Tofu Independence

Over the weekend, political correctness hit a new high (or low, depending on how you look at it).

It is a long standing tradition for the president to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey. I understand the humor in the tradition, but have always thought it to be a little silly since being eaten is typically what domesticated turkeys have been bred and raised for.

In the last few years, many city mayors have started doing this on a local level and sending a turkey to go live the rest of its years on a farm somewhere with the turkeys pardoned in previous years. However, this past Thanksgiving, the mayor of Seattle decided to show of the eccentricity of his city by pardoning two tofurkeys. Not just one, but two. Read the story here.

For those of you who may not know, a tofurkey is a turkey-shaped hunk of tofu and wheat protein which has never and will never be alive. This makes the 'pardoning' kind of…well, pointless. If you disagree with me about the validity of this strangeness, consider this. The tofurkeys were then donated to a food bank to be fed to the homeless at a local shelter. This means they were never even actually pardoned to begin with. They are still going to be eaten!

On the upside, if for any reason I was ever in a position where the only way I could have a Thanksgiving dinner would be from a shelter or a community food drive and they served me tofurkey, it just might be the jolt I needed to get my life back on track.

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Remember to enjoy your family as the following photo ad from 1926 suggests because they could die. Don't you love holiday cheer from the Great Depression?

Get a picture of Grandpa...he doesn't look so good.

 

From everyone here at the Transformed Nonconformist, have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving.

By everyone, I really just mean me. I don't actually have a staff. It just sounded better that way. I don't make any money off this blog myself. How would you expect me to pay other people? Plus, it's not like this blog requires that much maintenance. What would I even have a staff do other than keep me company. Of course, that would be more of a distraction than anything else. You know what? This year, I am thankful I don't have a staff. They would probably want to talk to me and stuff.

Thankful To Have A TV Without Having To Shank Anyone

Tomorrow, families all over the country will be getting together to remember how blessed they are. Millions of people will sit down at tables surrounded by family and piled high with a feast that usually lasts for days.

Plus, as someone who normally just shows up without bringing anything, this year may be the only year in history where I will be considered a hero for bringing Ding Dongs to Thanksgiving..

People will slip into Tryptophanic comas, watch football, play cards, get drunk, or do whatever their family tradition entails. At least, most people will. Many will not get to participate because the events of the next day have started to creep into Thanksgiving.

Black Friday  /blak ˈfrīdā/  (noun) 
The annual event when people flock to retail outlets to fight complete strangers for unneeded merchandise exactly one day after gathering to express how thankful they are for the things they have been blessed with.

I am not much of a shopper, so this is not something I would ever be into, but I can understand why some people would take advantage of being together and wanting to go do some shopping. If you like shopping, then it seems completely logical. However, over the years it has grown into something that makes me wonder why anyone is still interested in participating.

Looks like fun, doesn't it?

This weekend, we will all start hearing the reports of the people that were killed in the shopping melee that happened on Black Friday. Yes, KILLED!  People die because of Black Friday madness every year. Usually, the first reports of death are of some elderly man who did the unspeakable act of unlocking the doors of the store only to be trampled to death by the salivating shoppers eager to save forty percent on a big screen television.

I personally know people who have gotten a concussion or broken nose because they made the mistake of picking up a piece of merchandise that someone else wanted enough to attack them for it. I really don't understand why this is considered fun.

Unfortunately, we have a growing percentage of people who have no choice in the matter. Retail giant Wal-Mart has decided to open its store at 8 o' clock Thursday evening starting the 'festivities' early. Best Buy, Target and several other retailers are making similar decisions. Not only is the greed for money depressing to watch, but telling employees that they cannot spend that day with their family is unfair. Many who have family out of town cannot go to their family dinner because they can't make it back to work on time.

Retail workers all over the country (Wal-Mart, especially, is making the news) are threatening a Black Friday walk out if these new hours are not revoked. The lawsuits are flying and this holiday season is growing dismal for a lot of people. A cashier at our local Wal-Mart told me that a special employee meeting was held there about this issue and the employees were told that it would not be in their best interests to participate in any of the turmoil popping up around the country. Basically, they were given a subtle threat to keep their mouths shut.

I am so thankful that I do not work in retail and really feel sorry for those people who do. They are about to be put through hell for a few days and will not receive extra compensation for most of it. Holiday pay is for Thanksgiving only and does not cover Black Friday. Some employees will get a few hours of extra pay, but most would surely be willing to give it up and go back home to their families.

As in past years, I will not be setting foot in any store from now until Christmas except to get groceries. For those of you willing to go brave the crowds, please be careful, treat others with respect even if they don't, and remember that there is no Black Friday deal at the emergency room if you do get injured.

Now We're Cookin'

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone again.  I hope you had a wonderful holiday.  I know I did.  We had a smaller gathering this year.  It was my parents, my brother Trevor, my brother Kyle with his family, and Christian, Kirsten and myself.  That’s it, ten people.  It has been a long time since we have had a holiday meal with just us.  I have nothing against my extended family, but it was nice.  I really enjoyed it.

Kirsten and I drove back home to Moweaqua later that night.  My wonderful mother packed us some leftovers to take home which I got into first thing the next morning.  That was when the seriousness of our situation really hit home.  We still do not have a microwave.

If you know me or follow my blog, then you are probably aware that we only moved here a month ago.  Because our last move was into my parents’ fully furnished house, we gave most of our stuff away for that move.  Therefore, when we made this move, we had to locate new stuff.  This isn’t really much of a problem.  We have already acquired a dining room set, dresser drawers, a computer desk and various other things to fill our apartment.  There are some things we don’t have yet.  Our television sits on the floor since we have no entertainment center.  I will get one eventually, but it is not at the top of my priority list.  We also don’t have beds, a couch, or a desk for Kirsten.

The microwave was one of those things that we knew we would eventually get, but could live without in the meantime.  However, it did not take long to rethink this strategy.  We moved here on a Saturday, ate out for lunch, and grabbed a frozen pizza from the local market for supper that evening.  The next day, after church, we needed to put some groceries in the apartment.  I got directions to the nearest Wal-Mart (we needed more than food) and we were on our way.

Once at the store we made a beeline for the grocery section and began hungrily filling our cart.  After about 30 minutes, Kirsten made a profound observation, “How is the shredded cheese going to melt on the burritos?  We don't have a microwave.”  That was a good point.  I hadn’t considered that yet.  Obviously, it couldn’t.  It then occurred to me that we had a problem and not just with the cheese.

After 30 minutes of shopping we had many items in our cart; eggs, milk, frozen burritos, breakfast cereal, lunchmeat, soup, bread, various condiments, Hot Pockets (love them), shredded cheese, etc.  We began to look through our plunder at what foods would be useless to have without the convenience of a microwave.
 
Now before I get started, please note that I do cook.  We do eat vegetables and I am pretty handy with a crock pot, but there are many foods and between-meal snacks that are just designed (or easier) for a microwave.  I had no idea how much we take this appliance for granted until we started digging through the foods in our cart.

Ham & Cheese are best

The first to go back was the burritos and I have missed them.  They are so quick to make and taste so good with the cheese melted over them and topped with sour cream.  They are great for a quick bite or a late-night snack.  But they had to go back in the frozen food aisle, which also meant we didn’t need the cheese or sour cream any longer.  The frozen waffles had to go back as well since we don’t own a toaster either, which now means we have no use for the maple syrup.  I even had to put back my HOT POCKETS.  This was getting ridiculous.

I suddenly began to realize that I would need to modify my shopping list in order to accommodate this change.  I didn’t realize how much of a difference it would make.  I then looked through my list and began crossing things off: NO Easy Mac, NO microwave popcorn, NO pre-made breakfast sandwiches, NO chicken taquitos, NO instant anything.  I could still buy meat, but since I can no longer take advantage of the microwave defrost feature I would now have to employ the antiquated practice of remembering to get it out the night before to thaw so I am not cooking a brick.

After taking back the items that we could not use we refilled the cart with food that could be prepared without a microwave.  We paid for everything, loaded it in the van, and drove home without speaking.  Kirsten was fighting back tears over the loss of her burritos and I wept openly while mourning my Hot Pockets.

Over the next few weeks we began to adjust, but life was never normal.  We made the best of it until Thanksgiving.  That brings us back to where this blog started.  I woke up the morning after Thanksgiving dinner and headed to the fridge to get at those leftovers.  Now, I am willing to eat turkey cold, but dressing and mashed potatoes must be reheated.  The microwave situation had just hit a new urgency.  I refused to live like this any longer.

These ladies really get into the spirit of the day.

I got Kirsten out of bed to inform her we were going into town to find a microwave.  She fearfully reminded me that we could not leave the house because it was Black Friday.  I had forgotten about that, but was willing to risk it.  Four hours later, after fighting with brawling Grandmas and determined soccer moms, we were firing up our new microwave and enjoying Thanksgiving dinner all over again.  We also bought new groceries.  I have my Hot Pockets once again.  Plus, because it was Black Friday, I only paid $54.99 for the microwave. 

Christmas came early this year.