chairs. Stay where you are. I'll be right back."

He turned around to head back into the house. "I'll start the kettle going. You're going to have to share cups."

Exasperated, the prince turned around and saw Samra giving apple slices to his horse.

"Hello, again," she said. "I see you've met my grandfather."

"I did. He is very hospitable." 

"Yes, he is. How can we help you?"

"I wanted to thank you for your concern yesterday and be honest with you."

Samra raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Did you lie to me yesterday? You really didn't say much at all."

The prince continued, "I am the prince of this land. You were helping the future king."

Samra nodded and gave the horse another slice of apple, "Yes. I saw the royal insignia on your sleeve. It wasn't as big and shiny as the one on your chest today, but I recognized it. No need to thank me. I was just asking if you were alright. I did nothing."

"But, Samra, you did everything. You are the loveliest creature I have ever laid eyes on and I have come to ask for your hand and make you my queen."

Samra smiled, "No. Thank you." She turned and headed toward the house.

The prince had never considered that his offer might be rejected. "Wait!"

Samra, almost to the door, looked over her shoulder. "Did you need something else?"

The baffled prince answered, "You don't want to be queen?"

"I don't know. I never thought about it. But I do know I don't want to marry a man I just met yesterday." She stepped inside her house and shut the door.

The prince rode slowly back to the palace with his head hung low. He hadn't experienced much rejection in his life and wasn't handling it well.

When the king heard the news, he couldn't help but laugh at his son. "This girl did not say she would not marry you. She said that she could not marry a man she didn't know. It was an invitation to court her. Go let her get to know you. Show her you are worthy of her hand. Then, she will say yes."

The prince realized his father was right. He would win her. Starting the next morning, the prince spent his days in the forest near her house hoping to run into her. Most days, he was able to see her and talk to her. They took walks through the trees and he occasionally accompanied her to the market. He would even carry her things for her.

One day, after spending several weeks together, she gave him a kiss on the cheek as he was about to depart. "Ah," he exclaimed. "You are beginning to like me."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Whatever do you mean? I have always liked you."

"You rejected my proposal of marriage."

Samra laughed. "Liking someone you just met and wanting to get married are hardly the same feeling. You seem like a sweet guy. That's enough for now."

The prince didn't like it, but he understood. "So, maybe we could get married someday?"

Samra sighed, "I love my life here. It is so peaceful and quiet. Keeping court behind tall walls sounds boring and stuffy. The clothes look so uncomfortable. Plus, I have my grandfather to take care of. He still asks when all my new friends are coming back to have tea. He had me buy more cups."

"Samra, your grandfather can come to live with us. We'll have dozens of servants to take care of him and us. Life will be great for us, your grandfather and our children."

She looked at him with wide eyes, "What children?"

The prince smiled from ear to ear, "The many children we will have. One will be a son that will be the next king after me."

Samra pulled away from the prince. "I've never really felt that I wanted children. And I certainly would never have a child who already had his whole life planned out for him. That is not a life for anyone. I don't think you should come around anymore. I will never be able do what you want me to."

The prince pleaded with her, but she would not budge. She was very polite, but tried to get him to understand they had very different goals in life. Plus, being royalty is not something everyone yearns to be. The prince went home defeated.

Weeks later, the king came to see him in his chambers to convince him to get out of bed and continue his search for a wife. But the prince didn't want another woman. He only wanted Samra. The king knew the fate of the kingdom was possibly at stake, so he sent for the old witch who lived deep in the woods. He was willing to do anything to get his son into a better mood and moving again.

The witch came and listened to the king's story. She claimed a simple love potion would solve this problem. She returned the next day with a small bag of powder and gave the king instructions on its use.

The king rushed to his son's chambers and explained what he had done. The prince was doubtful, but was cheered slightly to learn that there was still hope of winning the woman he loved. He left the palace that night to do as his father told him.

The prince went to Samra's house and sprinkled the powder on the windowsill of Samra's bedroom. The witch said the person sleeping in that room would fall hopelessly in love with the person who placed the powder. He did his job and went back home.

The prince awoke the next morning to a servant knocking on his bedroom door. There was someone here to see him.

When the prince came downstairs, Samra was there talking excitedly with the king. When she saw the prince she ran into his arms and started kissing him. The witch's powder had worked. Samra was infatuated with the prince.

The prince sent for her grandfather to move into the palace and joyfully started making plans for the royal wedding.

Everyone was in attendance at the wedding. Lords and ladies from all over the realm came to offer gifts and their good wishes. It was the event of the generation. Everything went splendidly.

Within a few months, it was announced Princess Samra was with child and the kingdom rejoiced. 

She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The prince could not have been more proud of his beautiful wife and son.

However, deep in the woods there was a disturbance among the animals. The old witch, who was very very old, had grown sick. She spent many of her days in bed and the numerous spells she had cast over the years were growing weaker. The animals she had enchanted no longer brought her the herbs and spices she needed for her spells. Some of these herbs were for making the potions she used to prolong her life.

Soon she grew too weak to rise and she died alone in the forest late one night.

At the instant of her death, all the power of her magic died with her. Samra awoke suddenly in the night in terror. She remembered everything she had done for the last few years, but had no idea why. All she knew was that she had been a slave trapped in her own body unable to say and do the things she felt. Her life had been a nightmare as she married this man she had previously rejected. Her body forced her to smile and wave at people who came to see the royal family in court. For years, she had wanted to scream as her unwanted husband bedded her. She had wanted nothing more but to escape, but her body would not cooperate.

She looked over at his sleeping body and felt the hatred rush through her as he slept there smiling. She didn't know how he had done it, but he was the cause of all her suffering for the last few years. The last time she was in control of her own body, she had rejected him. He had to be the one behind it.

She slipped out of bed and picked up the dagger on the table. She tiptoed back to her sleeping husband and slit his throat. His eyes opened and looked at her in fear and confusion as he clutched at his bleeding throat.

She raised the dagger above her head and shouted, "NO MEANS NO!" as she brought it down again and buried it deep in his chest.

---

 

All this month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. A new post will go up every day (except Sundays) using a letter of the alphabet as the starting off point. My theme for the month is literary genres. I am writing in a different genre of flash fiction each day. Today's letter is F for Fairy Tale.

This post was inspired by the idiot who has been leaving all the spam on the blogs I've been reading this week. The spammer keeps suggesting the reader contact a "spellcaster" to make your life better. She uses the story of how her cheating husband came crawling back to her after contacting this person. It disgusted me. This story grew out of that.

R - Regret

Everyone has those things they regret. It may be words you wish you could take back, an action you did (or did not do), or a reaction you had to something. I know I have several of those. We've all had experiences that we may wish we didn't have to live through. However, there are always those people who like to say "Well, it is your experiences that made you into the person you are today." or "It was those things that led you to this place."

I don't really curse on this blog, but I have to call bullshit. I can't think of a better word today.

While it is true that the culmination of our choices lead us to our present and bad experiences can make us stronger (but just as often weaker), that does not mean we should have taken that path.

My biggest regret in life involved a five-month-long storm in my normally peaceful life. And while I can say that I definitely learned a lot from this experience, I will not claim that my life was improved because of it.

In my early twenties, I frequented a bar near my home almost every day. As a regular, I got to know one of the bartenders. With time, I got to hear more about her miserable life. She was in a relationship with a guy who was controlling and physically abusive. But if she left, she would have nowhere to go and with two small kids, she felt trapped.

Slowly over the course of a few months, her flirting with me began to work. I don't know how many guys she was feeding this line to, but I was the one who fell for it. I decided I was going to be the one to rescue her. I called a couple of my friends one day to get some help so we could show up at her house, pack all her stuff while her boyfriend was at work and get her out of there. She was coming to live with me.

The guys I called for help were the Crew. My closest group of friends. And all of them but one, said no. They would not help. They weren't busy, they just refused to be part of it. A couple of them even told me not to do this.

I did not heed their warnings. In fact, their reluctance to help ticked me off.

But it was more than that. One of them put his finger in my face and started rattling off all the crazy things we knew about this girl. He told me she would be a nightmare and the circumstances of our new relationship would make it ten times worse in the tiny town we lived in. Everything said was true, but it didn't make me any less angry. I would show him. This girl needed help and I would put up with the inevitable storm to be that man who protected her.

I brought her and her kids back to my house where I still had a roommate that I had not checked with first (he moved out within a month). He was one of the first casualties of collateral damage this decision caused.

The backlash was swift. She lost her job immediately since the bar was owned by the father of the man I had just "rescued" her from. Being a small town with barely a hundred people, it was also the only social gathering place around. And I was no longer welcome.

The gossip around town was in full force and we were the focus of all of it. To get ahead of it, she and I got married almost immediately. I married her despite the fact that she and I were having horrible arguments every day. However, I was determined to show everyone (and it was everyone) that they were wrong. And I chalked her moodiness up to the stress of what was happening around us. I told myself I was strong enough to do this.

I had no idea how bad it was going to get.

It turned out she was crazy. And I don't just say that because she is my ex. She was crazy. She would recount the story of an argument we had to her sister and lie about everything that happened. She would do this right in front of me. I learned quickly not to call her out on stuff in front of people because the scene that was caused was not worth it.

She would fly into rages and physically attack me. One time, while trying to deflect her punches, my finger must have caught her lip. Maybe. I really don't know what happened. She might have even hit herself. But she suddenly threw herself on the ground and started screaming about me hitting her. I couldn't see any mark, but I didn't get much of a chance to look before she locked herself in the bathroom. When she came out 30 minutes later, her lip was bloodied and swollen. I knew she had done something to herself in the bathroom.

The next day, I get a phone call from her sister. Her sister told me that my wife had shown up at her house in the morning to show what I had done to her. And the story was epic. It involved furniture flying around the house and the kids screaming to protect their mother while I locked them in their rooms. This story terrified me because I didn't know who else she was telling these stories to. But her sister assured me that she knew it wasn't true. She knew the kids had stayed with their aunt the night before and she didn't believe I would behave in such a way anyway. She told me that she had long suspected the stories she told about her ex were fabricated as well.

Oh, yeah. This whole thing started because I was rescuing her from an abusive relationship. And now she's running around telling people that I am doing those things to her. And I haven't touched her. I began to see her evil ex in a much more sympathetic light. I no longer knew what was true.

I have dozens more stories about psychological manipulation, complex webs of lies that she weaved through many people, enemies that she made for me, more physical abuse (she couldn't get upset without throwing a punch and she was always upset about something), her purposefully depriving me of sleep to punish me for something, and the loss of my friends who wouldn't come around the house if she was there.

It finally came to an end in the middle of one of those big fights. She loved to find what hurt you and focus all her attention on it. She fought dirty and never had mercy. She had pressed and pressed me since I got home from work and wasn't letting up. She had already thrown things and hit me several times and she started again with her cutting words. She stepped up to me with her fist cocked back and something snapped in my head.

I took a step forward reaching for her to put a stop to this. I can't honestly say what I was about to do, but it was not going to be good. I was in a rage and had had enough. But when I started to surge toward her, I saw a glint of glee in her eyes.

She had done it. She finally broke me and she knew it. I was seconds away from sealing the deal with whatever I was about to do to her. And once I did it, she would own me.

This entire realization came crashing down on me. Months of psychological and physical torture had worn me down. I couldn't take it anymore. She had pushed and pushed and pushed and was never going to stop. I knew that sooner or later, I would hurt her. A person can only take so much. I couldn't do this anymore.

I stepped back and felt this sense of relief wash over me. I was done.

Her anger stopped for a moment as she looked at me and I think she sensed what had just happened. Her face contorted into wrath I had not seen yet. She started throwing everything she could get her hands on. She tried to scratch out my eyes. She punched and bit me. I ran out the door and left in my car as the contents of our living room started getting thrown out on to the yard.

I didn't have a plan, but I knew I could never spend another unaccompanied minute with her. Who knows what she might try to claim I've done to her. Getting out of this relationship without further damage would require witnesses from this point forward.

I was driving around trying to figure out where I was going to spend the night when my phone rang. Since it was her, I wasn't going to answer and listen to her apologies. However, she left a voicemail saying that the excitement of the evening had sent her son into an asthma attack. She was going to the hospital. I suspected that this was not true. She loved using her kids as pawns for guilt.

I didn't know where she had gone, but I used the opportunity of her being out of the house to go change the locks. Before the night was over, she showed up with the man I had "rescued" her from. A few threats were thrown around (by her, not him) and just like that, she was living back in his house.

We were legally divorced a week later.

As bad as this situation was, believe it or not, I have not put the worst stuff in here. I have a limit to the darkness I will post on my blog. She is a deeply disturbed woman.

As with every other post I have done this month, I will wrap it up by telling how this person affected me and what I learned from it. Some of this is difficult to admit.

First, I severely damaged my reputation in that small town. That bar where I met her was the only place in town to hang out and meet people and it was permanently off-the-table for me. I don't live in that town anymore, but I'm not sure I would even be welcome there today and it's been over 25 years.

After coming out of such a one-sided controlling relationship, I over-compensated when I later got married. I was so determined to never be taken advantage of like that again. It took a few years to shake free of the baggage I brought into my second marriage. I was super-sensitive about any type of criticism toward me. I did not like to be questioned about anything. I almost wonder if it was a mild form of PTSD. It was a five-month nightmare and I did not come out unscathed.

My friends started coming back around once she was gone and they got to hear the stories about what went on behind closed doors. And I told them that I was hurt they abandoned me. They rightfully defended themselves. They hadn't abandoned me. I had abandoned them. And there was no reason they should be expected to have to sit in a room with a person they hated just to show loyalty to me. They were more than happy to hang out with me anytime she wasn't around. And it's not like I didn't know where they were. But she had worked to alienate me from my friends and I unknowingly let her do it.

They also reminded me that they had all told me to steer clear of her. None of them saw a happy ending to this and I had chosen to ignore them. That is the biggest part of what I take away from all this.

When everyone can see something except for you, you might want to accept that it is you who is blind.

I saw the warning signs before I got married. I saw a few of them before I even "rescued" her, but I decided I knew better than everyone else. And I mean EVERYONE. So many people were against us that I was determined to make it work just to "win" and shove it in their faces. I honestly believe that if no one had said anything, I would have backed out on my own before it was too late.

LIFE LESSON: If you have surrounded yourself with good people who you respect, then their guidance and opinions should carry some weight. Otherwise, why are they your friends?

Thank you to all of you who had my back. I am so sorry I did not listen.

---

This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.

N - Now (Red)

Next month, my wife and I will be celebrating our 5^th wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been a whirlwind of adventure. Let me just list some truths about our relationship story.

• I proposed to Red before I had met her or knew her name. I had never even seen a picture.
• I hacked a state database to learn where she worked so I could send her flowers.
• The time frame between us picking a wedding date and the day of the wedding was 8 days.
• One year later, we vacationed in Turkey the week before their military coup. Ankara got bombed days before we were there. A Syrian refugee searched our car one day for bombs before letting us leave his camp.
• We moved to China 17 months after getting married.
• We now live in Vietnam.
• In the short time we've been together, we have lived in three different countries and visited seven. We've seen both U.S. coasts and much of the country in between.

Life has been busy and it has been great, but months ago someone asked me a question that still rattles around in my head.

 "Weren't you concerned that moving to another country might be too much strain for a couple so recently married?"

It was a legitimate question. Moving twelve time zones away to a foreign land is immensely stressful and scary and technically we were still a new couple. But I don't remember being worried about that.

We were honest with ourselves and each other during the moving process. We knew there would be some huge challenges once we got there and we recognized that we didn't even know what those challenges were going to be. We also knew that one of our biggest strengths as a couple is our ability to communicate. We talk to each other.

I mean really talk.

I was concerned about the stress of the move and the adjustments that would be required, but I was not concerned about how it would affect our relationship. I think it goes back to how we started dating.

Red and I met online through each other's blogs. I'm not going to tell the whole story here, but innocent conversations online grew into more. This gave us a chance to get to know each other outside of looking for romance. When the possibility of a relationship began to grow, we threw some hard truths at each other. We even had a 'red flag' conversation. On that phone call, we each admitted things about ourselves that would make us look bad. (For me: I rarely hold a job more than a year, I had two ex-wives, etc)

We candidly stated our stances on social, political and religious issues. We explained how we felt about kids, finances, ethics, family traditions and much more. We just put it all on the line.

We talked in depth about all the things that a lot of couples don't get into for years. I believe we both knew this relationship had the potential to go somewhere and it just needed to all be out in the open. We didn't want to waste each other's time if there was something one of us would not be able to live with. Why wait years to learn something and then break up?

This also caused us to call each other out on some bad communication habits we had each picked up over the years. For myself, she quickly corrected how I respond to questions when I don't appreciate the direction of a conversation. With some honest self-reflection and looking back at how this practice had not been helpful in my last marriage, I was able to change it.

This is just one of the ways that being in this woman's presence has made me a better person.

All of this is also why I was not worried about how we as a couple would handle our big move to China. We had each other's backs and knew that.

I am so in love with my wife and look forward to where the next five years will take us.

---

This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.

Colors of Purpose

A long, long time ago I was eighteen years old. Wow! That was 30 years ago. But my aging body is not the point of this post. I had graduated high school the year before and just started dating a girl who was still trapped in there.

On Valentine's Day, I dropped my brothers off at school and noticed that one of the school clubs was selling roses to be delivered to people in classes that day. I hopped out of my car and looked over their choices. They had several kinds of flowers, but it was mostly roses. After all, it was Valentine's Day.

I figured my new girl would be thrilled to get some unexpected flowers in the middle of her school day.  After a quick scan, I immediately knew which one I wanted. There was a beautiful blue rose that was almost exactly her favorite color. Plus, I didn't think I had ever seen a blue rose before. It was unique and it was perfect.

I paid my money and was told it would be delivered to her at some point before lunch period.

I left the school pretty proud of myself and looked forward to seeing her later.

I dropped by her house after work that night and she greeted me at the door with the rose in her hand. She thanked me for the unexpected gift and placed it back in the house as we left to take a walk.

As we walked hand in hand enjoying the crisp February air, she suddenly stopped and turned to me, "What does blue mean?"

I was confused by this abrupt question. "Being blue? You mean 'being sad'?"

She lowered her eyes to the ground. "What are you sad about?"

"I'm not sad. It's actually been a really good week for me."

She brought her eyes up back to mine and asked, "So, that wasn't a sad rose?"

"Oh," the context of her question finally hit me as my face broke into a smile. "No. That wasn't a sad rose. Do roses get sad?"

I turned so we could start walking again, but she held me in place. "Then what does blue mean?"

I had no idea what was being asked and she could see the confusion on my face, so she continued, "A yellow rose is what you send to a friend. Peach roses show gratitude and are typically used as a thank you for something. Orange is usually for celebration and a red rose is obviously for love."

I was beginning to realize this was going somewhere but still didn't know where. "Wow. I didn't know all that. What does blue mean?"

She paused and looked hard into my eyes. "I don't know. Blue roses don't occur in nature. They have to be dyed that color. You sent it to me. So, what does blue mean?"

"I didn't know the color has all this extra meaning."

She was visibly disgusted by this answer and quickly released my hand. "You have never told me you loved me and there were red roses right there. Why did you choose a blue one?" I could see the tears beginning to build in her eyes.

I wasn't going to address the 'I love you' part. We had been dating less than a month, but I thought I could tackle the rose debacle. "I picked that flower because you love blue. It is your favorite color and it is almost exactly the same shade as that dress you love."

Her shoulders started to shake, "But what does it mean?"

I could feel the blood rising to my face. "Seriously? It meant I listen to what you say. Here is a flower in her favorite color. She will love this. It is Valentine's Day, so I sent you a flower."

She took my hand and started back toward the house. We walked all the way in silence. The gentle chill to the air had grown cold. When we got to the front door, she turned to me, planted a gentle kiss on my cheek and whispered, "Next time, send me the red ones."

I got back in my car and tried to figure out what just happened. How was sending a girl flowers a bad thing?

The next day, I drove to a florist and ordered six red roses to be delivered to her house after school. I wanted to be entirely sure that this time she understood my intentions so I included a note that read "I hope this color is more to your liking. And now that we've seen each other's true colors, let's not see each other any more."

---

H is for Husband

As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.

---

My first blog post was on October 11, 2010. About 16 months later (February 2012), I got my first comment from a particular blogger. Since I always try to visit the blogs of the people who comment on mine, I read a few of her posts and left some comments over there. We were regular readers of each others' blogs until she wrote a particular post which really spoke to me. So, I proposed to her in her comment section.

This proposal was meant to be a joke and was taken as such, but we ran with it for a while. We lived over 900 miles apart and would never meet each other, but were happy to claim each other as our internet fiance. Since this was all online and not in person, I was able to hide behind relative anonymity and flirt shamelessly. Since we would never meet, what was the harm?

A few months later, due to some family concerns, she ends up moving from the East Coast to the Midwest. She was then less than 200 miles from where I lived. With this new development, I mustered up all my courage and suggested we meet in person. After attempting to prove that I was not a psycho and calling in literally dozens of character witnesses, she was convinced. We met halfway and had a very good day. I even suckered a kiss out of her.

After several more months of dating, I eventually moved to Indianapolis to be closer and complete my graduate degree. Then, in May 2014, we were married. It's been an awesome two years since then.

I started this blog because my daughter boyfriend at the time talked me into doing it. I just enjoyed expressing myself. I didn't expect to find a bride, but I'm glad I did. Thank you, Alex.

Mr & Mrs Transformed Nonconformist

Four months! 

It's been over four months since my last post. A lot can happen over four months. A lot has happened. I've really dropped the ball. Let me try to give a quick recap of what I have not written about.

My daughter left high school with a bang.

Valentine's Day has come and gone, as well as St. Patrick's Day. I got a job in the Indianapolis Public School system. Spring Break is over. Summer vacation has started. My daughter graduated high school. Orange is the New Black has released season two onto Netflix. Russia invaded the Ukraine. An 18 year old girl in New Jersey lost the case against her parents when she sued them for college tuition. The Big Bang Theory got picked up for three more seasons. Casey Kasem died and I got married.

I'm not going to try to cover all of that in this post. One thing at a time. Let's start with the last item on the list. I got married.

OK. It's 7 o' clock. Let's compare stories. I got married today. Who can top that one?
— Brett Minor (@brettminor) May 4, 2014

I am sure that I have lost some followers since my writing has drastically slowed in the last year, but my long-time readers know that on May 2, 2012, I met face-to-face with Red of Doesn't Speak Klingon. Before that, we met through our blogs, we conversed in the comment sections. We traded emails and eventually started making phone calls. We then dated for almost two years while living 200 miles apart.

Last December, I moved to Indianapolis to take advantage of some educational opportunities to finish up my degree. I moved to a big city for these opportunities. I chose Indianapolis because that was where Red lived. We had already seriously discussed marriage, but there was nothing official. I thought it would be nice to get to date while living in the same town. Those bi-weekly commutes were hard on both of our wallets.

It didn't take long before we knew marriage was in our future. We just needed to decide when. Neither one of us was interested in the ceremony, but didn't want to exclude family either, so eloping or just going to a courthouse was out of the question. We had the end of the summer in mind. I would have just finished my degree and she would be moved into a bigger place ready for me to come join her.

Once we got her moved in, we were just waiting for the time to pass. I had my place, she had hers, and we knew we would be married in 3 to 4 months. However, no one else knew that. We had decided to keep it quiet so it could be ours and no one else's. We wanted no family input on how it should be done, what food should be served, what should be worn, or who should be invited. We just wanted to be married. We didn't know when it would happen, but we did know we wouldn't be giving much notice to anyone.

One Saturday morning, Red was discussing the travel plans of her sisters. They were both going to be in town the following weekend. Her family is so spread out, they are very rarely all in the same place. Her brothers aren't even in the country. So, I suggested doing it the following Sunday.

Red: "Are you serious?"
Me: "Sure. Why not?"
Red: "OK!"
Me: "Great! We're getting married in eight days!"

I quickly called Chuck, a local minister friend of mine, to check his availability. We then called Red's parents to tell them our plans and get permission to do it in their backyard. We called our immediate family members and assured everyone that nothing was needed but their presence. For the people who like to stress about these types of events, we had provided them with the gift of only getting to stress for eight days.

We did get some questions.

"Would you like me to pick up some ___________?"
"No."

"Hey. Should I bring a ____________?"
"No."

"How about if we get a few _____________?"
"No."

Red and I had decided that more "stuff" and involvement would just make the event bigger and more stressful with things to plan. We were going to show up at her parents' house after church with some pizzas and soda for everyone and when they all got there, get married. That was a simple plan and we wanted it to stay that way.

We only put effort into three things.

1. Red SOLO cups - we specifically had red SOLO cups simply because someone told us that we couldn't (not one of the guests or family).
2. We purposefully mismatched the plates we used. I had a 10-pack of Happy Birthday, 10-pack of sports themed, 10-pack of underwater themed, and 10-pack of Disney princesses. This was done to demonstrate that we were not concerned with protocol or appearance.
3. We begged everyone to not mention the ceremony to anyone or put it on social media. We wanted to announce it after the fact. Everyone respected our wishes.

Red's mother did get us a beautiful cake and one of her sisters bought items for the best man, maid of honor, and cheerleader to hold (we had a cheerleader instead of a flower girl).

Notice the casual style.
(Except for the cheerleader's tiara and my tuxedo t-shirt)

It occurred to us after picking the date that May 4th is Star Wars Day.

"May the Fourth (force) be with you."

Get it? Plus, since Red is a huge Star Wars geek, it turned out to be the perfect day to do it. That's why there were light sabers. Thank you, Hestia.

We had 15 guests (plus the minister and his 6 kids), a day that could not have been more beautiful, and every family invited was able to make it. Plus, our main goal for the day was accomplished. We were married.

I only met this wonderful woman because
I started a blog in October 2010.

Someone to Love

Due to my recent class schedule (and new job that actually expects me to do stuff), I have been busy enough that my blogging has slowed down significantly. Plus, I have been spending a substantial amount of time with Red of Doesn't Speak Klingon.

For my regular readers, you already know that we met through our blogs. We regularly commented on each others' posts and it just grew from there. For those of you that are newer readers, Red and I met through our blogs. We regularly commented on each others' posts and it just grew from there. However, for the people in our real lives (non-bloggers), they were not present to see this blogging love drama play out.

Every time one of us meet a member of the other person's family or group of friends, we are asked, "How did you meet?"

It's a legitimate question since there was a 900 mile distance between us when this first started. Even today, we have been actual face-to-face dating for over a year, but have to travel 200 miles to see each other. People tend to wonder how we got together. Plus, people are nosy.

When asked the question, we always smile and say "We met online."

Nosy interrogator: "OH! A dating site?"

Us: (at the same time, emphatically, and loudly): "NO!"

I don't know why we have always been so adamant about making sure people understand we did not meet on a dating site. In fact, we each very quickly try to make it clear that neither of us has ever had a dating profile. It just seems to reek of a desperation we don't want to be associated with.

However, I do understand the immediate assumption. I've heard that 1 out of 4 new relationships are started online and most of those are the result of dating sites. Personally, I know a few dozen people who are dating someone they met through a dating site and even know of a few marriages.

All this came to mind last night when I saw a commercial on television for a dating site called Farmers Only. It is an online dating site for country people. Their motto is "Because city folks just don't get it."

Seriously? Do we really need a dating site that specifically caters to ranchers and farmers? Now, I am not being critical of these people. I grew up in the country and proudly identified myself as a redneck.

Not a hick…a redneck. There is a difference.

As ridiculous as this seems, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me. Since most dating profiles consist of a picture and a short description, you could easily waste a lot of your time scouring profiles of people who are radically different than you. Not that country people and city people couldn't ever make it work, but commonalities are usually more compatible than differences. Finding someone who has the same mindset as you would give a much better success rate. Why not narrow the field a bit? If you were a cattle rancher, your future spouse would have to be someone who was happy living the life of a cattle rancher's wife.

It just made me wonder, if this service was being marketed to the niche market of farmers, what other people groups might benefits from a personality specific type of service?

I turned to the internet and soon found a site for people who had grown disenfranchised from the mainstream dating sites. Try to imagine this scenario. You are looking for love and have had no luck in the real world, so you start an online dating profile. As I mentioned before, most profiles consist of a short bio and a picture. Unfortunately, you are not what most people would consider attractive.

When a picture of your ugly mug is on a dating site with hundreds of other people's more attractive pictures, it quickly becomes depressing when no one wants to contact you and no one returns your invitations to talk. What are you supposed to do?

Luckily, there is a site just for you and the other Uggos. The Ugly Bug Ball is a dating site for the aesthetically average. It sounds really depressing.

Another site that does something similar, but in a more positive way is The Big & the Beautiful. This site is all about being comfortable with who you are. It is for bigger girls and the men who love them. The site actually used the term chubby chasers.

On the other end of the spectrum is Beautiful People. If you are one of the beautiful people of the world and feel that you deserve an equally attractive mate and shouldn't be lumped in with all the "less than spectacular" people, then this is the site for you. However, you had better be sure you actually are a beautiful person or you may be hit with a dose of reality. You can't just join the site. The uggos are not allowed. You must submit pictures which will be put on the site to be judged by the current members. IF you are deemed attractive enough, they will let you in.

From there, the sites just got more specific. Whether you are attractive or not, if you are a nerd, Nerd Passions is there to help you find your future nerdy spouse. You can even specify what is is that makes you a nerd. Do you want someone to play video games with? Are you looking for a date to Comic-Con? Do you want someone to accompany you to Magic the Gathering nerdfests? It would be better to pick up a girl from this site so there would be no surprises when she finds out you will spend more time with Lara Croft than you ever will with her. If you happen to be an African American, but are concerned that white people just don't make the right kind of nerds, there is even a specific site for Black Nerds.

A year ago, I went to a cookout at Red's parents' house. Her dad made some fantastic pork chops. As I dove into this culinary delight, I looked over to discover that Red was eating a large mushroom. What? A mushroom?  I love my meat. I can't think of any animal that I wouldn't eat given the chance. Now, Red is not a vegetarian, but does not share my love of animal flesh. We have worked it out, but believe it or not, there is a dating site that addresses this issue. Veggie Date is a dating site for vegetarians and those who love the vegan lifestyle.

For people who love to read, it is sometimes frustrating to hold a conversation with someone who hasn't picked up a book since high school. Alikewise is specifically for bibliophiles (book lovers) and even pairs people up by the types of books they most enjoy. If you are very, very specific about the books you read and must have someone who agrees, The Atlasphere is for Ayn Rand fans. Specifically, fans of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. I like Ayn Rand, but WOW!

Seeking Arrangement, Sugar Daddies, and What's Your Price are all sites for women looking to be pampered by a wealthy and generous man. On one of these sites, the women can join for free and only the men pay. In fact, if a man in interested in going out with a woman on the site, they can begin a negotiation with the site as a mediator to agree on a price for a date. Until a price is agreed upon, the communication feature is locked.

There are sites for Christians, Democrats, Mormons, people over 50 years old, people who are looking for a mate covered in tattoos and piercings, people who don't want children, and even people who are Apple or Mac lovers. It seems that someone has set up a dating site for what ever your special interest may be. I found dating sites based on beer, yoga, coffee, fashion, travel, golf, chocolate, and frugals (cheap skates). Some revolved around professions: lawyers, millionaires, psychics, teachers, and ballet dancers.

I even found a site for people who are HIV Positive. This one kind of makes sense. If you have AIDS, another person who already has it would probably be the place to start looking for a match.

I just can't imagine having to have this much in common with another person. I wonder if there is a site out there for self-employed midget psychic ex-con Libertarians who love bird watching and ethnically-based stand-up comedy. Whether there is or not, I firmly believe there's someone out there for everyone.

Is It Too Soon?

I am still working my way through the questions submitted from the November 27 post. Today's question comes from Misty of Misty's Laws. Click picture to visit her blog.

Misty's Question:

My question: What was the exact moment you knew you were in love with Red? When and in what circumstance did it happen?

Ok, another: If you found out you had 1 week to live, what events would you fill those remaining 7 days with?

I will answer the second question first since it is simpler. I really don't believe there would be any events that I would want to pursue. I would want to spend the time with family. I would want to see my parents, brothers, children, Red, and whoever else I may have time to visit with that have been prominent parts of my life. That's it.

As for the first question, I know exactly when that moment was. I don't recall the date, but I remember the conversation. I didn't say it during that conversation because I thought it was too soon and didn't want to scare her off, but I knew.

Red and I had only met face to face twice at this moment. That may seem extremely fast, but we had been in communication for a few months. Despite having only been in her physical presence a couple of times, I had a very good grasp of who she was.

When I proposed to Red in the comment section of her blog about Valentine's Day as a joke and having no idea it would ever become anything more, it sparked some conversation and playful back and forth. Knowing the girl in question was all the way in Delaware and there was no chance I would actually meet her, I was free to just be myself and flirt openly. What's the harm? She is clear on the other side of the country.

After weeks of commenting back and forth in the blog comments, we finally started emailing. That's when it got more interesting because we were having private conversations. We could open up even more. There was no love yet, but the interest was growing. The great part about this was that I hadn't even seen a picture of her yet. I was beginning to fall for someone I had never laid eyes on. It was all based upon her and who she was. Soon afterward, the phone conversations began and the swoon effect was beginning to take shape.

We finally meet face to face in May. It was a little awkward at first, but we got through it and decided to meet again. More relaxed this time, we were much more able to enjoy each other's company. A few days later, we were talking on the phone and the conversation shifted to what must be wrong with each other.

We were intentionally trying to come up with 'red flags' about each other - warning signs that could signal future problems. It was during this call that I brought up a concern I had. I have been divorced twice. I have mentioned it on my blog a couple of times and at that point, Red had been through my entire archive. I was aware that she knew this, but had never asked about it.

Now, I will not reveal the details of her response because it gives away more than I am comfortable sharing, but she explained her outlook on my divorces. I got choked up and the words "I love you" almost escaped from my lips. I held back for fear that it was way too soon to say those serious words despite knowing that it was true.

The next time we saw each other, she said the words. I smiled and dropped my eyes and she began to explain. She knew it may be too soon to say it and she hoped I wasn't freaked out by hearing it, but it was true and just had to be said. I cut her off and explained my reaction. She had just said it before me.

Misty, I hope that answers your question. It didn't take long once we actually got to meet, but we had plenty of time to build it up before then.

Psychos Need Love Too

Earlier this week, "Jen" E Sais Quoi shared some stories about nightmare dates her and her friends had been on. There are some great stories over there. At the end of her post, she asked her readers to share some stories of their own. I wanted to participate and tried to remember if I had any really bad ones. I was about to give up when I remembered an experience with a girl that I was surprised I had forgotten about. Her name was Kelly.

Time seems to stop
on these shifts.

I was about twenty years old and working the midnight shift at a gas station. There was almost no business all night until about 5 a.m. I had no tv or radio and this was before the days of internet. It got pretty boring. After cleaning up the lot, sweeping the floors, and making coffee, I would just pray for customers to come in to help me pass the time. Kelly was one of those customers.

Kelly worked at a local restaurant and would get off work about midnight. She would drop buy most nights to grab a soda or sandwich before going home. Being one of the regulars I saw almost every night, we talked a little more each time she came in. There were several customers that I enjoyed conversation with, but she was the only one that would stick around and just talk. Being by myself all night, I was happy for the company.

In the beginning, she hung around an extra 10 minutes or so after making her purchase. Soon, she began to stay longer. She sometimes stuck around for over an hour before heading home for the night. I didn't think much of it. I had learned that she lived in an apartment by herself, so she had no one to get home to. She seemed to enjoy my company also. We were both happy to help each other pass the time.

The amount of time she spent at the gas station increased more and more. Being happy to have someone to talk to, I never considered it until one of the mangers said something to me. She had been seen on the security cameras and spent so much time their during my shifts they advised me that my girlfriend could not hang out there any more. I couldn't get them to believe that she was just a customer, but I understood their point.

That night, when I told her she couldn't stay so long anymore, she understood. She then admitted that she had been hanging around in the hopes that I would ask her out. As usual, I was totally oblivious to this type of thing. I had no idea she liked me. You know in past posts how I have stated that I have no game? This is an example.

She also said that if she couldn't hang out any more, then the opportunity for me to ask her out had come to an end. So, she asked me. I had enjoyed her company for the last several weeks. She was great to talk to, so I agreed. We exchanged numbers and she went home.

The following day, after getting a few hours sleep, I ran into town to do a few errands. She saw me and followed me back home. I was quite surprised when she pulled in my driveway behind me. I invited her in and we chatted for about an hour. When I started trying to bring the conversation to a close so I could mow my lawn and get some more rest before heading back into work that night, she wasn't picking up on my cues.

As time went on, I gave up on getting my lawn mowed, but bluntly said that I had to go to bed before going in to work. She stated she would be quiet and let me sleep. Notice that Kelly did not say she would leave. She would just stay quiet. 

Not being as bold as I am today, I didn't object. I thought it was strange, but I said nothing and decided she was weird enough that our "date" was never going to happen. I went to my bedroom and went to sleep. I woke a few hours later, took a shower and walked into my kitchen to find her sitting at the table with a full cooked meal. I had forgotten she was there! I always appreciate food, but this was a little bizarre.

I was able to get her out of the house when I left for work, but didn't recognize this as the problem it was soon going to be. Had I made my reservations clear, I might have avoided what was to come.

 She showed up at my house almost every day. I was always polite, but would try to get her to leave. Often, I would not invite her into the house, but she was happy to talk outside. Once, when she showed up, I told her I was on my out the door for a friend's emergency. I hopped in my car and sped off. She followed me.

Kelly started showing up at my favorite bar. I would be hanging out at a friend's house and she would pull in his driveway. She found out what restaurants I liked to go to. She started showing up at my friends' houses when I wasn't home looking for me. My friends put up with her for a while, but eventually grew tired of her coming around all the time. After several weeks of this, they started treating her like crap. A few of the girls went as far as to tell her that she was not welcome in the group. However, she never seemed to hear it.

One day, I woke up to find her sitting at the foot of my bed. I decided I would have to throw being polite out the window. I yelled at her to get out of my bedroom. Once I got dressed, I found her in the living room asking what we were going to do that day. I told her she was going to leave and not come back. She was confused.

I reminded her that we had never gone on that date because she freaked me out. I had never, not once, invited her anywhere; she just came. My friends hated her and no one wanted to see her around anymore. She started crying and left saying that she couldn't believe she was being treated this way. I was relieved to finally have her out of my life.

The next night, I was sitting in the bar with my friends telling them the story of how it all went down. Now that she was out of the picture, they were volunteering more information about how they felt about her. They were telling me that she had referred to me as her boyfriend since the first time they met her. One of them said he thought she was my girlfriend since she was often at my house when I wasn't there. He had stopped by to drop something off once and she answered the door in a towel. She looked like she had just taken a shower. I had no idea this had been happening.

In the middle of this conversation, Kelly walks into the bar and joins us at the table, smiling like nothing had ever happened. One of the girls asked her what she was doing there.

Kelly replied with a smile, "This is where we are every Friday night."

She got up to go to the bar to get a drink. When she came back, she kissed me on the cheek and sat down beside me. She had never done that before. What was she doing?

We were all looking at her trying to figure out what was going on when she reached out and took my hand.  Once again, this was new. I jumped up and said I was leaving. The rest of the group followed me out the door. We went back to my house.

We were sitting in my living room discussing what had just happened when Kelly walked in the door. I stood to say something to her when one of the girls got up, walked up to me and started kissing me.

This had been joked about a few weeks earlier. One of the guys had wondered what would happen if Kelly saw a girl making out with me. This girl decided to find out. She then sat next to me, curled up close and glared at Kelly.

Everyone froze staring at Kelly to see what would happen. Kelly stood still in the middle of the room for at least two minutes. Suddenly, her face turned red and she started screaming. She threw herself on the floor and sobbed. We all looked at each other. What do we do now?

I started to get up, but the girl beside me said, "No, we already know she won't listen to you. This needs to be a territorial thing."

She told Kelly to get up and get out. Kelly got up and started cussing at me. She called me every name I had ever heard, plus some new ones. Her voice was shrieking as she confessed how much she loved me, would have given everything to me, and would have been good to me.

Then she abruptly stopped crying. It was like a switch had been flipped. She was in full hysterics and then...BOOM!...total serenity. She smiled like nothing had happened. She picked up her purse, laughed as though someone had told a joke and said she would see us later as she walked out the door.

Not only did we not see her later (much to our relief), but none of us ever saw her again. She disappeared. I never did hear what happened to her. Of course, I never really tried to find out.

For the record, Kelly was NOT a redhead.

Full Circle

Just a few years after high school, a friend of mine suffered through his parents getting a divorce. It was really rough and he became estranged from his father for a while. His dad had made some mistakes and in the middle of this conflict Phillip had said some things he regretted, but neither was stepping up to repair the rift between them.

In the midst of all this, Phillip poured his time and energy into hanging out with his friends. He was part of the same group of guys that I hung out with. Phillip was constantly coming up with activities for us to go do. Just hanging out in someone's garage was not good enough for him anymore.

There was a movie out that Phillip wanted to see and convinced us all to go see it with him. Altogether, there were 8 of us and I thought this might be a good opportunity to ask out a girl (I'll call her Sarah) I had had my eyes on for the last few weeks. I guessed a group setting might be more comfortable for her and would make her more likely to say yes.

I guessed correctly and she agreed. Plus, she must have been thinking the same as me. The night before we were all supposed to meet, Sarah decided to bring along her 12-year-old niece. This would provide another buffer between us. I don't know if this was for her comfort or to prevent anything physical (you know, because I am sooooo smooth), but she wanted to bring her.

With this girl being 12 years old, Sarah needed the permission of the girl's mother. The mother was a little uncomfortable with letting her daughter go with Sarah to meet up with a bunch of guys she didn't know but didn't want to deny her the opportunity to hang out with her aunt. Plus, she knew it was important to Sarah.

The girl's mother asked her boyfriend to accompany them to the movie theater to keep an eye on things. Despite not wanting to hang out with a couple of girls in a movie theater on their way to meet up with some guys, he agrees to do her this favor.

The next day he shows up with the girls and follows them as they meet up with us and is caught off guard when he runs into his son Phillip. As it turns out, Sarah's sister was dating Phillip's father and this series of events put them in the same place.

I don't remember what movie we saw or anything else that happened that day, but I will never forget when their eyes met and they suddenly realized what had happened. Within a few seconds they were both choking back tears and Phillip's dad gave him a big bear hug.

This crazy turn of events was all it took for them to start the reconciliation process and become part of a family again.

My First Date: The Date

This post is part two of the story of my first date. Click here for the first part of the story. I don't want anyone to be lost.

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After almost a week of mental anguish and dozens of trips to the bathroom to puke my guts out, I had successfully asked a girl out for the first time. Since this was the first girl I had ever asked on a date, I should have developed a sense of confidence in my 100% success rate. However, I wasn't looking at it this way. I had accomplished the asking part, but now had to spend an entire evening with her. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I was no less anxious than before I had called her.

What are we supposed to talk about?

After spending hours trying to decide what to wear and trying not to insult my mother as I explained that I could not possibly eat anything due to my nervous stomach, I started the drive to her house. Every possible date disaster flashed through my mind as I got closer. What if I puke on her as soon as she comes to the door? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if the night goes well and she wants a kiss at the end of the night? I've never kissed anyone. I don't know how to do that!

I pulled up to her house and suddenly felt even more self-conscious. I mentioned in the last post that her father was a doctor. She lived in a huge house with a large, beautifully manicured lawn. What would she think about the way I was dressed? Would she be embarrassed to ride in my rust bucket of a car? It was too late to consider such things now.

I knocked on the door and was invited in by the woman that answered. She was obviously too young to be Jennifer's mother. Was this their maid? Rich people have maids, right? I introduced myself and told her I was there to pick up Jennifer. The woman gave me a confused look.

POSSIBLE MAID: I didn't know Jennifer was going out tonight.

ME: I was supposed to pick her up at seven.

She left to go get Jennifer and I sat on the couch trying to decide what I would say when Jennifer came down. Over fifteen minutes passed before the woman returned.

POSSIBLE MAID: What was your name again?

ME: Brett

She thanked me and went back upstairs. What was that? Why is this taking so long? Has she changed her mind? Does she really not know who I am? By the time she came back down, I had been there for over thirty minutes worrying that I was leaving a nervous sweat stain on their couch.

POSSIBLE MAID: Jennifer asks if you could come back at 8:30?

I agreed and went back to my car. I drove around town for the next hour trying to figure out what just happened. In that hour, time seemed to stand still. I didn't know if 8:30 would ever come around, but eventually it did and I went back to her house.

As soon as I got out of my car, she came bouncing out the door.

JENNIFER: Sorry I wasn't ready earlier. I thought this was a joke. I didn't realize it was really you and didn't think you were coming.

I opened the car door for her and she asked if I wanted to go to the Loiterers' Club, a local club for teens. I agreed since that was the first time that I had even considered what we were going to do. Remember, this was all new territory for me. At that moment, I had already made more progress with a girl than ever before.

On the way to the club, I was relieved that the small talk was happening without much effort. She was pretty easy to talk to. This date might actually happen without me committing social suicide.

It turned out that she wanted to go to the Loiterers' Club because she was already planning to meet her friends there. She made a quick introduction and said she wanted to dance. I am not much of a dancer, but followed her to the dance floor and danced with her and all of her friends. After several dances, one of her friends noticed that a booth had just opened up. She took my hand a started toward the empty seats.

Let me repeat that. She took my hand...

A girl was holding my hand! I knew this didn't mean anything, but I was suddenly on top of the world. It was this moment that I repeated to one of my friends the next day. She held my hand!

Now I had gone even further with a girl. This night was great!

The rest of the night went without incident. We danced some more. We talked and visited with her friends. There was lots of laughter and the night went really well. When I took her back home, she even said, "I had fun. Let's do this again."

I drove home floating on a cloud. I had just spent an entire evening with a girl. I hadn't embarrassed myself. She seemed to like me. Her friends liked me. The night could not have gone any better.

The next morning I saw a few of my friends who wanted to know how the night went. I told them how great it was and couldn't wait to see her again. They offered me their congratulations and did a little of the obligatory teasing that guys have to do.

Later that afternoon, I had to go into work. One of my coworkers said that he heard I had gone out with Jennifer the night before. He was one of her friends from school and asked me a bunch of questions. He wanted to know where we went. Did I meet so-and-so? What did we do afterwards? He seemed genuinely interested and I was happy to answer them.

However, his last question threw me. I don't remember exactly how he worded it, but he basically asked if I got lucky before dropping her off.

I just stared at him not sure what to say. I hadn't even kissed her. No, I hadn't gotten lucky. I hadn't even tried anything. I didn't even think of trying anything. It was the first date I had ever been on with anybody. Sex was not anything that I had even thought about. Having just stepped into the dating world, I wasn't yet accustomed to this aspect of the male 'locker room' talk. After a few uncomfortable seconds of stunned silence, he raised his eyebrows and said, "Well?"

I felt my face get red as I got angry. I shot him a dirty look, clocked out, and stormed out of the restaurant. After a few minutes, I forgot about the conversation.

When I got home, I called Jennifer to see when she would want to go out again. Hopefully, she would be free that night.

JENNIFER: (angry shouting) No, I don't want to go out. I don't ever want to see you again.

ME: (confused) What?  I thought we had a good time?

JENNIFER: I did, but then you told Rob you slept with me!

ME: No, no, no. I did not!

JENNIFER: No, you didn't actually say it, but I heard all about it. He asked and you gave him an 'I got lucky' smirk and pranced out of the room smiling!

She slammed the phone down. I sat there stunned for several minutes. What just happened? Do I call her back and explain? Would she even believe me? Should I go kill Rob? Why didn't I give him an emphatic 'NO'? Did he misunderstand or just lie? I really wasn't trying to give that impression! How do I fix this?

I mulled this over in my mind and finally decided to just let it go. It wouldn't matter what I said, Rob would stick to his story. Plus, now that the thought was in her mind, she would always wonder how it really went down. I resolved to be single once again.

Monday morning, I saw Jeff at school.

JEFF: Hey, did you go out with that girl Friday night?

ME: Yeah, I did.

JEFF: Cool. Let's double this weekend.

I shoved him into the bushes.