From Barbara's Belly Button to Janet's Boob

Back in August 29, 2011, I asked my readers for suggestions of things to write about. I have since covered almost every topic that was suggested to me. However, I didn't do them all. I was not too worried about this, but one of my friends has been hassling me ever since then as to why I still haven't written on his topic. In fact, he brought it up again today.

My persistent complainer has been Adam Elliott. He had asked me to write about the change in television content over the years. I blew him off again explaining that I would have to do too much reading before writing the post, but decided to tackle it tonight anyway.

Before we go any further, I want to make it clear that I greatly enjoy television. I don't watch a lot of it anymore because I just don't have the time, but I love Dexter, True Blood, The Walking Dead, and Sons of Anarchy when I do watch. Knowing this, hopefully as I start talking about this topic, I won't be considered a prude or sound self-righteous.

When television first came out in the 40's it was mainly used as a propaganda tool to get people to buy war bonds, telecast boxing matches and broadcast the news. Even the news was mainly a recap of the front page newspaper headlines. You didn't discover anything new on television that you couldn't read in that morning's paper. There was no discussion of the dangers of television content for almost twenty years, because there was nothing serious on television to discuss.

Technically, the Flinstones beat them
by 2 years, but that was a cartoon.

Today, it has been almost 10 years (2004) since Janet Jackson boobed us live during the Super Bowl halftime show. Forty years before that (1964), the most controversial and talked about thing on television was the show Bewitched, because for the first time a married couple was depicted as sharing the same bed. In fact, the only reason they were able to get away showing Darin and Samantha in such a suggestive position was because Samantha was a witch. Since she was not human and the show already openly displayed witchcraft, they thought they could get away with it because she was not considered to be human.

Despite that huge leap, the following year I Dream of Jeannie debuts on television and the network decided that her showing her belly button would be too racy. In every episode, they either filled her navel with putty or had her wear a skin colored covering over it.

It was during this period (mid-60's) that the head of the FCC called television "wasteland TV," because it had become a bunch of silly nonsense. What had once been envisioned as a way of better bringing information to people was now showing The Beverly Hillbillies, The Munsters, The Addams Family, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, My Mother the Car,  Green Acres, and Gilligan's Island. As entertaining as they might have been, they were in no way depictions of the real world. For the first time, television was recognized as being an escape.

By the time day time talk shows came around, they focused on bringing the audiences attention to an issue or offering assistance (sometimes useful counseling) to their guests. Today, these shows are to do DNA tests to discover which of the dozen men someone has slept with might be the baby daddy or to celebrate some other family's unbelievable dysfunction. If the family is messed up enough, they might be given their own reality show.

If you call yourself a 'family' channel,
should you really play this show?

Without even turning to cable, I can see more sex, drug use, and violence in one night of prime time programming than was on TV for an entire year when they started pushing the boundaries in the 1960's. Plus, now there is so much more to choose from. Then there were only three networks. Today, there are six plus literally hundreds of cable channels. Some of those channels, it is to be expected. However, when ABC Family puts a disclaimer before a show stating that it may have questionable material, I have to wonder why they use the name they do. I guess giving the warning gets them off the hook rather than just choosing 100% family suitable programming as their name suggests.

In 1951, I Love Lucy was almost cancelled before it even started because when it came time to film the pilot Lucille Ball was pregnant. The producers decided to go on with the show, but always keep her condition hidden from the camera. Years later, when she was carrying Desi, Jr. the network decided to incorporate her pregnancy into the show, but still forbid the use of the word 'pregnant.' Today, you can see outright sex acts on prime time network television. We are not shown full blown nudity, but very little is left to the imagination.

In 1967, the first curse word was used on television. Captain Kirk said, "Let's get the hell out of here" on Star Trek. Today, cursing is so common ABC has had two shows with the word 'bitch' in their titles.

• GCB - This stood for Good Christian Bitches, which they later changed to Good Christian Belles when it wasn't well received. Only a couple of episodes made it on screen. It was cancelled May 11, 2012.
• Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 - The 'B' stands for bitch. This one is still on the air today in its second season.

Although, I do not curse myself, I don't squirm at the sound of curse words. I love a good horror movie and watch television that would have given June Cleaver a cardiac arrest to learn the Beaver was watching, but I do recognize that a steady diet of this stuff is probably not good for my brain. There is definitely even more to consider when it comes to what children watch. I am not an advocate for saying that watching a violent show or playing a violent video game will cause someone to use a hatchet on the neighbor's cat or go shoot up the local mall, but I do believe that it is really naive to think that a steady diet of this stuff has absolutely no effect.

Whether you have a problem with this evolution or not, the original point of my post was just to point out the changes. They have occurred and things have changed. Considering how far things have gone, we are left with the question that many have started asking.

Since so much is allowed and we show more and more all the time, should the FCC even be regulating or censoring television any more?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Tattooed Preacher

Click picture for Shane's blog

This post is a response to one of the questions I received on my November 27th post when I asked my readers for things they would like me to write about. This question comes from Shane Morgan of In Shane's Brain.

What was the motorcycle ministry really like?

I have only very briefly even mentioned this on my blog before, but approximately five years ago while I was senior minister at a church, I started working as a professional piercer in a tattoo shop. This happened slowly over the course of several months.

I met the owner of this tattoo shop in my bowling league. At that point, I had only been in a tattoo shop once in my entire life and that was just to look around out of curiosity. After getting to know him, I dropped by his shop once to check it out. I quickly discovered that his clientele was a totally different kind of people than I normally crossed paths with in my minister job.

I started hanging out there more during the day to talk with people and built a few relationships with his regulars. It suddenly became apparent to me that this was a mission field not being reached in our area. I was daily talking with a lot of people who would never go seeking out a preacher. I felt drawn to reach out to these people. I soon learned that hanging out in the shop would not be enough to have a real impact.

In order to get to spend real time with them, I needed full access, so I started apprenticing as a body piercer. Piercing was only meant to be the tool I used to evangelize, but it turned out that I was actually pretty good at it. Within the next year, I resigned from my position at the church and bought the shop to do this as my full time ministry. It was amazing the credibility and respect I gained as a preacher just by walking into and living in their world. These same people would not have given me the time of day had I approached them on the street. In the first six months, we had over a dozen baptisms, saw two marriages healed, reunited a child with her parents and I counseled with several people every week. It was the most exciting and successful ministry I had even been a part of.

Since so much of our customer base was made of up of bikers, it was suggested we start a motorcycle ministry. Within a few months, I bought a Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide and no longer looked like a preacher. We founded a club called SONS OF CHRIST and started recruiting members. I was the chaplain and vice president.

We were very intentional in our presentation. We did not want to be known as a Christian group who likes to ride. We decided it was very important to be recognized as bikers first. We went to all the biker events we could get to. We regularly rubbed elbows with several 1% clubs, their support clubs and affiliates. In fact, our associations got us into some pretty hairy situations at times.

We began hosting our own events and the membership started to grow. We had a great group of guys and I loved every minute of it, but trying to build the club and running the shop at the same time was a lot of work and all the members were feeling the pressure. Pressure not only from the work required to maintain and build a new club, but pressure from other clubs that were beginning to take notice of ours.

We had already been forced to change the patch on the back of our vests because it originally gave the impression that we were claiming a territory despite the word HEAVEN rather than a city. These patches and their meanings are taken very seriously by clubs. I, personally, had received several death threats after an interview I had done for the local paper about our club and several of our members reported being followed by rival clubs when out riding while wearing their colors.

Eventually, we were approached by another club, who offered to absorb us into their club. I was not interested for a variety of reasons. The main one being that it was not a Christian club and there was a whole lot going on in that first meeting with them that I wanted nothing to do with. Being around when certain things are happening is one thing, but being part of a club involved in those activities gives me more association than I am comfortable with. I did still value my reputation. However, not everyone held the same opinion as me.

Debauchery aside, there were several advantages to being absorbed into an established club. There was a sense of protection. We would become part of a larger group making it harder to intimidate us. Another big draw was the fact that it was already established. It was not a brand new club that would require as much work. After several meetings and lots of discussion, our club decided to merge with theirs, despite my objections. In a matter of moments, the club I had co-founded no longer existed.

The club changing hands seemed to be the pivotal moment for the entire ministry. Almost immediately, overwhelming financial crises hit the shop, my partnerships dissolved, my customer base died off and I had to walk away completely.

Despite the abrupt halt and apparent crash n' burn, I still consider the experience to have been my most successful ministry. I saw a lot of lives changed and was blessed to get to help a lot of people. I still have many close friends from that adventure and don't regret resigning from the church position to follow this path.

"And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Acts 2:21 (NIV)

Everyone includes bikers, metalheads, punks, skaters, emo kids, scene kids, headbangers or any other group that would not stereotypically be associated with faith.

Let the Music Play

Click picture for Shane's blog

In my November 27^th post, I asked my readers to submit questions for me to answer. Today's question comes from Shane Morgan of In Shane's Brain. His question:

Have you ever ever been in a band or played a musical instrument?

He said that I was not allowed to count being a roadie in my son's band as having been in a band. Even taking that out of consideration, the answer to this question is still 'YES.' I was in a band for several years.

Waltonville High School band - Freshman year 85-86

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I had started playing the alto saxophone when I was in the 4^th grade. It was your average grade school band for the first couple of years. Then we got a new music teacher. The band that we had been happy with for the last couple of years was suddenly not good enough. I remember once after months of her strict instruction, we played better than I had ever heard us play before and it was a complicated piece. At the last note, I lowered my instrument with a big smile on my face. The teacher took a deep breath and blew a raspberry at all of us.

Despite how great I thought it was, she knew how good we could be and pushed us further. By the end of the year, she was getting compliments from instructors at other schools about how we were the best high school band they had ever heard. She proudly informed them that we were junior high students.

Under her tutelage, I received 1^st place at several state competitions. I enjoyed my saxophone and I was good at it. My 7^th and 8^th grade years, when we had to go over to the high school last period for shop class or Ag, I would skip class to go to band. I don't know how I got a away with it, but no one ever called me out on it.

As evidenced by the above picture, I joined the band when I reached high school. However, I can find no pictures of me in band after that first year. I have racked my brain and do not remember why I quit. I have a lot of high school memories, but can't remember this one. I was in band faithfully for six years and it just stopped for some reason.

Looking through my yearbooks, I do find evidence that I was involved with several other school organizations. Whether these interfered with the band or whether I just lost interest, I don't know.

Scholastic Bowl - Front right

Spanish Club - almost hidden in back row

If you look at these pictures and the organizations that I was involved with and wonder if I had to struggle to not be considered a nerd, I can assure you, there was no struggle at all. I was a nerd. I had earned that label years before and still wore it. Nerds are a bit more popular today than they were in the 80's. I guess we weren't that enlightened yet...well, I was, but no one else. I always knew I was cool.

I would show you pictures of myself from the sports pages of my yearbook if it weren't for the fact that I am not in any of them. There is a reason for that.

Freshman - 14 y/o

I did gain a little more popularity in my high school years and a lot more self-assurance. I started out as this → guy freshman year. I was just starting high school and had no idea what I was getting into.

I couldn't talk to anyone, especially girls. I did my best to live in the shadows and not draw attention to myself. I had poor social skills due to a lack of confidence and just wanted to get through each day without being noticed by an upperclassman.

However, over the next couple of years, things began to change for me. I began to open myself up more. I put myself out there. I learned that if I wasn't as timid, I was taken a little more seriously. My junior year, I even got up the nerve to ask a cheerleader to the Prom…and she said yes (which was the really amazing part). Incidentally, she was the first redhead I ever went out with.

Voted MOST TALENTED

I finished as this ← guy. No less a nerd than when I started, but I had come out of my shell quite a bit. I was even still in the stereotypical nerd clubs. I was on the Scholastic Bowl team, had joined the Journalism staff, was still in Spanish Club and was one of the leads in the school play/variety show. The only thing I was quit was band.

It seems that it was the saxophone that was holding me back. Once I put it down, my life began to change. Do girls like a guy in a band? Well, maybe if you play guitar. However, the saxophone is not so sexy. Just don't tell Ron Swanson.

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Sibling Perceptions

Deep in thought

This post is a response to some of the questions I received on my November 27th post asking readers to submit questions. This series of questions came from my brother Kyle.

There are a few questions I like to ask everyone I run into, at some point.

1. Have you ever eaten a grasshopper?
2. Have you ever eaten anything, while it was still alive?
3. Do you have a fear of picnic tables? If so why?
4. When and what was your feelings, when you realized your younger siblings could take you down.
5. Have you ever been so considerate of your neighbors, that you asked them to leave for the weekend, because you didn't want your party to disturb them?
6. Have you ever gone to Six Flags while your brother sat in a hospital room awaiting surgery... on his birthday?
7. Has your hair ever resembled the tsunami wave that hit the cost of Japan?
8. Have you ever come home and found your household cabinets rearranged?
9. What is your favorite family memory from your childhood?

At first, I thought about skipping over these, but then decided that I better tackle them. Whether they were meant to be a joke or not, he would call me out on it. So here goes...


Have you ever eaten a grasshopper?

Yes, I have eaten several. I've had chocolate covered grasshoppers and grasshoppers coated with a nacho powder similar to the coating of a Doritos chip. However, I believe Kyle is referring to one specific instance that my mother loves to tell about.

When I was very young (I don't know the exact age), I was bugging my mother for some food. She was preparing me something, but I did not let up in asking. I must have been very hungry...OR a whiny, difficult child. I don't know which. Once she had fixed my plate, she found that I was already chewing on something. As she got closer, she saw the leg sticking out of my mouth. Apparently, she was not filling my belly fast enough and I had found a dead grasshopper in a windowsill.


Have you ever eaten anything, while it was still alive?

The answer to this question (like most of the others) is 'YES.' I have written before about the time I ate live octopus, but I didn't have to leave the country to eat live food.

I was in high school when I heard about goldfish swallowing and just had to try it. It really wasn't a big deal. Pop it in your mouth and wash it down with some water. I did use fresh tap water and not water from the fish tank. I have also eaten live earthworms a few times. They were pretty slimy, and I will still choose the worms over okra every time. The fish was better.


Do you have a fear of picnic tables? If so why?

I don't fear them, but I do keep a close eye on them. The worst accident I ever had involved a bicycle, a picnic table and a poorly constructed ramp. Due to the events of that day, I was knocked unconscious, missed weeks of school and still have back problems 30 years later. I will tell the entire story in a future post.


When and what was your feelings, when you realized your younger siblings could take you down?

You should ask him about
the time he tried to fly.

I expect that when that day comes, I probably won't be too happy about it.


Have you ever been so considerate of your neighbors, that you asked them to leave for the weekend, because you didn't want your party to disturb them?

Yes, again! Always mindful of my surroundings and never wanting to be a hassle to anyone, I try to be considerate.

About 15 years ago, I lived way out in the country and had a small^* gathering planned.

*For this 'small' gathering I had rented port-o-potties and had a stage constructed in my backyard for the evening's entertainment.

As the stage was being built and the bands started to arrive, it occurred to me that I did have one neighbor. It was my brother Kyle and his wife. They lived close enough that we shared a yard.  Never one to be rude, I informed them (with a proper 4 hours notice) that there may be some revelry lasting past nine o' clock. They were welcome to attend, but might be more comfortable spending the night some place else. They chose to leave for the night.

Which was a shame, because they missed a great party.


Have you ever gone to Six Flags while your brother sat in a hospital room awaiting surgery... on his birthday?

I almost wonder if some of these questions were designed to make me look bad. Nah! I'm sure it's just me.

The answer to this one is 'YES!'

I did do this, but made great sacrifices to make it happen. Our church youth group was going to Six Flags for a summer trip. We had purchased tickets weeks in advance.

Six months
of lugging him around

Kyle, without thinking, has a massive bicycle accident during his birthday party days before this trip. He is hospitalized and enjoying some great drugs while I am left holding his ticket for Six Flags. While Kyle was getting to enjoy the wonderful psychedelic world of medical grade hallucinogens, I have to find another person to use his  non-refundable ticket. I had to make two phone calls before I found someone to use it. It was awful.

In all honesty, I don't even remember the events of that day, but Kyle has six titanium rods in his knee as souvenirs to help him remember. I have nothing.


Has your hair ever resembled the tsunami wave that hit the cost of Japan?

Hey, I looked good.
Although, I get the feeling this is not
the picture Kyle had in mind.

Have you ever come home and found your household cabinets rearranged?

I have written about how some of my pranks involved breaking into someone's house. Growing up in the same house as Kyle, he tends to think the same way on some things and this is one of them. He and a friend broke into my house once and rearranged the contents of all my kitchen cabinets.

I had no idea anyone had been in my house until it was time for dinner. Nothing was where it was supposed to be. I ended up just leaving it that way.


What is your favorite family memory from your childhood?

I honestly don't think I could pick one. I am not someone who can complain about my childhood. It was great. I have tons of memories of running around in the woods with my brothers, exploring the countryside on our bikes, hanging out with friends, coming up with and trying out new stunts and lots of other things. My parents provided a wonderful house to grow up in.

In The Beginning...

In my November 27th post, when I asked my readers to submit questions, I received a one about writing from Brandi Boddie of Penning Praises.

Her Question:

I've been reading your blog for a little over a year, but I wanted to know how you got started writing.

At first, I had a simple, quick answer for this question, but then it occurred to me that it is not as simple as I first thought. Honestly, my answer would have to be 'I don't know.'

My original answer was only going to address this blog. My daughter had just started dating a boy who showed me his blog. He had one as a result of a school assignment, but still maintained it because he enjoyed doing it. In his blog, he critiqued events that happened in pop culture. He gave his take on recent songs, dance crazes, movies, etc.

After he showed me around his site, he said, "You should start one. It's really a lot of fun."

So I did...it really was that simple. It was something to do. Why not?

That was October of 2010. It took me a little while to discover my voice, but once I did my readership started to grow. However, upon further reflection, I can't really say that was the beginning of my writing.

Everyone writes in school. There are pages and pages of things I wrote in elementary and high school that no longer exist. I don't even remember them. I really don't remember writing until my senior year of high school. That year I took Journalism. I didn't take it because I was interested in writing. I needed four English credits and really didn't want to take English IV. I had heard it was a horrible class and hoped to avoid it. Journalism would give me the last credit that I needed.

The class was awesome. There were only twelve of us in the class and we ran the school newspaper. It published once every two weeks. We were each responsible for filling two pages worth of material. That was it! There were no tests, nothing to study for, and no real assignments. Just write.

Tipping your hat to a lady:
What if it's a man in drag?

We each had our specialties. One person covered sports. Another paid attention to the various clubs. I was the entertainment editor. Which basically meant I did a movie review in every issue. Beyond that, I could write whatever I wanted and I did. Most of it was humor based, like the stuff I write now. I created one recurring feature similar to Dear Abby where I answered questions about proper etiquette, however I was also the person writing the letters. The questions posed to me were always some incredible, bizarre situation asking my advice on how to properly handle it. For a different article about how to convincingly feign sickness in order to stay home from school, I won a state journalism award.

I loved that class, but never really considered myself a writer. I put my pen down as soon as I graduated. My first semester of college, I was in a creative writing class. I didn't choose this class. It was required.

The professor made us keep a writing journal. On top of any other assignments we may have, we had to make an entry in that journal every time we had class. It was a totally open assignment. We could write a poem, tell a story, log what we had for breakfast, anything. I wish I still had that journal. I was really proud of some of the stuff that was in there. I lost it during one of my moves about 10 years later.

I loved that class as well, but for some reason never pursued an interest in writing. Once the class was over, I stopped writing. That was 1989 and other than the occasional letter from the mission field years later or required college papers, I never wrote again until I started this blog.

Now that I am writing all the time, I love it. I wish I had never stopped. I even have a few book ideas in mind. I don't know if I will ever get published, but at least one of the books will be written. We'll just have to see where it goes from here.

Is It Too Soon?

I am still working my way through the questions submitted from the November 27 post. Today's question comes from Misty of Misty's Laws. Click picture to visit her blog.

Misty's Question:

My question: What was the exact moment you knew you were in love with Red? When and in what circumstance did it happen?

Ok, another: If you found out you had 1 week to live, what events would you fill those remaining 7 days with?

I will answer the second question first since it is simpler. I really don't believe there would be any events that I would want to pursue. I would want to spend the time with family. I would want to see my parents, brothers, children, Red, and whoever else I may have time to visit with that have been prominent parts of my life. That's it.

As for the first question, I know exactly when that moment was. I don't recall the date, but I remember the conversation. I didn't say it during that conversation because I thought it was too soon and didn't want to scare her off, but I knew.

Red and I had only met face to face twice at this moment. That may seem extremely fast, but we had been in communication for a few months. Despite having only been in her physical presence a couple of times, I had a very good grasp of who she was.

When I proposed to Red in the comment section of her blog about Valentine's Day as a joke and having no idea it would ever become anything more, it sparked some conversation and playful back and forth. Knowing the girl in question was all the way in Delaware and there was no chance I would actually meet her, I was free to just be myself and flirt openly. What's the harm? She is clear on the other side of the country.

After weeks of commenting back and forth in the blog comments, we finally started emailing. That's when it got more interesting because we were having private conversations. We could open up even more. There was no love yet, but the interest was growing. The great part about this was that I hadn't even seen a picture of her yet. I was beginning to fall for someone I had never laid eyes on. It was all based upon her and who she was. Soon afterward, the phone conversations began and the swoon effect was beginning to take shape.

We finally meet face to face in May. It was a little awkward at first, but we got through it and decided to meet again. More relaxed this time, we were much more able to enjoy each other's company. A few days later, we were talking on the phone and the conversation shifted to what must be wrong with each other.

We were intentionally trying to come up with 'red flags' about each other - warning signs that could signal future problems. It was during this call that I brought up a concern I had. I have been divorced twice. I have mentioned it on my blog a couple of times and at that point, Red had been through my entire archive. I was aware that she knew this, but had never asked about it.

Now, I will not reveal the details of her response because it gives away more than I am comfortable sharing, but she explained her outlook on my divorces. I got choked up and the words "I love you" almost escaped from my lips. I held back for fear that it was way too soon to say those serious words despite knowing that it was true.

The next time we saw each other, she said the words. I smiled and dropped my eyes and she began to explain. She knew it may be too soon to say it and she hoped I wasn't freaked out by hearing it, but it was true and just had to be said. I cut her off and explained my reaction. She had just said it before me.

Misty, I hope that answers your question. It didn't take long once we actually got to meet, but we had plenty of time to build it up before then.

Fear Factor

I am still working my way through the reader submitted questions resulting from my November 27 post. Today's question comes from Kianwi of Simply She Goes. Kianwi asked,

I would like to know what you are afraid of, big and small. Also, have you conquered any fears in your life?

I really didn't have to think about this one. I know exactly what my biggest fear is.

In a recent post, I addressed my views on death and explained that I am not afraid of dying. However, my biggest fear is related to this topic. Actual death is of no concern to me, but the process involved to get there I find very scary.

I mentioned in that previous post that I obviously would not want to experience a painful or prolonged death. That would not be fun and I am sure would be quite miserable, but the specific thing I am scared of is death by old age.

Get outta my yard!!!

I am not scared of aging. I look forward to getting gray hair. I think it makes a man look distinguished. I am not disturbed when I find a new wrinkle in my face. I am old enough that I can start to feel my body break down and I joke about it. I have many good years ahead of me and I fully believe I will be an awesome old man. However, one day my body will be spent. That is what I am scared of.

I am terrified at the idea of spending the last few years of my life stuck in a bed hooked up to machines keeping me alive. I fear slowly withering away in a nursing home. I am scared that I will not be able to communicate my thoughts to my loved ones or caretakers. The idea of existing and not being healthy enough to do anything is the scariest thing I can imagine, especially if my mind has gone. I pray that I will have at least enough presence of mind to be able to refuse treatments that will just prolong the inevitable. Once I have reached that point, I will be ready to go.

I watched my grandmother slowly degenerate as her mind slipped further and further away. She was miserable and even expressed that until she was no longer able to communicate intelligibly, but she held on for several years. I remember the huge sense of relief I felt when she finally passed away. It was difficult to lose her. I loved my grandmother, but it was finally over for her.

I do not want to experience that. At least, not for a prolonged period of time. My children have been instructed that when the time comes that it is known there will be no recovery to let me go. They are not to authorize treatments that will just prolong my time in a bed. Hopefully, when my time comes, it just happens. Heart attack, car accident, alien invasion, something that will just end it.

That is my big fear. My smaller ones are harder to identify. I am not scared of physical things (except a praying mantis). I cannot point to something and say that I am scared of that. I am not scared of public speaking, snakes, heights, water, clowns, spiders, midgets or anything else I can think of. I'm just not a fearful person. I travel into parts of cities I have been told to stay away from. I can walk down dark alleys despite the obvious dangers. I just don't fear much.

I am not trying to suggest that I am fearless and just don't get scared. If a bear came after me in the woods, I would be terrified. However, that does not mean I am scared of bears. It is just recognition that I am in danger. When I got mugged in San Juan, I was scared, but it didn't keep me in the house the next night or even off that same street.

As for fears I have conquered, they are mostly social. I was an awkward nerd in high school and was scared of things like girls, crowds, jocks, girls, being spoken to, people my age, people older than me, girls, etc.

I just didn't interact well with other people, mostly because I owned the labels (nerd, dweeb, geek, loser) that I had picked up years earlier. I allowed it to define me and became more comfortable in the shadows, especially at school where they understood my place as well as I did. My senior year I began to come out of my shell a bit and soon realized that some people might actually like me if I took the effort to show them who I was. I also learned that if someone didn't like me, that was OK. Fast forward to today when I have fully embraced this philosophy and just don't care what anyone thinks and there are even more who don't like me.

Fortunately, most^* people seem to like me so it works out.

Most means most (not all). Because of how wonderful and perfect Red seems to think I am, I have trouble convincing her that there are some people out there that do not like me.

A Father's Dreams For His Kids

On November 27, I asked my readers to submit questions for me to answer. I received several questions and have been making my way through them.

This question came from Red's sister, Hestia (not her real name). Since Red likes to remain anonymous online, her family connections are anonymous as well. I have met Hestia one time and she recently became a reader. I assume this was to check out who this guy is that has been after her sister. I don't know how much Hestia has dug through my archives, but hopefully this blog has been a decent representation of who I am. Or maybe not. I am not really sure which would be better. Hopefully, at least the post where I promised not to chop her sister into pieces with an axe will give me some credibility.

Her question:

Since our daughter's are about the same age, What is your greatest desire for her future after living with Dad? Also, if it won't cause trouble with her, what is one of your "OMG, they're just like me" stories about your kids?

My hopes and aspirations for my daughter (both my kids) are pretty simple. I want them to be happy. I am not concerned with accomplishments, what they do for a living, how many kids they have or where they live. If Kirsten marries, I pray that it's to a great guy that will treat her well. Whatever she chooses as a career, I hope she enjoys it and works hard at it.

My biggest hope when they were children was for them to give their lives to the Lord. They have done that, so now I just pray that their lives are happy. That's it.

As for stories about how she is just like me, I have really had to dig back and think.

Kirsten appeared to be an adventure-seeking daredevil like me until she was about seven years old. She wanted to ride the roller coasters. She climbed the biggest rocks and tallest trees. She would jump off the roof into my arms and just seemed to have no fear.

When Kirsten was 5 years old, we drove to St. Louis with my mother to coat my grandmother's roof. While Mom and I were on the roof working in one corner, Kirsten came up the ladder and asked if she could stay. My mother really didn't like her being up there, but since I allowed it she didn't say anything.

Kirsten soon began to notice how nervous my mother became when she wandered too close to the edge. After one of my mother's outbursts to get away from the edge, Kirsten ran right to the corner of the roof and said, "Grandma, I'm fine. Look!" She then leaned over the edge and lifted one foot with her toes hanging over the side.

In that instance, I would say she really imitated the type of behavior I did as a child. However, today she is much different. Physically, she likes to play it safe. Creatively, she will take chances. She is much more artistic and creative than I am or ever have been.

Mentally, I see her struggling with many of the same things I dealt with as a teen. Her mind works differently than most people's. I was the same way. As a teen, I thought I was smarter than everyone else. Now, I realize that I just look at the world differently. Not better, but different. Kirsten still struggles with trying to decide how much of her thought process to divulge to other people knowing that it will probably not be understood or appreciated. I still think in the same way, but over the years have learned how to navigate conversations and read other people better.

I believe most people develop these tendencies over the years as they learn how to censor themselves to promote better acceptance. Unfortunately, it gets in the way of really getting to know others and hinders the thought process as we try to conform to socially acceptable modes of belief, mental process, behavior, and thought.

Hopefully, I am explaining myself well and am not appearing to be arrogant. I am always concerned that I appear conceited when trying to illustrate this for others. Probably because arrogance was my attitude for a long time. Kirsten has expressed the same concern when she has talked about it with me. I believe the way we perceive the world to be the thing we have the most in common.

Hopefully, she learns to embrace this and use it to her advantage quicker than I did. Suppressing it too much will keep her from expressing herself and hinder her relationships and achievements. Looking down on others for not seeing things in the same way will alienate her from people. I have my fingers crossed that she finds the balance quickly.

In the meantime, like me, she is very happy and always has been. She has a positive outlook on life and is ready to tackle the future. She is more socially reserved than myself, but that is probably a good thing. Now that I don't care what anyone thinks, it gets me in plenty of trouble. She isn't there yet.

What Would You Change?

On November 27, I asked my readers to submit questions for me to answer. This post is to answer the question posed by Good Youngman Brown.

How do you feel about death/dying?

If you died this very second, what would be your biggest regret? Biggest success?

These are some deep questions and I am not sure that I have the answers to the second part even after days of careful reflection, but I will try. Let's tackle these one at a time.

I am not scared of dying. Not even a little bit. I know a lot of people say this and I can't speak for them, but I mean it. I may be scared of certain ways of dying. I obviously would be terrified of being slowly swallowed by an anaconda or being trapped in a burning building, but it is the pain associated with that kind of death that would scare me. The death itself does not scare me

I don't bring up my faith on this blog very often, but this question goes right to the heart of it. I know without any doubt what I will be doing after death and it is nothing to fear. I have given my life over to Jesus and declared him as my Lord (Boss). Through following him I have been forgiven of my sins (there have been a lot) against God and other people. Being cleansed of my sin, I can stand in the presence of God in the place He created for me. I am not on a suicide mission, but I can't wait to get there.

That question was the easy part. The second half is the portion I have really struggled with.

REGRETS

• I hate that I have been divorced twice. I despise that as being part of my past. I wouldn't want to just write the past off, but there are many, many regrets associated it. My first marriage was a five month long nightmare that should never have happened. My second was happier at times, but was filled with mistakes, dishonesty, lack of trust and hurtful words on both sides. I have many regrets tied to the entire experience.
• I often reflect on the fact that I am over 40 years old and never gotten my act together career-wise. I have jumped from job to job my entire life and haven't gotten anywhere. I believe that I've finally found my focus and am on track for the first time in my life, but due to past experience I have little confidence that I will stick with it.
• This one is more reflective contemplation than regret, but I look back at how I raised my kids almost daily. Did I do a good job? Did I spend enough time with them? Were they aware of how much I loved them? Despite the turmoil of my marriage, did we provide a happy home? Have I provided them with the tools they will need to survive in the real world? Was I supportive of their dreams or did I crush their spirits? Did I provide the proper balance of discipline? Was I too lenient? Did I mold them into happy, productive, functioning members of the adult world? These are tough questions.

SUCCESSES

• I am proud that I finally completed my degree. I didn't get that piece of paper in my hand until 14 years after I started it, but I got it.
• I am happy that despite whatever other mistakes I have made with my children, they are happy and know how to enjoy life. I am a very positive and happy person and I love that it seems to have rubbed off on them. Their lives will be much easier simply because of that positive attitude.
• My proudest accomplishment is in knowing that my children love the Lord and their eternities have been secured. The most important decision that could be made in their entire lives is already behind them and nothing else matters nearly as much. If I were to die today, that part has been taken care of and we will all see each other again.

This was a hard post to write and I was choked up through most of it, but self-reflection is a good thing. Thank you, Youngman Brown for the questions.

Why I Want To Teach

Two days ago, I asked my readers to pose questions for me to answer. That post and their questions can be found here. Rachel of When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep asked me five questions. I addressed four of them yesterday and will be tackling the last one today.

Rachel asked me why I wanted to be a teacher. This same question was also asked by Brandie Boddie of Penning Praises back in August 2011 and I never properly addressed it.

Addressing flood relief workers
in Eastland, Texas

For the last 15 years, I have been a teacher in some capacity. Whether it was through jobs I've had, working at my church, summer camp or volunteering somewhere. I have taught kids and adults. I am often asked to lead meetings at my places of employment. I am usually the one who gathers information to share or teach to the other employees. In 1990, before people had the computer familiarity they have today, I was put in charge of the college computer labs because I had a talent for helping people understand what needed to be done. These are practices that have been part of who I am since I left high school.

When I moved to Puerto Rico in 2001, my job had two primary responsibilities. I was the pastor of a church and the administrator of a school with over 300 students. During this time, I taught on a regular basis and loved every minute of it. However, for some reason, it never occurred to me to become a "teacher."

A couple of years ago, when I moved to Moweaqua to finish my degree, I immediately sought out the minister and youth minister of my new church to introduce myself and get myself plugged in so I could start working with people and begin teaching. This was just a natural train of thought for me, but I still wasn't thinking of teacher as a profession.

It wasn't until my last semester of school that I finally figured it out at forty years old. I was reading a magazine article about the age of most public school teachers. According to this article, almost a quarter of today's teachers will be retiring within the next 10 years. As I continued to read, something stirred inside me. Over the course of the next couple of days, I continued to think about this article and began looking up more information. It was slowly occurring to me that I was built for this profession. By the end of the week, I couldn't figure out why I hadn't made this decision years before.

I started the process at school to be able to transfer to a school of education as soon as I graduated the following semester. I got my Bachelor's degree at Lincoln Christian University and started on my Master's at Greenville the next year. I have made a couple of changes since then as I try to decide exactly what I want to teach, but teaching has stayed at the center of my education.

I started out with the intention of being a high school math teacher since I am good at math but was never really excited about it. I have since veered away from the public school focus and am pursuing a degree in ESL. (English as a Second Language) This will combine my love of teaching with my passion for missions and interacting with people of other cultures. ESL is also the second largest job in demand worldwide. Not only will I be in a field that I love, but in this competitive and difficult job market, I have an excellent chance at finding work.

Ideally, I would like to work in a university setting, but I will see where this takes me. I expect to graduate in May of 2014.

Let The Questions Begin

I took a bit of a chance on my blog yesterday and opened it up for questions from my readers. You can see that post here. I should have done this at the beginning of the month since I have been struggling for things to write about as I accepted the NaBloPoMo Challenge to post every single day this month. Nevertheless, I have enough blogging material to last me for several weeks. If you would like to submit a question, I am still accepting them. Ideally, it should be left in the comment section of the original post (click HERE), but if you leave it on this post, I will try to remember where they all are.

As I sifted through all the questions that came in today (including several from my brother intended to embarrass), I decided that I will tackle them in the order that they are listed.

The first question was a series of questions from Rachel at When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep.

1) I don't know too much about how you and Red ended up together. I know it was a joke about an internet fiancé but I don't know how that started or anything. Would you give me one of those 'how we met' stories?

2) Did you ever expect to have over a hundred followers?

3) What is your favorite holiday tradition, for any holiday?

4) I think you said you want to be a teacher? How did you know that was what you wanted to do? (That first question mark is because I'm not sure if I remember correctly.)

5) You said that you've owned all sorts of animals (and eaten them). Are there any animals that you wouldn't own by choice or that you're scared of? Also on that note, what/who has been your favorite pet?

Question #1: Red & Brett - The Red and Brett story has developed over the course of several months starting last February when I proposed to her in the comment section of one of her blog posts. Yes, it was intended to be a joke, but it sparked a conversation that never stopped and eventually led to us meeting in real life and I have since fallen in love with this wonderful woman.

I have recapped this story several times over the course of the last year, so I will not do it again here. However, if you want to take the time to learn the story, Red has made a separate page on her blog that lays it all out and includes links to the various posts where keys parts of the story either happened or are explained. You can find the full story by clicking The Saga of Red and the Transformed Nonconformist.

Question #2: 100 followers - When I first started this blog, I never really thought about what it could become. I just started doing it. I thought it might be fun and I was right. At first, my only readers were the people that responded to my pathetic begging on Facebook for my friends to come read my posts. I actually used to send out a Facebook message to all my friends to come read. I think they are happy that I stopped that practice.

Stats since I started

My blog existed for over a year before it started getting any type of following. Last December, I only had 452 page views for the entire month. My blog was 15 months old at that time. After 15 months of stagnation, it suddenly took off. The numbers went up. More people found me. My followers started accumulating. I became part of a blogging circle of friends that I communicated with on a regular basis. Knowing other people were reading made it that much more fun.

I never thought about how many followers I could have until I actually started to get some. The first numbers goal I have set for followers just came recently. Red is still not a follower, but says she will be if she can have the #200 spot. Now I have a goal to shoot for.

Question #3: Favorite holiday traditions - This one is difficult to answer. While my family has had their traditions, I have no problem with letting them go. It doesn't bother me to not participate in something that I have always done. This is nothing against my family or memories of these traditions. I am just not a very sentimental person.

I love getting together with my family on the holidays. Just sitting, laughing, eating and telling stories is probably my favorite part of any holiday. However, even that has changed over time. I have gotten older and have a family of my own now. My parents have moved to Florida, so I don't go to their house any more.  My kids are almost grown and I am divorced, which means holiday time with the kids gets split up between parents. I'm not complaining. We have a system that works for us and we never really have scheduling issues or disagreements. It's just different now.

Question #5: Pets - There are many animals that I would choose not to own, but much of that is based upon my ability to take care of them. Who can say they have a pet rhino? No one I know, but if I had one where would I put it and could I afford to feed it. Would the neighbors complain if he got loose, trampled their dog and made a hole in their kitchen wall?

There are animals that I am scared of or would be if I ran into them in the wild. However, if given the opportunity to have a bear, lion or tiger cub, I would take it. I would raise it and love it and play with it until you saw my story on the news about a man being mauled to death by his pet bear (lion, hyena, hammerhead shark, Komodo dragon, naked mole rat, whatever). I do have a goal to own a monkey at some point in my life. That should give me plenty to write about when it finally happens.

My favorite childhood pet was a beagle mutt named Snoopy, but that is all I will share about him for now. I will be participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge in April and have started planning my posts. I intend to post 26 quality pieces and that dog will be the subject of my April 22 post "S" is for Snoopy.

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You may have noticed that I skipped question #4. That was intentional. I believe that question will require an answer of more depth. I intend to address it in tomorrow's post all by itself.

Once again, if you would like to submit another question for me to answer, leave it in the comment section here or in the original post (Let's Dig A Little Deeper) that started this.

Let's Dig A Little Deeper

Red and I had an incredible Thanksgiving weekend. You can read about her take on part of the weekend here. I loved that we got to spend an entire 4 days together, even if I did have to sleep through a large portion of it. My favorite part of the weekend was the drive from her parents' house to my house on Saturday night.

We were almost an hour into our trip when we pulled into a rest area. I ran inside to use the facilities and when I hopped back in the car, I asked Red to tell me story about herself that I hadn't heard. She thought for a moment and told me a story from her teenage years in India. Of course, when she wrapped up her story, she asked me to do the same. For the rest of the trip, we intentionally pulled out stories about ourselves that had not yet been shared with each other.

Red and I have never had trouble finding things to talk about, but this was different. It really gave us more insight into who the other person was. We talked about our childhoods, past relationships, family connections, holiday traditions and dozens of other topics. It was a great trip and I really appreciated getting to know even more about her.

I enjoyed this so much, I decided to extend the idea here. Some of you are new readers and others have been reading for a while. A few of you have been here since the very first post. I try to share my life in my posts, but as the owner of this blog I select what does and does not get said.

I would like to open myself up further to my readers. Is there anything you would like to know that I have not covered? Have I addressed something in a post that you would like further explained? What questions do you have for me? Leave your questions in the comment section and I will start addressing them. I will be sure to link back to your blog (if you have one) when answering your question.

I do ask that any questions submitted be respectful. I also have the right to decide that a question may be too personal and not something I want to share. Also, if you are a blogger and would be willing to receive a question from me on your blog, please indicate so in your comment.

Some questions may be answered with short answers, so I may answer several questions in a single post. Other questions may require an answer of more depth and will require an entire post. I will try to give adequate attention to both.

I'm excited to start this.