As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
Before moving to Indianapolis, I had a job as a courier (which is just a fancy word for deliveryman). I mostly delivered office supplies, but I had a few contracts that involved me delivering blood for the Red Cross and the occasional biopsy sample for a medical firm. The office supplies were always delivered around town, but when I had medical deliveries, I was on the road for a while.
He quit talking to me for some reason.
I usually had to deliver to St. Louis (90 miles from my house), but I didn't always make the pick-up in my hometown. Sometimes, I had to drive for a few hours to even get the product. These trips varied from 180 to 450 miles round trip. In addition to these trips being long, they were always done in the evenings after I had already gotten off my regular route. For this reason, I was usually tired before I even started the trip and often needed help staying awake. And as much as I love caffeine and its glorious side effects, there is only so much coffee and Mt Dew a person can drink before it begins to revolt against your system.
Apparently, it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving and my Candy Crush scores tend to suffer when I can't give the game my full attention, so I am always looking for ways to pass the time. On road trips, this is not an issue because I can pull over at any time to look at anything that catches my eye. When making deliveries, I was on a schedule. It didn't take me long to learn that texting passed the time fairly quickly.
NOTE: My phone is voice activated and the texts are read to me over my stereo system. So, I am not looking at my phone. My eyes are on the road. Sometimes I drive with my feet to entertain myself, but I am always looking at the road.
Recently, while going through my phone, I found one of those texting conversations. It was getting late and I needed someone to talk to. So, I shot a text to my brother Kyle. It turned out he was on the road also and even had other people in the vehicle with him, but I was not deterred. Despite the fact that he didn't stay in the conversation for very long, I tried to keep it going since I had an audience.
That conversation is included on the right.
→→→→
I didn't feel bad about it. Kyle has a long history of trying to tie up people's time on the phone. Back in the 80's when answering machines still used miniature cassette tapes, Kyle would talk long enough to use up the entire tape. If the machine had a 30-second cutoff, he would just keep calling back until it was used up. He still does this today, but in today's digital world, there is an almost unlimited amount of time. I have received many voice mail messages from him that lasted longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended versions).
Now that I don't have that job anymore, I have to find new ways to be annoying.
Kyle's actually pretty good at being annoying himself.
As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
People don't usually believe me when I say this, but I do not get bored. EVER. It just doesn't happen. I am always able to entertain myself, even when I can't actually do anything due to surrounding circumstances. Boredom is just not an option and I have trouble understanding how it happens to people.
There is a reason for this. Boredom was not permitted in our house growing up. My father wouldn't allow for it. He had a very good argument. My brothers and I had a lot of toys. Our shelves were filled with books (there was even a Playboy in our closet, but they didn't know about that). There was a television. We had video games (pre-Nintendo years, but we had some). AND we lived out in the country where there were literally thousands of things that can be done outside. Add to all of this the fact that there were three of us, it should not have been difficult for us to keep ourselves and each other entertained.
I don't quite remember how he said it, but my dad took it a little further. It wasn't just that there was plenty to do. He also suggested that someone who was not capable of entertaining himself or herself had something wrong with him. A busy mind is not a mind that gets bored. Even if you can't do what you want, your mind can still occupy itself. If you were incapable of avoiding boredom, it meant that you were maybe not very intelligent.
This was his version of motivation.
Living where we did, there was plenty of work to be done at any time. If someone suggested boredom, Dad would give him something to do to occupy his time and there was no shortage of chores.
My little brother Trevor working the fields
Mow the lawn
Shovel manure out of the barn
Pick some tomatoes or go snap green beans
Rake leaves or grass
Wash and wax the car
Feed the horses, chickens, dogs, goats
Weed the garden
Water mom's plants
Find your missing brother
Vacuum the floors
Pick up pears or apples that had fallen from tree
Go paint the whatever (something always needed painting)
We learned at a very young age that we weren't to ever suggest that we were bored or we would end up doing something we would rather not be doing. However, it was much more than learning not to say it. We learned to entertain ourselves and often we were made to entertain ourselves in ways that we hadn't chosen. We had a television and video games, but weren't permitted to use them all the time. For a large part of our childhood, we were allowed one hour of television per day. There was a variety of reasons for this, but it meant we had to find ways to entertain ourselves rather than just sitting back and being entertained. Because our option to be bored was taken away from us, we adapted to the point that it honestly ceased to exist. Boredom is no longer an option for me because I don't know how to do it.
So much entertainment is handed to people today, many find it difficult to engage with actual life when that device is removed. Whether it be a computer, television, tablet or cellphone, it is still possible for a person's mind to function and interact with their surroundings. However, this is a learned trait. I love my electronics, but am so grateful to my parents for teaching me to never be bored and always be entertained by the world around me.
Before moving to Indianapolis, I had a job as a courier (which is just a fancy word for deliveryman). I mostly delivered office supplies, but I had a few contracts that involved me delivering blood for the Red Cross and the occasional biopsy sample for a medical firm. The office supplies were always delivered around town, but when I had medical deliveries, I was on the road for a while.
I usually had to deliver to St. Louis (90 miles from my house), but I didn't always make the pick-up in my hometown. Sometimes, I had to drive for a few hours to even get the product. These trips varied from 180 to 450 miles round trip. In addition to these trips being long, they were always done in the evenings after I had already gotten off my regular route. For this reason, I was usually tired before I even started the trip and often needed help staying awake.
Apparently, it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving and my Candy Crush scores tend to suffer when I can't give the game my full attention, so I am always looking for ways to pass the time. On road trips, this is not an issue because I can pull over at any time to look at anything that catches my eye. When making deliveries, I was on a schedule. It didn't take me long to learn that texting passed the time fairly quickly.
NOTE: My phone is voice activated and the texts are read to me over my stereo system. So, I am not looking at my phone. My eyes are on the road. Sometimes I drive with my feet to entertain myself, but I am always looking at the road.
Recently, while going through my phone, I found one of those texting conversations. It was getting late and I needed someone to talk to. So, I shot a text to my brother Kyle. It turned out he was on the road also and even had other people in the vehicle with him, but I was not deterred. Despite the fact that he didn't stay in the conversation for very long, I tried to keep it going since I had an audience.
That conversation is included on the right.
→→→→
I didn't feel bad about it. Kyle has a long history of trying to tie up people's time on the phone. Back in the 80's when answering machines still used miniature cassette tapes, Kyle would talk long enough to use up the entire tape. If the machine had a 30-second cutoff, he would just keep calling back until it was used up. He still does this today, but in today's digital world, there is an almost unlimited amount of time. I have received many voice mail messages from him that lasted longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended versions).
Now that I don't have that job anymore, I have to find new ways to be annoying.
Anyone meeting me today would never know it, but I grew up as a country boy. We rode horses, played in the creek, went muddin', had pigs, rode four-wheelers, and had high school keg parties in fields. I was proud to identify myself as a redneck. However, I don't know that I was always sold on all the stuff that goes with it.
Today, and even as a child, I hate camping. I know a lot of people that just can't wait to pull their camper or tent out to the woods, cook over a fire, and fall asleep under the stars. WHY? Centuries of technological research and advancement have gone into making our lives more comfortable. Why would anyone choose to go backwards. We now have air conditioning, sealed homes to keep the bugs out, cable television, microwave ovens, protection from wild animals, and overhead lights. Sleeping under the stars is something homeless people do…and they don't even want to do it. I worked hard and paid a lot of money for my house and the things that are in it. I am not going to drop even more money to go sleep in the woods as though I didn't have a better place to stay.
Like most other country boys, I am an avid supporter of the 2nd Amendment. I am against excessive gun control legislation and enjoy my guns. However, unlike the stereotypical country boy, I do not enjoy hunting. I never really have. I remember doing it a few times when younger, but never really got into it. It's not because I am worried about the animals. I support hunting. I just don't want to do it myself. I have friends who love to go and have invited me hundreds of times, but I have and always will turn them down.Take duck hunting, for example. I can't think of any reason a man would want to get up at 4 o' clock in the morning to load up a boat, drag themselves out onto a lake, put on waders to stand in 40 degree water and wait for the sun to come up unless he was doing it to get away from his wife. It's a similar situation with deer hunting. It sounds miserable.
Lastly, is the ultimate redneck/country boy pastime that I want nothing to do with. FISHING! This is an activity that I have participated in many, many times. I just don't understand it. Fishing is boring!!! Every time I bring up this argument, I am told that fishing is relaxing.
How?
After all the preparation involved with going, I am already missing the relaxing part. Even sitting on the side of a pond on even in a boat, I get bored very quickly. Staring at a bobber, waitingfor it to sink is not relaxing. I can sit in my air conditioned house and stare at the wall with the advantage of being able to open a book or turn on the tv when it gets tedious. Which, it will.
Plus, if I happen to catch a fish it means even more work. Now, it has to be cleaned and cooked. I have stores and restaurants within blocks of me on all sides that will easily allow me to skip those steps and go right to the eating, which is the only part I actually enjoy.
Once I grew up, I moved into town. I wasn't trying to get away from the country life. It is just the way things worked out, but looking back, maybe I'm not as country as I thought I was.
Happily participating in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. For the entire month of April, 1,968 bloggers are working their way through the alphabet. One letter every day but Sundays for a total of 26 days.
Click here to visit the website and get more information to see if you might want to join in next year. It's a lot of fun, introduces you to hundreds of new blogs and gives your writing some fantastic exposure.
This weeks question:
One time when I was bored out of my mind…
When I was in college, I was what the college labeled a 'non-traditional' student. I was not considered traditional because I was over 25 years old. I could also get that label from having children. The third way was to be married. I met all three of those criteria. I was a 30 year old married man with two kids.
While I have no regrets about going back to college, I will advise people that what I did is NOT the way to do it. Do what you have to do, but if you have the opportunity to plan it out, do college first. Turning in poop stained term papers from changing a diaper while doing your homework is always a possibility otherwise. Most professors will mark off for a paper that literally stinks.
I had always thought of myself as still a young person until I had this adventure. The kids (and I choose that term purposefully) I sat in class with did not relate to my life. I made a few friends, but we were at different places in maturity. Plus, in the summertime, they all left campus and went home. We had actually moved there and lived in married student housing. The campus was our home year round. Technically, we lived on campus despite it not being in the dorms and in the summertime the place was dead.
I enjoyed my years at school, but without classes to go to the summers left us with a lot of free time. I often found myself doing things I would never normally do, but I had time to kill. It was this extra time that lead to a moment that I am less than proud of.
Our third summer in college, my daughter was four years old and had just discovered make up and understood the concept of getting pretty and playing dress up. Of course, she hadn't started wearing make up yet, but sometimes her mother and her would play with lipstick, blush and mascara. Kirsten loved doing this.
One Saturday morning, Kirsten brought me some nail polish and wanted me to paint her toenails. I had done this a few times before and had actually gotten pretty good at it. I kept the colors inside the lines and everything. Once I got her toes looking all pretty, she asked if she could do mine.
Not my feet, but best picture I could find of color.
She didn't normally get to play with fingernail polish because of the huge potential for a mess, especially in the hands of a four year old, but I decided to let her have a little more fun. So, we stepped out onto the balcony and I let her do my toenails. It may not be the most manly thing to do, but I was bonding with my daughter…AND for a four year old, she did a marvelous job. We cleaned up the spots were she got a little off target and when it was finished, they looked pretty good. I now had sparkly blue toenails.
We sat outside and drank sweet tea while we let our nails dry. It was a beautiful day, we had just had a good time together and I didn't give what I had done a second thought…until my wife saw them. After she finished laughing, she gave me a hard time about it, but it was soon forgotten.
The next day, I was out in the playground with my kids. Soon, a few other fathers came to join us and it wasn't long until one of them looked down at my bare feet and commented on my pretty toes. He called out for everyone within earshot to come look at my feet.
Knowing that I had been discovered and also knowing that I was amongst friends, I proudly showed them off and withstood all the teasing, well aware that it was going to come for a long time after this. I decided right then that when I went back in the house, I needed to take the time to remove the polish. I didn't regret putting it on, but there was no reason to keep it.
When lunchtime came around, I gathered my kids and started back to my apartment. As I rounded the corner, I ran into the Dean of Students. He had come by to welcome a few new families who would be starting in the fall. We exchanged a few pleasantries and he suddenly stopped talking as he glanced down and noticed my toes sparkling in the sun. He just stared at them silently for a few seconds as I tried to curl my toes under my feet.
When he looked up again, he slowly finished what he was saying and excused himself. He didn't ask about the polish and I didn't offer any explanation. In fact, I don't think I said a word. I just stood there. Red-faced.
I removed the polish as soon as I got back to the apartment. The Dean has still never asked about the blue toes.
One time when I was bored out of my mind…I polished my toenails.
Yesterday afternoon I braved a mini blizzard, arrived in St. Louis and have been sitting in a dark room ever since. I've been sleeping in an unfurnished room with six gaseous teenagers and really crappy internet service.
That really sounds worse than it is. I have been known to exaggerate.
Much too my disappointment,
there was not a single dinosaur inside.
Last month I wrote about going to see my son's death metal band perform in a club. It was loud, as is necessary for shows of that type, and my ears have stopped bleeding since then. This weekend I am with the band again, but this time it is to record their first EP. They have recorded once before, but it was in the basement of their lead singer's house. This time, we are in a professional studio. It is a much better experience when you don't have to chase rats away to keep them from chewing on the guitar cords.
My being here does not mean that I really have anything to do with this endeavor. Because recording is not a fast process, they have to stay here for a few days to get all the tracks done. With five band members, all their equipment and sleeping gear, it would not fit into one vehicle.
Proposed solution: "Christian, call your dad. He's never doing anything."
So, here I am.
The owner's dog. Pit bull mix to guard
his owner's coffee stash.
Despite not having much to do, it really isn't that bad. I brought my laptop, several books and a few rented DVD's. There is also a big screen HDTV in the next room with a large comfortable couch. I am using these things to distract myself because a person can only watch a drum track being laid down so many times. And it has been done many, many times.
It was really interesting in the beginning. When they first started recording last night, I was fascinated by the microphone setup, the sound board, the process and the beautiful 37" computer monitor the sound engineer has on his computer.
Part of the control room
First, the guitar track (scratch track) must be recorded. This is a basic recording that will not be on the final cut. It is used as the basis for the drummer to play off of later. Once the drums are recorded, other instruments get recorded and added in one at a time. It is an incredibly slow process. The guitar scratch tracks alone kept them up until about 3 a.m. this morning. Since I don't have the energy of a teenager they don't need me for any of this, I went to bed at midnight.
This studio is built for several aspects of the music business. They silk screen shirts for bands, create CD and sleeve art and rent out rooms for bands to practice in. Since we live so far away, they let us crash in one of the practice rooms. While I greatly appreciate the courtesy offered to us, I thought I was going to freeze to death. That room was cold.
Since it is not designed for people to be living here, it is missing some basic accommodations. There is a refrigerator, but no stove or microwave. We ran to the grocery store to have food for the next three days, but since we cannot cook, it is mostly lunch meat sandwiches and fruit roll-ups.
One of the motivational moments between takes
Whether well-fed or malnourished, the plan is to have the entire album finished sometime Sunday afternoon. The guys have really been enjoying the experience and I am thrilled that I got to participate and watch their excitement. Despite all the downtime for me, I love that I was asked to come. I've learned a lot. Hanging out with teenagers, a lot of what I learned involved new ways to fart on each other, but I learned some music stuff too.
Hopefully, the new Odysseus EP will be available soon.
I finished my final class for the semester last week. I now have one semester of Master's level work behind me and I have discovered that work at this level is not really harder than Bachelor's degree work, . . . but there is a lot more of it. My professor, apparently, does not believe in grades. I have this class a week behind me and have still not seen a grade from the first week of class. I have no idea where I stand. I believe I did well, but have no way to prove it or really have any confidence at all.
Since I have finished the class, I find myself with much more free time. My schedule at the Sheriff's office is set for the next month so I can't get any more hours there to take up time and being the end of the semester I am not getting many calls to substitute teach. Therefore, I am home all day.
My Christmas shopping is done, the house is clean, I don't like people enough to want to go out and see anyone and it is getting too cold to leave the house anyway. Shaving only uses up about 10 minutes and can only be done once a day. Trimming your toenails can take up more time, but once they're done, they require no more maintenance for a few weeks. I have reached a point where I do not know what to do with myself.
I am currently working my way through
season four of Prison Break
A few days ago, I pulled out an old video game I hadn't played in a while and spent the day with my XBOX. I had fun. Especially since I have gotten XBOX LIVE since the last time I really played any games. I use it mostly for access to Netflix instant streaming. I don't watch a lot of movies on it, but there are so many old TV shows that I missed when they were on, it can easily burn some hours. However, you can only watch so much television. I decided that I could spend some of my time over the break playing video games, so I went to my brother's house to try to con some video games from his sons.
I asked if I could borrow every game they are not currently playing and they happily handed them over. To my surprise, there was no need to make a deal or try to trick them. That must mean I have some endearing qualities. Or maybe I was the recipient of their Christmas charity. I haven't decided yet, but I've been playing those games for the last week. They have been an entertaining way to pass the time, until Saturday.
That afternoon, after enduring an office Christmas party, I came home and fired up the XBOX. As the screens were loading, I noticed a new symbol on the right panel. It was the YouTube logo. I downloaded the free app and fired it up. YouTube videos are now accessible from the XBOX. How cool is that? I spent the next several hours pulling up some of my favorite videos and searching for a few new ones. This has since become a problem. I can't seem to get enough. This is one of the videos I have been wasting my time with.
I have spent literally days watching old skits from the Muppet Show, SCTV, Saturday Night Live and Whitest Kids You Know. I have pulled up old cartoons to show Kirsten. Some of the ones from last night include: Grape Ape, Speed Buggy, Ricochet Rabbit, Captain Caveman and Superchicken. We have watched music videos, videos our friends have made, sang along with Biz Markie and observed an alien autopsy. I have watched 'how-to' videos on how to escape a bear attack, how to throw your voice and how to safely build a self-detonating door knob bomb. ANYTHING you want is at your fingertips.
Many of you may be thinking, "YouTube has been around for years. What's the big deal?" Let me try to explain.
It's now on my TV!!!
These useless videos are no longer hidden in the recesses of the Internet on my computer in the back room. They are in my living room. I cannot get away from them. How many different electric guitar renditions of Beethoven's 5th Symphony do I need to see? Practical jokes, nut shots, cute animals, BMX wipeouts, UFO sightings, impossible basketball shots, llamas with hats, magic tricks, vaudeville, karaoke and any other event that has ever been captured on camera is there. Every time I turn on my television from this point on, I will be faced with the reality that I can watch literally anything I can think of. I will no longer have to scan through the channels to see what is on, because everything is on. Ten years ago, I would have thought this was awesome. Now that it's a reality, it's a sensory overload. Yet, I can't look away, I can't go to bed and I can only answer the door to show someone a video of the latest bum fight.
It's a little depressing, but I have come to grips with the knowledge that I will one day die surrounded by potato chip bags in front of my TV. When the paramedics arrive, they will take their time removing me so they can finish the episode of Fraggle Rock playing on the television.
Adventure is exciting. Adventure is fun. Adventure keeps the blood pumping. A life of adventure is great. Unfortunately, I don’t have one.
I do not have a bad life. I certainly don’t want to give the impression that I am complaining about my life being mundane. I have done many exciting things, but these days they are few and far between and most of them are just stories from when I was younger. In fact, most people’s adventure stories stem from their younger days. Why is that?
Before we get tied up in our lives with our careers and families, we have more energy and time and less responsibilities. Adventure and good times just happen to us with very little effort, but it begins to change as we get older and more serious about our lives and goals. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but does lead many to become unsatisfied.
John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” In general, I have to agree with this statement. I, like many people, love a good adventure, but do not purposefully seek them out on most occasions. As I talk about the things I would like to do, I continue to age and miss another day that could have created another great memory.
This happens very easily. Most people work through the week and look forward to the weekend. It is then spent relaxing by watching movies, going shopping, reading a book, or some other uneventful activity. While this may be relaxing, it is on rare occasions that memories are being created or adventures are being lived out.
I know that these are generalities and do not apply to everyone, but I can relate. I look forward to having a day off so I can "do nothing." Then I wonder why I never got around to doing some of the things I have always wanted to do.
Before I go to the grocery store I make a list of the things I need. Otherwise, I forget half the things I went to buy. Sometimes I make a list of tasks that must be done for the day or the week. I always make lists for school to guarantee I don’t miss any assignments. So, why not make a list of the things I would like to do to help ensure more of them get accomplished? Having it down on paper and displaying the list where I can see it would not only remind me of my goals but be a constant motivation to pursue them. Therefore, a few days ago, I began compiling a list of things I have wanted to do for a long time.
As I was making my list, I realized that this is what many have called a “bucket” list. In other words, it is a list of things to accomplish before kicking the bucket. This was not what I had in mind when I started it, but serves a similar purpose.
I constructed some rules for myself concerning this index of future endeavors. The list will evolve with time and I can add something to it any time that I like. However, I may never remove anything from the list. I figure anything I put in the inventory was put there for a reason, so it may not be removed. There is no time limit for any list item, but I must always be accomplishing things on the list if I ever hope to get through it. I realize that I may never complete every task, but I will have many stories to tell about trying.
I did not restrict myself while compiling my list. I never considered the cost involved or energy required to complete any task. Some of my cataloged tasks will require travel, others will require great courage, and still others will just be something fun to do. Some will take planning, some will require lengthy discipline, and others can be done spontaneously in an instant. As you look through my checklist please keep in mind that I made this for me. Some of the items may not seem like fun or adventurous to you, but it is not your task. It is mine. On the other hand, you may want to join me on some of these adventures. I am open to suggestions for more challenges to add and will also welcome joining someone else to mark items off. If you see something you want to do, contact me and maybe we can mark it off together.
I will chronicle each accomplishment on this blog, but the list will not become the focus of my blog. I will continue to write on my usual random topics and will only return to the list when another item has been knocked out. I plan to record each event with photographic and/or video evidence to be shared here.
Here is my list in no particular order. Click the links are to see examples or definitions:
Feel free to contact me with suggestions for other adventures or questions about what some of these are or why I would want to do them. My growing list can be seen at this link. I will share with you as they are completed and feel free to join me in marking some off. I'm so excited.
