Disney+: Now with 20% More Legal Shenanigans!

Gather ‘round, kids, and let me tell you the tale of how streaming “The Mandalorian” could apparently stop you from suing a mouse.

Recently, a man named Jeffrey Piccolo filed a wrongful death lawsuit against Disney. A tragic story: his wife, Dr. Kanokporn Tangsuan, died after suffering a severe allergic reaction at Raglan Road Irish Pub in Disney Springs October 2023. According to reports, she had clearly informed the staff about her food allergies. Despite this, she was served something she shouldn’t have been, and she collapsed and died shortly after.

Now, you might think this is when Disney steps up, offers condolences, and cooperates with the investigation like any reasonable entity would. But no. Disney reached into its bag of legal tricks, pulled out a shiny, glittery scroll, and shouted, “Aha! You clicked ‘Agree’ to our streaming service Terms & Conditions. Checkmate!”

Disney+ terms prevent allergy death lawsuit, Disney says

Disney's legal team argued that because Piccolo had previously signed up for a free trial of Disney+ FOUR YEARS PREVIOUS (2019), he had agreed to an arbitration clause tucked into the 74-page novella of Terms & Conditions that none of us ever read (unless you’re a robot or a lawyer, or a robot lawyer). According to Disney, this meant he waived his right to sue any part of the Disney empire. Including the theme parks, the restaurants, and presumably even a haunted animatronic if it malfunctions and turns on you.

This is like saying, “Hey, I know your leg got crushed on Dumbo's Wild Ride, but you did use that Lion King meme on Facebook a few years back, so…”

 

Thankfully, the public response to this legal jujitsu was swift and appropriately horrified. After being dragged harder than a villain in a Pixar sequel, Disney eventually backed off and dropped their attempt to enforce the Disney+ clause. The lawsuit will proceed in court where, you know, actual justice happens. Ideally. Of course, Disney has a Space Mountain full of lawyers, so there is no way this guy will ever see any compensation, but the streaming agreement clause thing was thrown out so...WIN?

Now, let’s take a long, hard look into our magic mirrors (the judgmental kind, not the one that just tells you you’re pretty) and ask what this story really reflects. We all joke about how Terms & Conditions are unreadable. We scroll, we click, and we move on with our lives because, really (like Cinderella), who has the time? But when a streaming contract tries to sneakily ban you from holding a megacorporation accountable for something that happened in a completely unrelated part of the business. That’s not quirky or clever. That’s creepy. That’s dystopian. That's evil stepmother treachery. That’s… very on-brand for 2025, actually.

In the end, this story has everything: tragedy, bureaucracy, streaming subscriptions, and a lesson we should probably tattoo on our collective consciousness:

Never trust a giant corporation to have your best interests at heart. They will sell you a churro, kill you with it, and then argue you consented to it because you tapped your toes to “We Don't Talk About Bruno” while watching Encanto.

So next time you click “Agree,” remember: you might just be signing away your right to sue if Donald Duck ever breaks your kneecaps.

K - Karen - #AtoZChallenge

Mrs. Ballard swiped her debit card again and the gas pump still wouldn't read it. She had tried three times and even started the whole process over with the pump and it wasn't working. She didn't like using her credit card for daily purchases, but pulled it out of her purse anyway. It didn't work either.

She hit the HELP button, but wasn't getting a response. Looking inside the station, it appeared the cashier was engaged with a woman at the counter.

Frustrated, she pulled to another pump since the card machine was broken on the first one. Unfortunately, she had the same problem at the new one. And she still got no response when she pressed the HELP button. It appeared the customer inside was upset about something and had the cashier's attention. That's why he hadn't responded to the HELP call.

Mrs. Ballard was about to storm into the station when she noticed the PAY INSIDE button. She had forgotten about that option. She had paid at the pump for so many years, paying inside was a distant memory. She filled up her tank and headed for the front doors.

As soon as the automatic doors slid open, Mrs. Ballard could hear the woman in full rant screaming at the cashier.

"ARE YOU STUPID? HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE A DAMN CUP OF COFFEE?"

Mrs. Ballard stood far back to not attract attention to herself. She was in no hurry. She could wait until this ugly scene played out.

The cashier motioned toward the drink area and calmly stated, "As I told you, miss, the coffee station is right over there. We have three kinds of coffee including decaf and several flavored creamers. You can make it to your taste."

The customer seemed to be enraged by this and stuck her finger in the cashier's face as the spittle flew from her mouth. "AND AS I TOLD YOU, IF I WANTED TO MAKE MY OWN COFFEE I WOULD HAVE DONE SO AT HOME!"

"You are more than welcome to go do that." Mrs. Ballard was amazed at how well the cashier was keeping his cool and a giggle slipped out at that response.

The angry woman shot a look at her, but directed her hate back to the poor employee. "Are you going to make that coffee or not?"

The cashier stated definitively, "I am not supposed to leave the counter when I am the only employee in the store."

Mrs. Ballard decided to try to help. She spoke up as she moved toward the drink station, "I'll get your coffee. What would you like?"

She glared at Mrs. Ballard, "I would like some damn customer service and a little human decency."

"So, no coffee then?" and she went back to her place.

The front doors slid open and a woman walked in wearing the same uniform as the cashier. The customer immediately confronted the newcomer. "I guess now that there's a second person here, one of you can tackle the incredibly complicated task of getting my coffee." 

Since her path was basically blocked by a seething woman, she looked around her to the cashier and asked, "What's happening here?"

The cashier started to explain, but the customer cut him off." He refused to make my coffee."

"Well, I am sorry about that. I am the manager and I have instructed him to not leave the counter when he is the only employee in the store."

The manager edged her way sideways around the customer and walked to the coffee station. She started filling a large cup. "Would you like sugar or creamer?"

The customer was not finished. "So, is it your stupid policy to keep customers from getting served while you are out running around town?"

The manager stopped filling the cup and poured it in the sink. She stepped up to the customer and answered, "Customer service does not stop for the people who are smart enough to recognize that this is a self-serve station and not a restaurant. If you want someone to wait on you, go to a place that does that." 

The customer was aghast. "Well, I've never had such treatment. Do you know who I am? My husband is a well-respected man in this town."

The manager grew louder, "Well, it's a shame he couldn't marry someone who was the same. Get out of my store. We don't tolerate you crazy Karens here."

The customer stomped out with a few more words about her perceived treatment and sped out of the parking lot. The manager let her employee know how well he had done to keep his cool and sent him on break.

"I am sorry you had to witness that. How can I help you?"

Mrs. Ballard smiled, "It's okay. Not your fault. The card machine outside wasn't working, so I came inside to pay." She slid her card to the manager.

The manager grabbed the card and jumped when she looked at it, "Oh, I am so sorry. Karen Ballard. Your name is Karen."

Karen Ballard patted the managers hand, "It's okay, dear. There's good Karens and bad Karens. Just try not to judge us all by the bad ones. I don't think she was one of us any way."

---

 

All this month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. A new post will go up every day (except Sundays) using a letter of the alphabet as the starting off point. My theme for the month is literary genres. I am writing in a different genre of flash fiction each day. I don't know any genres that start with K and couldn't find any online, so today's letter is K for Karen.

500 Blog Posts

 Back in October of 2010, I wrote my first post and it has been quite a ride. Today, I am writing my 500^th post.

I started this blog because my daughter was dating a boy who had to do a blog for a high school project. He was telling me how much he enjoyed and that I should try it. So, I did.

 I quickly learned that I loved writing and had a bit of a knack for it. Since then, I have been published (sort of), and gotten married because of this blog. I've lived in seven different places in three different countries since my first post. I've had close to half a million visits to this page. It's been a huge blessing to me and I am so glad I started.

 Thank you to all of you who have read and participated.

F - Fairy Tale - #AtoZChallenge

 
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a handsome prince. The prince would spend his days riding his horse through the forest and enjoying the beauty of nature. He would go swimming in the lake and meet up with his friends in town to laugh and sing. He had a good life. He had an easy life. He was a very happy prince.

Except for one thing.

His father, the king, was growing older. The king kept reminding the prince that he needed to be married soon and start a family. If the prince did not marry, there would be no one to take his place if something happened to him. There always had to be another son to take the place of the father. Having no king, even for a short time, meant chaos for the kingdom.

The prince never looked his father in the eyes during these talks. "I understand, father."

"I don't think you do. It's not just what would happen IF something would happen to you. It is what WOULD happen. If you are king and don't have a prince son to be the next king, you would be in danger of someone getting rid of you to try to take your place. This is why the next in line must already exist. The good of the kingdom depends on it."

Despite the prince's promises to find a wife, the king began to search for the right woman to one day be queen. He reached out to surrounding kingdoms to inquire about their princesses. He sent word to the lords of his realm to ask about their daughters. Many were interested. Every week, a new announcement was made of an arriving caravan carrying a high-born father who was hopeful about the chance for his daughter to be the future queen and secure an alliance with their families. There were many women who wanted this honor as well. The palace was swamped with requests from surrounding realms to be invited to meet the prince.

The prince always attended these ceremonies and met with every princess and high-born daughter that had traveled to meet him. Some he did not like right away. Others he gave a chance, but a walk through the garden with them helped him realize he didn't want to spend years married to them. He tried to be fair, for his father's sake, but he just wasn't meeting a woman he liked. As the months went by, the king grew more and more impatient. All this pressure made the prince less happy every day.

One morning he saddled his horse early and rode off into the forest to enjoy a quiet day away from the disappointed eyes of his father. Deep in the forest, he got off his horse near a quiet creek to eat his lunch under a tree and listen to the birds singing. Enjoying the sights and sounds of the forest, he soon forgot his troubles and drifted off to sleep.

Soon, he was awakened by someone gently shaking his shoulder.

"Sir, sir, are you alright?"

He opened his eyes and saw a lovely woman standing over him. The prince was smitten immediately. "Who are you?" he asked with wonder.

"My name is Samra. I live just over the hill there. I came to get water today and when I saw you there so still I thought you were were hurt."

The prince was even more in awe at the sound of her voice. He stood up quickly to introduce himself, but his sudden movement startled Samra and she jumped back.

The prince realized he frightened her and started to apologize, but he got a head rush from standing too quickly and started to swoon. Samra immediately stepped forward to steady him. As soon as he felt her touch on his arm, he knew he was in love.

Not wanting to scare her off, the prince decided to play it cool and come back prepared to court her. "It was lovely to meet you and thank you for your kindness. I hope I see you again."

"If you ever come back this way, you probably will. I don't venture far from my home." She flashed him a beautiful smile as he whistled for his horse. He was soon speeding back to the palace to tell his father he had met the woman he was going to marry.

The king was not excited that he had chosen a commoner to be his bride, but training a commoner on how to be royalty was better than having no one as queen. He gave his approval.

The next day, the prince dressed in his finest silks and selected the strongest stallion from the stables. He wanted to display his wealth and influence to impress her. He armored forty aides to accompany him to Samra's house to declare his love to her.

Upon arriving at Samra's house, the aides and assistants lined up in two formations in her front yard. The prince, with his back straight and head held high, rode between the two perfectly-lined groups and called out her name. No one answered.

He called again.

Silence.

He dismounted and approached the front door of the modest cottage. He knocked and heard a feeble voice. "Coming."

After a few minutes, the door slowly creaked open and a frail old man stood in the doorway. "Oh, there are so many of you. What can I do for you gentlemen? Would you all like some tea? Let's see, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."

"I am here seeking Samra. Do I have the correct house?"

"Samra is my granddaughter. She's at the market right now. I hope she is getting more tea. Come to think of it, I don't think I even have more than four or five teacups. Oh, dear. Where are my manners? Come in. Come in. Oh, no. That won't do at all. I have only two chairs. Stay where you are. I'll be right back."

He turned around to head back into the house. "I'll start the kettle going. You're going to have to share cups."

Exasperated, the prince turned around and saw Samra giving apple slices to his horse.

"Hello, again," she said. "I see you've met my grandfather."

"I did. He is very hospitable." 

"Yes, he is. How can we help you?"

"I wanted to thank you for your concern yesterday and be honest with you."

Samra raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Did you lie to me yesterday? You really didn't say much at all."

The prince continued, "I am the prince of this land. You were helping the future king."

Samra nodded and gave the horse another slice of apple, "Yes. I saw the royal insignia on your sleeve. It wasn't as big and shiny as the one on your chest today, but I recognized it. No need to thank me. I was just asking if you were alright. I did nothing."

"But, Samra, you did everything. You are the loveliest creature I have ever laid eyes on and I have come to ask for your hand and make you my queen."

Samra smiled, "No. Thank you." She turned and headed toward the house.

The prince had never considered that his offer might be rejected. "Wait!"

Samra, almost to the door, looked over her shoulder. "Did you need something else?"

The baffled prince answered, "You don't want to be queen?"

"I don't know. I never thought about it. But I do know I don't want to marry a man I just met yesterday." She stepped inside her house and shut the door.

The prince rode slowly back to the palace with his head hung low. He hadn't experienced much rejection in his life and wasn't handling it well.

When the king heard the news, he couldn't help but laugh at his son. "This girl did not say she would not marry you. She said that she could not marry a man she didn't know. It was an invitation to court her. Go let her get to know you. Show her you are worthy of her hand. Then, she will say yes."

The prince realized his father was right. He would win her. Starting the next morning, the prince spent his days in the forest near her house hoping to run into her. Most days, he was able to see her and talk to her. They took walks through the trees and he occasionally accompanied her to the market. He would even carry her things for her.

One day, after spending several weeks together, she gave him a kiss on the cheek as he was about to depart. "Ah," he exclaimed. "You are beginning to like me."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Whatever do you mean? I have always liked you."

"You rejected my proposal of marriage."

Samra laughed. "Liking someone you just met and wanting to get married are hardly the same feeling. You seem like a sweet guy. That's enough for now."

The prince didn't like it, but he understood. "So, maybe we could get married someday?"

Samra sighed, "I love my life here. It is so peaceful and quiet. Keeping court behind tall walls sounds boring and stuffy. The clothes look so uncomfortable. Plus, I have my grandfather to take care of. He still asks when all my new friends are coming back to have tea. He had me buy more cups."

"Samra, your grandfather can come to live with us. We'll have dozens of servants to take care of him and us. Life will be great for us, your grandfather and our children."

She looked at him with wide eyes, "What children?"

The prince smiled from ear to ear, "The many children we will have. One will be a son that will be the next king after me."

Samra pulled away from the prince. "I've never really felt that I wanted children. And I certainly would never have a child who already had his whole life planned out for him. That is not a life for anyone. I don't think you should come around anymore. I will never be able do what you want me to."

The prince pleaded with her, but she would not budge. She was very polite, but tried to get him to understand they had very different goals in life. Plus, being royalty is not something everyone yearns to be. The prince went home defeated.

Weeks later, the king came to see him in his chambers to convince him to get out of bed and continue his search for a wife. But the prince didn't want another woman. He only wanted Samra. The king knew the fate of the kingdom was possibly at stake, so he sent for the old witch who lived deep in the woods. He was willing to do anything to get his son into a better mood and moving again.

The witch came and listened to the king's story. She claimed a simple love potion would solve this problem. She returned the next day with a small bag of powder and gave the king instructions on its use.

The king rushed to his son's chambers and explained what he had done. The prince was doubtful, but was cheered slightly to learn that there was still hope of winning the woman he loved. He left the palace that night to do as his father told him.

The prince went to Samra's house and sprinkled the powder on the windowsill of Samra's bedroom. The witch said the person sleeping in that room would fall hopelessly in love with the person who placed the powder. He did his job and went back home.

The prince awoke the next morning to a servant knocking on his bedroom door. There was someone here to see him.

When the prince came downstairs, Samra was there talking excitedly with the king. When she saw the prince she ran into his arms and started kissing him. The witch's powder had worked. Samra was infatuated with the prince.

The prince sent for her grandfather to move into the palace and joyfully started making plans for the royal wedding.

Everyone was in attendance at the wedding. Lords and ladies from all over the realm came to offer gifts and their good wishes. It was the event of the generation. Everything went splendidly.

Within a few months, it was announced Princess Samra was with child and the kingdom rejoiced. 

She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The prince could not have been more proud of his beautiful wife and son.

However, deep in the woods there was a disturbance among the animals. The old witch, who was very very old, had grown sick. She spent many of her days in bed and the numerous spells she had cast over the years were growing weaker. The animals she had enchanted no longer brought her the herbs and spices she needed for her spells. Some of these herbs were for making the potions she used to prolong her life.

Soon she grew too weak to rise and she died alone in the forest late one night.

At the instant of her death, all the power of her magic died with her. Samra awoke suddenly in the night in terror. She remembered everything she had done for the last few years, but had no idea why. All she knew was that she had been a slave trapped in her own body unable to say and do the things she felt. Her life had been a nightmare as she married this man she had previously rejected. Her body forced her to smile and wave at people who came to see the royal family in court. For years, she had wanted to scream as her unwanted husband bedded her. She had wanted nothing more but to escape, but her body would not cooperate.

She looked over at his sleeping body and felt the hatred rush through her as he slept there smiling. She didn't know how he had done it, but he was the cause of all her suffering for the last few years. The last time she was in control of her own body, she had rejected him. He had to be the one behind it.

She slipped out of bed and picked up the dagger on the table. She tiptoed back to her sleeping husband and slit his throat. His eyes opened and looked at her in fear and confusion as he clutched at his bleeding throat.

She raised the dagger above her head and shouted, "NO MEANS NO!" as she brought it down again and buried it deep in his chest.

---

 

All this month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. A new post will go up every day (except Sundays) using a letter of the alphabet as the starting off point. My theme for the month is literary genres. I am writing in a different genre of flash fiction each day. Today's letter is F for Fairy Tale.

This post was inspired by the idiot who has been leaving all the spam on the blogs I've been reading this week. The spammer keeps suggesting the reader contact a "spellcaster" to make your life better. She uses the story of how her cheating husband came crawling back to her after contacting this person. It disgusted me. This story grew out of that.

Recognizing the Good Things

Over the course of my life, I have been accused of many things. I will not even begin to list them here, but I will tell you one of the things I have never been accused of:

Having a lack of confidence.

Now, to be honest, I have always been filled with self-doubt but I faked confidence because I've always believed it made people take me more seriously. Unfortunately, I often went overboard.

Not to sound arrogant, but I'm pretty confident that I'm the hottest man living in this house.

— GigaBrett (@brettminor) July 22, 2019

As the years went on, I learned to dial it back a bit and come off as less of an arrogant jerk.

I used to think I was the smartest person in the world. Now…well, I still think that. I've just learned to not be so vocal about it.

— GigaBrett (@brettminor) May 28, 2019

I think the youthful arrogance has gone by the wayside for the most part and now I just quietly live my life, but occasionally I feel my pride starting to swell. The past month has been good for my ego. Or bad - depending on how you look at it.

About a month ago, the mother of one of my online students asked me to quit my job and become her son's personal tutor. She offered me an ungodly amount of money for my wife and me to move to Beijing so I could work exclusively with her son for the remainder of his school career. (He just turned 6 two weeks ago.) She would cover all moving expenses and living expenses and then pay me a very impressive salary. It took some work to convince her that I would never move back to China, but the offer really made me take some pride in my work. I can honestly say that I am good at what I do.

Since then, my wife and I have been asked by a couple of different parents to come to visit them when Vietnam allows travel again. I have been invited to Harbin and Tokyo and Red has been invited to Hong Kong.

Last week, our landlords from our previous house contacted us begging us to come back. They even lowered the rent about 35% from what they were asking when we moved out a year ago. They really enjoyed us as tenants and are sad they created a situation (significant bump in rent) that caused us to leave. Good tenants are difficult to find. Plus, now with COVID, things are even more difficult. It is nice to be wanted.

Finally, just a few days ago, our current landlords commissioned me to be their grandson's ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher when he turns two. He is currently six months old. Once again, it is nice to be wanted. And it really feels good to be recognized for doing something well.

In the midst of all the misery and difficulties happening in the world right now, it is important to sometimes stop and consider the things that have been going right. We've had our setbacks like everyone else, but a quick consideration of the good things as well is good for everyone. We still have plenty to be thankful for.

Now, I just have to get past one of the things I have been accused of many times.

LAZINESS

Why do people keep wanting me to do stuff? It's like they don't even now me.

— GigaBrett (@brettminor) May 29, 2019

R - Regret

Everyone has those things they regret. It may be words you wish you could take back, an action you did (or did not do), or a reaction you had to something. I know I have several of those. We've all had experiences that we may wish we didn't have to live through. However, there are always those people who like to say "Well, it is your experiences that made you into the person you are today." or "It was those things that led you to this place."

I don't really curse on this blog, but I have to call bullshit. I can't think of a better word today.

While it is true that the culmination of our choices lead us to our present and bad experiences can make us stronger (but just as often weaker), that does not mean we should have taken that path.

My biggest regret in life involved a five-month-long storm in my normally peaceful life. And while I can say that I definitely learned a lot from this experience, I will not claim that my life was improved because of it.

In my early twenties, I frequented a bar near my home almost every day. As a regular, I got to know one of the bartenders. With time, I got to hear more about her miserable life. She was in a relationship with a guy who was controlling and physically abusive. But if she left, she would have nowhere to go and with two small kids, she felt trapped.

Slowly over the course of a few months, her flirting with me began to work. I don't know how many guys she was feeding this line to, but I was the one who fell for it. I decided I was going to be the one to rescue her. I called a couple of my friends one day to get some help so we could show up at her house, pack all her stuff while her boyfriend was at work and get her out of there. She was coming to live with me.

The guys I called for help were the Crew. My closest group of friends. And all of them but one, said no. They would not help. They weren't busy, they just refused to be part of it. A couple of them even told me not to do this.

I did not heed their warnings. In fact, their reluctance to help ticked me off.

But it was more than that. One of them put his finger in my face and started rattling off all the crazy things we knew about this girl. He told me she would be a nightmare and the circumstances of our new relationship would make it ten times worse in the tiny town we lived in. Everything said was true, but it didn't make me any less angry. I would show him. This girl needed help and I would put up with the inevitable storm to be that man who protected her.

I brought her and her kids back to my house where I still had a roommate that I had not checked with first (he moved out within a month). He was one of the first casualties of collateral damage this decision caused.

The backlash was swift. She lost her job immediately since the bar was owned by the father of the man I had just "rescued" her from. Being a small town with barely a hundred people, it was also the only social gathering place around. And I was no longer welcome.

The gossip around town was in full force and we were the focus of all of it. To get ahead of it, she and I got married almost immediately. I married her despite the fact that she and I were having horrible arguments every day. However, I was determined to show everyone (and it was everyone) that they were wrong. And I chalked her moodiness up to the stress of what was happening around us. I told myself I was strong enough to do this.

I had no idea how bad it was going to get.

It turned out she was crazy. And I don't just say that because she is my ex. She was crazy. She would recount the story of an argument we had to her sister and lie about everything that happened. She would do this right in front of me. I learned quickly not to call her out on stuff in front of people because the scene that was caused was not worth it.

She would fly into rages and physically attack me. One time, while trying to deflect her punches, my finger must have caught her lip. Maybe. I really don't know what happened. She might have even hit herself. But she suddenly threw herself on the ground and started screaming about me hitting her. I couldn't see any mark, but I didn't get much of a chance to look before she locked herself in the bathroom. When she came out 30 minutes later, her lip was bloodied and swollen. I knew she had done something to herself in the bathroom.

The next day, I get a phone call from her sister. Her sister told me that my wife had shown up at her house in the morning to show what I had done to her. And the story was epic. It involved furniture flying around the house and the kids screaming to protect their mother while I locked them in their rooms. This story terrified me because I didn't know who else she was telling these stories to. But her sister assured me that she knew it wasn't true. She knew the kids had stayed with their aunt the night before and she didn't believe I would behave in such a way anyway. She told me that she had long suspected the stories she told about her ex were fabricated as well.

Oh, yeah. This whole thing started because I was rescuing her from an abusive relationship. And now she's running around telling people that I am doing those things to her. And I haven't touched her. I began to see her evil ex in a much more sympathetic light. I no longer knew what was true.

I have dozens more stories about psychological manipulation, complex webs of lies that she weaved through many people, enemies that she made for me, more physical abuse (she couldn't get upset without throwing a punch and she was always upset about something), her purposefully depriving me of sleep to punish me for something, and the loss of my friends who wouldn't come around the house if she was there.

It finally came to an end in the middle of one of those big fights. She loved to find what hurt you and focus all her attention on it. She fought dirty and never had mercy. She had pressed and pressed me since I got home from work and wasn't letting up. She had already thrown things and hit me several times and she started again with her cutting words. She stepped up to me with her fist cocked back and something snapped in my head.

I took a step forward reaching for her to put a stop to this. I can't honestly say what I was about to do, but it was not going to be good. I was in a rage and had had enough. But when I started to surge toward her, I saw a glint of glee in her eyes.

She had done it. She finally broke me and she knew it. I was seconds away from sealing the deal with whatever I was about to do to her. And once I did it, she would own me.

This entire realization came crashing down on me. Months of psychological and physical torture had worn me down. I couldn't take it anymore. She had pushed and pushed and pushed and was never going to stop. I knew that sooner or later, I would hurt her. A person can only take so much. I couldn't do this anymore.

I stepped back and felt this sense of relief wash over me. I was done.

Her anger stopped for a moment as she looked at me and I think she sensed what had just happened. Her face contorted into wrath I had not seen yet. She started throwing everything she could get her hands on. She tried to scratch out my eyes. She punched and bit me. I ran out the door and left in my car as the contents of our living room started getting thrown out on to the yard.

I didn't have a plan, but I knew I could never spend another unaccompanied minute with her. Who knows what she might try to claim I've done to her. Getting out of this relationship without further damage would require witnesses from this point forward.

I was driving around trying to figure out where I was going to spend the night when my phone rang. Since it was her, I wasn't going to answer and listen to her apologies. However, she left a voicemail saying that the excitement of the evening had sent her son into an asthma attack. She was going to the hospital. I suspected that this was not true. She loved using her kids as pawns for guilt.

I didn't know where she had gone, but I used the opportunity of her being out of the house to go change the locks. Before the night was over, she showed up with the man I had "rescued" her from. A few threats were thrown around (by her, not him) and just like that, she was living back in his house.

We were legally divorced a week later.

As bad as this situation was, believe it or not, I have not put the worst stuff in here. I have a limit to the darkness I will post on my blog. She is a deeply disturbed woman.

As with every other post I have done this month, I will wrap it up by telling how this person affected me and what I learned from it. Some of this is difficult to admit.

First, I severely damaged my reputation in that small town. That bar where I met her was the only place in town to hang out and meet people and it was permanently off-the-table for me. I don't live in that town anymore, but I'm not sure I would even be welcome there today and it's been over 25 years.

After coming out of such a one-sided controlling relationship, I over-compensated when I later got married. I was so determined to never be taken advantage of like that again. It took a few years to shake free of the baggage I brought into my second marriage. I was super-sensitive about any type of criticism toward me. I did not like to be questioned about anything. I almost wonder if it was a mild form of PTSD. It was a five-month nightmare and I did not come out unscathed.

My friends started coming back around once she was gone and they got to hear the stories about what went on behind closed doors. And I told them that I was hurt they abandoned me. They rightfully defended themselves. They hadn't abandoned me. I had abandoned them. And there was no reason they should be expected to have to sit in a room with a person they hated just to show loyalty to me. They were more than happy to hang out with me anytime she wasn't around. And it's not like I didn't know where they were. But she had worked to alienate me from my friends and I unknowingly let her do it.

They also reminded me that they had all told me to steer clear of her. None of them saw a happy ending to this and I had chosen to ignore them. That is the biggest part of what I take away from all this.

When everyone can see something except for you, you might want to accept that it is you who is blind.

I saw the warning signs before I got married. I saw a few of them before I even "rescued" her, but I decided I knew better than everyone else. And I mean EVERYONE. So many people were against us that I was determined to make it work just to "win" and shove it in their faces. I honestly believe that if no one had said anything, I would have backed out on my own before it was too late.

LIFE LESSON: If you have surrounded yourself with good people who you respect, then their guidance and opinions should carry some weight. Otherwise, why are they your friends?

Thank you to all of you who had my back. I am so sorry I did not listen.

---

This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.

O - Old People

This post is not about old people in general. It is about a very specific group of people. And them being older is not really the point. I just had to find a way to fit all my 26 stories into this month while also using all the letters of the alphabet. O was still open, so they got this spot.

Years ago I was the associate minister in a church and I had been preaching in another church down the road while they looked for their own minister. It was eventually suggested that maybe I should fill the spot and that is what happened.

Now, before I go any further with this story I want to give this disclaimer. That church was filled with a bunch of wonderful people. It was. I do not have any complaints about a single person from that congregation. Please keep this in mind as I tell my story.

The average age of the membership of this church was well over 60. It was an older congregation in a small town. I was a young, recently divorced father from a different denomination. I, honestly, had no business being the spiritual leader for this group of people.

They recognized that they were a generation away from the church dying and wanted new younger membership. However, they also wanted me to spend my days visiting all the older people of the church who just couldn't get out much anymore. I have no problem with this practice and met some wonderful people, but the hours spent sitting and drinking tea with people who had been already been Christians for decades are not growing the membership of the church. Which is what I was told they wanted.

I do believe those people should be visited, but it should not have been the bulk of my time as was expected. And second, it should not have been the sole responsibility of the pastor. That is one of the many reasons churches have elders. They have a much bigger spiritual responsibility than just sitting on the church board.

Next, any special events designed for community outreach received no support. No one ever resisted, but I got no help either. We hosted a kite-flying, weenie roast one day. This was meant to have the people of the community come to a free event and meet the people of the church. Bring a kite, eat some food and have some fun. I didn't get any takers for volunteers to bring potluck food so I brought stuff myself. My kids and I built a fire and laid out all the hot dogs, condiments, buns, paper plates, and chips. About three dozen people showed up from the community. As for the people of the church (who asked for community outreach events), only two people showed up. And they sat at a picnic table talking to no one but each other and me when I was close enough to hear.

On another occasion, we decided to have a special service mid-week for Flag Day (or another small holiday, I forget which). It was intended to be a short service with a patriotic theme. My kids and I got to the church early. We got everything fired up and waited. Not one single person came. NOT EVEN THE WORSHIP TEAM!!!

It was me and my kids sitting in an empty church.

In the meantime, I had stumbled into a new ministry field and had been working part-time in a tattoo shop to talk to the customers there. It was exciting and I was seeing positive results. I was even using the things that happened in that shop as illustrations in my sermons on Sunday mornings. And while everyone praised the work they heard about in this mission field, they still had to admit that their preacher worked in a tattoo shop. Which I understand. Sort of.

Almost everything I tried just flopped. Nothing seemed to work. I was starting to grow quite apathetic. One day after church, my family and I were leaving for lunch and I noticed as driving by the church that the cars of the members of the church board were in the parking lot. The church board was having a meeting, but I had not been invited. I immediately knew what that meant.

The following week, during our regularly scheduled board meeting, I explained the frustrations I had been having and admitted that I was not the person to be leading this congregation. I handed them a resignation letter. They all looked at each other and just accepted it. There were no questions, so I still believe my suspicions were correct. I was about to be dismissed anyway.

As I stated at the beginning, the people of that church were good people. I'm still friends with some of them today. But I was not the guy who should have filled that spot. It was a miserable couple of years.

My theme for this month has been to write about people who have affected my life and this experience definitely qualifies. I learned a lot from this experience. I had always been one to just put my head down and plow through something. Even before tackling a situation that looked like a bad idea, I would just decide I could figure it out or endure until it was over. That was not how I saw this before I got hired, but it turned into that.

Sometimes a situation is not a good fit and trying to force it only prolongs the inevitable. There were plenty of factors that made me the wrong guy for that job. Not just the age difference. And the longer I stuck it out, the worse position it placed on the leadership who had to deal with it. I'm sure they were not looking forward to firing me. Plus, what church wants to even have that as part of their history? Firing their preacher. I was happy to step down. It saved them the embarrassment and allowed me to go do something I was better suited for.

I am more discerning about the things I choose to do now. I've also learned that it is okay to be a little more assertive about speaking my mind. I don't have to just go along with everything. It was a huge learning experience and I am a stronger person because of it.

---

This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.

PSA: Stop Being Stupid! - (Take 2)

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an angry rant about the idiot lemmings on Facebook who just copy and paste everything they are told to. Click here for that rant.

That was about people posting that their timeline was missing people and this Facebook post could fix it.

Do you remember these posts floating around?

Well, now that I have educated the world about just how stupid that is everyone should know better, but apparently they don't.

Today, Facebook is flooded with these posts.

Now, before I get going, I want it known that I do not have a problem with any of the people who made these posts. They were told by one of their friends that they had received a bogus friend request and just chose to warn people that it was not them. They didn't know what was going on and just chose to share a warning. They got the same message the rest of us did and fell for it, but at least they didn't forward it on.

However, I DO have a problem with the people who sent out the private message to their friends that caused this panic.

I have received this message from 17 different people today.

SEVENTEEN!!!

And that is just so far. One of those came in while I was typing this post. It's not over yet.

Let's break this down a bit.

When I received the very first one this morning (before I knew this was going to be a big thing), I knew it wasn't true.

Now, I am not making this claim to say "Oh, look how smart I am." I am saying it because the message makes no sense.

The first line states that the sender received a friend request from me. So, at first, I thought they had. After all, that's what they claimed. However, as I continued to read the message, it was very obviously a message that they received and were told to forward. So, they did.

Now, it's bad enough that someone just forwards anything they are told to forward, but when I called the first person out on sending this thing, he responded in the same way as four other people responded later in the day.

ROUGH PARAPHRASE: I really don't know anything about computers, so…

Now, I'm sorry…but no.  You're not off the hook.

You may have told me you don't know anything about computers, but you are familiar with the English language. The message that these people sent to me and many of their friends includes the language "I actually got another friend request from you". This is not complicated computer lingo or industry technical jargon.

You may not know anything about computers or the internet or Facebook, but you DO know that you did NOT receive a friend request from me and you are sending me a message that states you did. That has nothing to do with your knowledge about computers. That has to do with your grasp of the English language. And I know you understand English because you followed all the directions included on how to copy and paste. However, you paid no attention to the content of what you were sending.

I said this in my last post about Facebook lunacy and I will say it again. Sending someone a message that contains content you know not to be true makes you a liar. Strong language, I know. But that is the definition of the word.

You did not receive a friend request from me, yet you sent me a message that claims you did. Why? Because someone told you to send it.

Let's put this in a real-world setting and try to imagine what the average person would do.

---

Let's say one of your co-workers walks up to you and says, "Hey, I have received three party invitations from you. I know they are not from you, but I thought you should know. Someone is throwing a party in your name. You need to let everyone else know so they don't fall for it."

You are shocked as to why someone would want to host a party and say it was your party. "OK. I'll let people know they should not accept invitations for my party since I am not throwing one."

Your co-worker says, "Wait. No. Don't tell people the invites from you are fake. Go tell someone you received an invitation from them and you know it was fake."

Now you are confused, "But I didn't get an invitation from them. You said you got one from me. When did you get it?"

The co-worker sighs. "Ugh. I didn't. Someone told me they received a fake one from me, so I'm trying to spread the word."

You cock your head, "So, why am I telling people invites came from me when they came from you?"

"Oh my goodness. Listen, they didn't actually come from me. They were fake. But Brenda told me that Charles had told her he had received some from her…for her party…that she is not actually having. Anyway, you better hurry. And be sure to tell everyone in the office individually to ignore any party requests from you. Also, they need to let everyone know to ignore any requests that are sent from them. Understand?"

"You are crazy."

---

That conversation seems more realistic. Why does logic and critical thinking just fly out the window as soon some people read it on Facebook?

 

PSA: Stop Being Stupid!

Today is my birthday.

Forty-seven years old.

And as someone reaching the justified "grumpy old man" status, I was met with something that made me grumpy as soon as I rolled out of bed and checked my Facebook. Although, honestly, this seems to happen more and more often lately.

It was one of these stupid Facebook posts. Maybe you've seen this one floating around.

I cropped out the owner of this account to save a little embarrassment

Here it is in text form in case you can't see the picture well.

I wondered where everybody had been!
This is good to know: It's ridiculous to have 200 friends and only 25 are allowed to see my post.
I ignored this post earlier, but It WORKS!! I have a whole new news feed. I’m seeing posts from people I haven’t seen in years.
Here’s how to bypass the system FB now has in place that limits posts on your news feed.
Their new algorithm chooses the same few people - about 25 - who will read your posts. Therefore,
Hold your finger down anywhere in this post and "copy" will pop up. Click "copy". Then go your page, start a new post and put your finger anywhere in the blank field. "Paste" will pop up and click paste.
This will bypass the system.
If you are reading this message, do me a favor and leave me a quick comment...a "hello," a sticker, whatever you want, so you will appear in my newsfeed! It WORKS!!

Please bring back my friend

I have been seeing this all over Facebook for the last weeks. I hadn't seen it for a few days, but it was back again this morning and now I have high cholesterol. It's time to speak up. Let's stop being stupid!

Before I get started here, if you are one of the people who has shared this status, let me take the time to personally apolog…nope. Nope. Nope. I can't do it. You should have known better. And this isn't about computer savvy. Pay attention.

Let me try to help some of you out there and maybe we can stop this lunacy.

Basically, this post states that the algorithm Facebook uses keeps you from seeing all the posts of your friends (or your friends from seeing you - there's a bit of discrepancy in the language used here).  There is some truth to this statement. Facebook does mess with your timeline a little. I understand that can be frustrating and wanting to fix it. This post claims to be the way to do so.

It is the people who actually believe the claims of this post who baffle me. Once again, no apology. Get a helmet.

Let's break this down a few sentences at a time.

I wondered where everybody had been!
This is good to know: It's ridiculous to have 200 friends and only 25 are allowed to see my post.
I ignored this post earlier, but It WORKS!! I have a whole new news feed. I’m seeing posts from people I haven’t seen in years.

The first thing that caught my attention was this claim that it works.

How do you know that it works? If you are just posting this on your page for the first time, you cannot honestly claim that it works. You have not seen the results yet. In fact, while you are pasting it in, you haven't even hit SEND yet and you are still telling all of your friends that this works when you actually have no idea or even the thinnest shred of evidence. That makes you a liar.

That may seem like harsh language, but it is what it is. Liar. How does it feel to have your britches constantly on fire?

I wondered where everybody had been!
This is good to know: It's ridiculous to have 200 friends and only 25 are allowed to see my post.
I ignored this post earlier, but It WORKS!! I have a whole new news feed. I’m seeing posts from people I haven’t seen in years.

For this section, let's look at the discrepancy in what this thing actually claims to do. The first bold statement claims that some people aren't able to see your post. However, the second bold statement uses language stating that you are not seeing other people's posts. Which is it? Is the problem with how you see your own wall restricting you from seeing other people or with how your posts go out to others and keeps them from seeing yours?

And if you think I'm being picky here, the writer mixes them up again a little further down.

Here’s how to bypass the system FB now has in place that limits posts on your news feed.
Their new algorithm chooses the same few people - about 25 - who will read your posts. Therefore,

Once again, does this algorithm limit what you see or limit what posts of yours your friends can see. These are not the same thing. Even if this thing did work (SPOILER ALERT: it doesn't), it would not fix both your's and your friends' walls.  The original author of this post couldn't even decide which lie he wanted to tell. But for some reason, many of you are willing to help him anyway.

Now, let's look at the most incredible part of this entire thing.

Hold your finger down anywhere in this post and "copy" will pop up. Click "copy". Then go your page, start a new post and put your finger anywhere in the blank field. "Paste" will pop up and click paste.
This will bypass the system.

The instructions direct you to copy this status and then paste it into your feed. And like a good sheep, many people did just as they were told. That is what is supposed to fix it. Let's look at this claim.

By the time you have done this and hit SEND, all you have really done is put up a Facebook status. Something you have done hundreds of times. You did not change any settings. You did not reset your account. You did not bypass the system (what system?). You did not rewrite any algorithm. You have done nothing but post a status. How, in the name of Sofía Vergara, could anyone possibly have believed that posting something on their wall would change their account settings.

Probably the same people who think sharing or liking a status will save a random baby who has cancer. 

I pointed this idiocy out to someone the other day and they told me I was wrong. He said I missed a key part of the message, but I said that I only missed that he was one of the idiots. He pointed out that the message asked the people who see it to leave a comment to get them added to the new list of people who will get to see their stuff (or you'll get to see their stuff - still some confusion there) in order for it to work.

Here is what he was talking about.

If you are reading this message, do me a favor and leave me a quick comment...a "hello," a sticker, whatever you want, so you will appear in my newsfeed! It WORKS!!

This is the same as the problem I pointed out above. How does someone leaving a comment approve them to be part of your feed in any different way than if they were leaving a comment before? In the end, you are still just posting a status and they are leaving a comment.

NOTHING DIFFERENT  OR SPECIAL  OR MAGICAL
HAS HAPPENED HERE!

…other than you are getting laughed at by the person who originally wrote this post to see how many people would fall for it.

STOP IT!

The only way to see certain people in your newsfeed more often is to be sure your settings are arranged the way you want them and interact with people on Facebook. Facebook does give precedence to the people you interact with more. But a one-time status, comment or like will have ZERO effect.

The people who believe and post this stuff are probably the same people who post the status claiming that Facebook has no legal right to the pictures they uploaded there. Despite the fact that using Facebook required agreeing to Zuckerberg's TERMS AND CONDITIONS (an actual legal document).

So, everyone, for the sake my happiness, don't be stupid. AND if you see someone else being stupid, please say something. They need to know…and be publicly shamed if you can arrange it.

Let's Make Another One

About five years ago, I moved to Indianapolis. It was not a terrible distance away from my hometown, my kids, and my friends, but it was far enough away that going home was a big enough undertaking that I didn't do it very often. Once every few months was enough.

After about my third trip back "home" I began to notice something.

Every time I was about to make a trip back to Mt. Vernon, IL, I would start getting excited about what people I was hoping to visit with, what restaurants I would eat at, and the fun things I would do. However, the trip was often disappointing because people wouldn't be available to hang out, some of the key people I was hoping to see at church that weekend weren't there, or one of my favorite restaurants closed. It just wasn't the same.

Despite having only been gone about a year, I could never recreate some of the memories I had of being there.

My wife had a similar experience when we went to visit the city that she had lived in for 12 years of her adult life. We were in Lewes, DE and were having trouble meeting up with people who had been a huge part of her life for over a decade. Connections were missed and even some of the reunions that were accomplished were disappointing for her. For her, like it was for me, it just wasn't the same.

Nostalgia is like that.

Those great memories of a place are just that. They are memories. They cannot be recreated. You have changed and the place you left behind has changed. Plus, every person you left behind did not just freeze themselves in time waiting for you to come visit. Their lives have all continued moving and changing. You weren't there for it. That does not mean you can never go back to your hometown or alma mater and have a good time, but it definitely means that you should change your expectations. You cannot recreate the past. Plus, you need to recognize that much of that thing you are looking back at has been greatly romanticized in your head over the years.

Those great nights of laughing with your friends were surrounded by days of doing laundry, paying bills, and racing to work. But we tend to forget those parts because they are not worth remembering. It wasn't just awesome all the time.

However, here's the great part about those great memories. They DID happen. They are wonderful memories and it is fun to sit and remember those good times…especially when it can be done with other people who were there.

Those good memories are not ruined because you go home one day and it's just not the same. The original events still took place. Your subsequent visit home did not change that. Your memories are great. Cherish them.

This may be a little hard to accept sometimes, but it is something that most of us fundamentally accept to be true. We may not like it, but we accept it.

But let's make one little change and people lose their minds.

To illustrate, let's try a little experiment. Let's revisit this idea, but this time instead of talking about your REAL life and REAL events that happened with REAL people, we talk about an old movie or TV show. Suddenly, people are unwilling to shrug their shoulders and say "Oh well, I guess you can never go home again."

No. Instead, they freak out.

"Why would you mess with perfection?"
"What are they thinking. They're just going to ruin it."
"Hollywood is attempting to destroy all of our childhoods!"
"This will destroy the franchise."

Do you remember the fury and outrage people felt over the all-female reboot of Ghostbusters?

 
All of these statements I gave above were made about this movie. And I've got news for all of you.

The original 1994 Ghostbusters movie still exists and has not changed IN ANY WAY from what it was before the 2016 remake was released.

Now, I am not defending the quality of the remake in any way. Maybe you hated it and that fine. Maybe you enjoyed it and that's fine too. But it has no bearing on the original. If you liked the original and hated the remake, my guess is that you still like the original. So, what's the big deal?

And let me remind you, this is outrage over something that is fake. Movies are make-believe. It's a story someone made up.

The same things have been said about other movie remakes:

Footloose 
The Magnificent Seven 
The Longest Yard
True Grit
Point Break
Carrie
Total Recall
King Kong
Bad News Bears
Death Race
The Fly
The Italian Job

All of these same things have been said about these movies. However, in the end, the audience either preferred the original or the remake or appreciated both. The idea that no one should ever touch an old movie is ridiculous.

But logic and common sense are thrown out the window as soon as someone considers redoing an old tv show also.

Your day is ruined because
they are remaking MacGyver?

Even if you were a hugely devoted fan of the old show (Magnum, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Will & Grace, the Muppets, X-Files, Twin Peaks, Full House, Roseanne, Queer Eye, Murphy Brown, etc.), how does them bringing the show back for a reboot or sequel or anything else hurt you or your memories of the show you are already a huge fan of.

Maybe the new show will be great and you will have a new set of memories and entertainment you can add to something you already love. GREAT!

Or maybe it will suck. In that case, (pay attention here) you don't have to watch it and it still hasn't affected how much you like the old show.

To illustrate the idiocy of this bad attitude, let's try applying it to another area of life.

Let's say that your grandmother made the most amazing apple pies. They were to die for. The whole family just drooled over them and couldn't wait for holidays when she would make them. Unfortunately, grandma is no longer with us and her apple pies died with her.

However, one day you are at the store and run into one of grandma's old friends and you are sharing a few memories of her and the apple pies are mentioned. The friend says, "She and I used the same recipe. There's several of us that use it. I'll send you a copy."

The following holiday, you walk in beaming and exclaim that you found gradma's apple pie recipe and made several of those special pies for the occasion. What would be your reaction if you heard these statements from your family?

• You did what? Why would you mess with perfection?
• I hope you didn't screw it up and ruin her old pies for everyone.
• Why don't we just leave the past in the past?
• Are you trying to ruin my childhood?
• What didn't you just try to make something original instead of copying what's already been done?

Those would be considered apalling statements and would never be said. The family would be excited to get to eat a piece of this pie. And if it turns out that it still wasn't as good as grandma's, the memory of her pies are still there and her pies were not hurt just because someone today tried to recreate it and failed. But if you actually were able to get it right, then they get the joy of eating and enjoying those pies once again.

These are easily recognized as ludicrous statements and are no less ludicrous when said about a piece of entertainment. Why would a writer/producer/movie studio not want to create a show that already has a previously established fan base.

But there's no way they can recreate
Tom Selleck's magnificent moustache.

There is no rule of etiquette that says you have to like everything that is created for the screen. Let's grow up and move on.

Can't We All Just Get Along

I saw a video on Facebook a few days ago that I just can't get out of my head. Here is that video. It centers around fur and veganism, but that is not the part I am interested in. Please pay attention to the point of her message. (Video is less than 2 minutes)

QUICK RECAP: This woman was viciously attacked online because in one of her videos some people thought the fur on her coat was real. It's not, but that is not the point. This woman is a certified animal rescuer. Has been vegetarian for over a decade and has dedicated much of her life to helping animals. As she states in the video, she stands in solidarity with the cause that her attackers are promoting. However, their method of hatred made her wish she didn't.

This animal-lover didn't want to be an animal-lover at that moment because of the nastiness thrown her way by other animal lovers.

That statement is why I can't shake this video. It is very powerful and she only scratches the surface of a major problem we have today.

This problem occurs in many areas, but it is the most obviously prevalent in political discourse.

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but the United States is very heavily divided on a number of issues: immigration, gun control, abortion, free speech issues, racial tensions, any mention of Trump, etc. And most people have an opinion about these and many other issues. And people should have opinions. That's what having a brain is all about.

On top of having opinions, we have the freedom in America to express those opinions and discuss them openly. Please do not take for granted how important it is to be able to do this. For the last few years, I have lived in a country where people do not have that freedom.

Seriously! Posting this image on social media inside of China
would have gotten me deported.
Much worse would happen to a Chinese citizen who tried it.

Having the freedom to be able to express our ideas and even be able to disagree with our leaders and each other openly is a wonderful thing, but there is a responsibility that comes with it. We all still have to live together.

I don't know if social media is to blame, but it is definitely the easiest place to see the divide. Many people love to post their politics on Facebook AND they are free to do so. Other people are free to respond to those posts whether they agree or disagree AND (once again) they are free to do so. However, way too often, civility and common respect for our fellow man gets tossed out the window. The person on the other side of our arguments is spoken to as, at best, an uneducated child. At worst, a sub-human Satanic spawn of putrid trash not worthy of using the same oxygen as the rest of the world.

I have seen many arguments unfold on Facebook that just make me cringe. Not at the ideas that are being expressed, but at the tone of language being used by two people who I know have been friends for years. I know of dozens of people who are no longer friends because they could not see eye to eye on some political issue and their vitriolic discourse toward each other eventually crossed a line that permanently damaged their friendships.

There have always been nasty people in the world. People who everyone avoided because they just could not handle being disagreed with. They got nasty if someone had a different opinion. We had a name for those people. They were arrogant assholes.

I don't generally curse on my blog, but that is the best word for this. Those people are assholes. They are. They don't have the basic conversation skills to have a healthy discourse about a topic when everyone in the room is not in total agreement.

It doesn't matter if it is about gay rights, gun control, abortion, immigration issues, tax reform, welfare or anything. If you are being an asshole about it to someone (even online), that makes you an asshole.

The problem today is that "the asshole mentality" is becoming more and more the norm. Due to the ease of finding like-minded people today (television, internet, etc), a person settles for cozying in with their tribe and just hurling insults at the other tribes. Actual discourse and intelligent discussion go out the window. And as the woman in the above video was saying, that method does not win people over. In fact, it does just the opposite. It makes them not only dislike you but take an even stronger stance against the cause you are arguing for.

I have approached many people who I politically disagree with solely because I saw them being verbally assaulted by someone who I actually politically agree with. I've seen people I love say vicious things to other people just because Obama or Trump or Clinton or Michael Moore or Brad Pitt or their mayor said something that they are ready to defend or condemn with their lives.

The worst part about all of this is that most of the time the hot-button issue of the moment is just the issue of the moment. In six months, everyone will have forgotten about it and will be on to arguing about something else. However, the relationship has already been damaged. It's not worth it.

I am not suggesting you avoid sensitive topics of discussion. Feel free to discuss anything you want to discuss, but do not be one of those idiots spewing venom at anyone who disagrees with you. And, this one is just as important, do not engage with those people who do. No good will come of it. Just walk away.