V - Violin

I do not play the violin nor have I ever wanted to, but I bet I'd be a pretty hard-core fiddler.

Coming Soon to a Town Near You

Since I work in a school, I have a few fantastic perks. The best one being that I have summers off. I don't get paid during this time, but having that time off is wonderful. I gives me the time to do things that a typical job would generally prevent me from having the opportunity to do. This past summer , I took advantage of one of those opportunities.

People don't usually believe me when I say this, but I have a son, Christian, who's a rock star. He isn't selling out huge stadiums or giving tours of his home on MTV's Cribs, but his band is seeing a lot of success. He travels all over the country doing what he loves and will soon be going out on a tour of Canada. He plays lead guitar in the band AS WE ARE. You can hear their music here.

I got this image from Google.
Did you know Google tracks you?
Creepy, huh?

While he was in Indianapolis helping me move, he invited me to accompany him on his next leg of the tour. Fifteen days playing venues in Iowa, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana. Despite being newlywed, my loving wife encouraged me to take this trip. I don't get to see Christian much and this was a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time together.

So, a week later we left. There were the four guys in the band and me. They put me in charge of merchandise sales. For over two weeks, we slept in a van, ate peanut butter sandwiches, schmoozed our way into people's homes or hotel rooms to get showers, and lived on almost no sleep. It was rough, but I had a great time.  Plus, we hung out with a lot of bands that I am a big fan of. Here are the ones that I can remember meeting over the course of this tour.

Piercing the Darkness • Newsboys • Bread of Stone • We are Leo • Mark Schultz • Medic • For King and Country • Everfound • Plumb • The Crossing • Random Hero • Project 86 • Echo • Chris Day • Zachary Freedom • Michael James Band • Disciple • Willet • Lybecker • Unspoken • Leeland • 7eventh Time Down • Rhett Walker Band • The Afters • Bob Lenz • Offering • Steven Curtis Chapman • Chasynn Canaan • Written in Red • Unscene Patrol • Kindred • At the Wayside • Satellites & Sirens • We As Human • The Neverclaim • Climbing Blind • Tim Timmons • Love & the Outcome • Kerrie Roberts • Offering • A Life Set Apart • Manafest • Children 18:3 • Fight the Fade • As Clouds Break • Scott Stapp (of CREED) • Tru-Serva • Eternity Focus • BOTB • Dawna Johnson • Paul Williams • Bubba Dowling • DJ Chris VanDam • What Was Lost • Red Jumpsuit Apparatus • Nine Lashes • The Elim Arrival • Crimson River • Last Watch • Katie Danielle • Captives Set Free • Chris Sanchez • Inner Rain • Death and Desire • Break the Fall • Phinehas • The Protest • Thousand Foot Krutch

Ft Yates, ND
Standing Rock
Sioux Tribe Reservation

We lived a few days in a parked RV, slept some nights in a church basement, and stayed on an Indian reservation in North Dakota for a few days. I saw Mount Rushmore, got a tour of the seedy side of Rapid City, SD from a homeless man, talked my way into the projection room of a movie theater, and spent an afternoon learning to play bridge with a bunch of old ladies in Montana.

Every single day was an adventure due to two simple facts. First, I tend to seek out a good time wherever I go. Second, we had some pseudo-celebrity influence that I was more than willing to take advantage of. Several times each day, I would walk into some business explaining who we were, pass out a few CDs, drop some names of people we had just hung out with and then explain what I wanted to do. It was very rare that someone told us no.

Once the typical person learns that you are in a traveling band and can prove it (or even better, they have heard of you), they bend over backwards to accommodate you. Luckily, I wasn't looking to be deviant. Most of the time, I just wanted to get some interesting pictures. Our first photo op was in Osceola, Iowa. I talked a city employee into letting us into the city council chambers. She actually unlocked the doors and just walked away. I assume it's because everyone trusts musicians.

Next, we visited the Women's Auxiliary of the AMVETS in Osceola. They taught us how to quilt.

In Terry, Montana, we walked into the Historic Kempton Hotel and and asked to borrow a vacuum cleaner. They just handed one over without even asking what it was for.

Then, we went to visit the city pool. Paul had an idea of a shot he wanted to get. They weren't open yet, but they let us in anyway.

I know that this is probably not what most people think of when they hear the phrase "living the rock 'n roll life", but I know I enjoyed it.

Let the Music Play

Click picture for Shane's blog

In my November 27^th post, I asked my readers to submit questions for me to answer. Today's question comes from Shane Morgan of In Shane's Brain. His question:

Have you ever ever been in a band or played a musical instrument?

He said that I was not allowed to count being a roadie in my son's band as having been in a band. Even taking that out of consideration, the answer to this question is still 'YES.' I was in a band for several years.

Waltonville High School band - Freshman year 85-86

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I had started playing the alto saxophone when I was in the 4^th grade. It was your average grade school band for the first couple of years. Then we got a new music teacher. The band that we had been happy with for the last couple of years was suddenly not good enough. I remember once after months of her strict instruction, we played better than I had ever heard us play before and it was a complicated piece. At the last note, I lowered my instrument with a big smile on my face. The teacher took a deep breath and blew a raspberry at all of us.

Despite how great I thought it was, she knew how good we could be and pushed us further. By the end of the year, she was getting compliments from instructors at other schools about how we were the best high school band they had ever heard. She proudly informed them that we were junior high students.

Under her tutelage, I received 1^st place at several state competitions. I enjoyed my saxophone and I was good at it. My 7^th and 8^th grade years, when we had to go over to the high school last period for shop class or Ag, I would skip class to go to band. I don't know how I got a away with it, but no one ever called me out on it.

As evidenced by the above picture, I joined the band when I reached high school. However, I can find no pictures of me in band after that first year. I have racked my brain and do not remember why I quit. I have a lot of high school memories, but can't remember this one. I was in band faithfully for six years and it just stopped for some reason.

Looking through my yearbooks, I do find evidence that I was involved with several other school organizations. Whether these interfered with the band or whether I just lost interest, I don't know.

Scholastic Bowl - Front right

Spanish Club - almost hidden in back row

If you look at these pictures and the organizations that I was involved with and wonder if I had to struggle to not be considered a nerd, I can assure you, there was no struggle at all. I was a nerd. I had earned that label years before and still wore it. Nerds are a bit more popular today than they were in the 80's. I guess we weren't that enlightened yet...well, I was, but no one else. I always knew I was cool.

I would show you pictures of myself from the sports pages of my yearbook if it weren't for the fact that I am not in any of them. There is a reason for that.

Freshman - 14 y/o

I did gain a little more popularity in my high school years and a lot more self-assurance. I started out as this → guy freshman year. I was just starting high school and had no idea what I was getting into.

I couldn't talk to anyone, especially girls. I did my best to live in the shadows and not draw attention to myself. I had poor social skills due to a lack of confidence and just wanted to get through each day without being noticed by an upperclassman.

However, over the next couple of years, things began to change for me. I began to open myself up more. I put myself out there. I learned that if I wasn't as timid, I was taken a little more seriously. My junior year, I even got up the nerve to ask a cheerleader to the Prom…and she said yes (which was the really amazing part). Incidentally, she was the first redhead I ever went out with.

Voted MOST TALENTED

I finished as this ← guy. No less a nerd than when I started, but I had come out of my shell quite a bit. I was even still in the stereotypical nerd clubs. I was on the Scholastic Bowl team, had joined the Journalism staff, was still in Spanish Club and was one of the leads in the school play/variety show. The only thing I was quit was band.

It seems that it was the saxophone that was holding me back. Once I put it down, my life began to change. Do girls like a guy in a band? Well, maybe if you play guitar. However, the saxophone is not so sexy. Just don't tell Ron Swanson.

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Finally....Portland

I am almost ashamed of myself for letting my blog writing get so far behind. Almost. I am not ashamed, but I could be doing better. I returned from my trip to Portland over a week ago and am just now doing a follow up post about the trip.

Black Chinese?

As stated in earlier posts, Kirsten and I went to attend the wedding of my cousin. Since we arrived five days before the wedding, we had time to take in the city. The first thing we noticed were the people.

Portland has been called the hipster capital of the world and it didn't take long to see why. The residents of Portland definitely have their own style. We saw a child toddler walking between his parents that appeared to be in a pirate costume, although, I don't think it was a costume. They just really liked the vest over all those ruffles.

There was a much higher percentage of tattoos and facial piercings as compared to what I have seen in other cities across the country. On average, one in every three women had a hoop nose ring and some restaurants would not allow entry without some ink showing.

I did the best I could to capture some of these people, but do not have the ninja camera skills of Misty at Misty's Laws. These are the best I could get without being noticed.

Those pants look like they were made
from one of my grandmother's quilts.

Besides the clothes,why the washboard?

Bicycle-riding crime fighter?

Was that intentional?
How does this happen?

We decided to pass on this one.

Being so far from home, we had no choice but to eat out for every meal. We searched the internet and scoured the streets for the best places to eat.

Here at home, there are the typical choices of various fast food restaurants and a few ethnic food places (Mexican/Chinese), but there is not a lot of variety. When we found the food cart area of downtown Portland, we were overwhelmed at the number of options available to us.

There were the expected Chinese, Italian, and Mexican places, but we wanted something we couldn't get back home. I love trying new foods and checked out every cart before making my choice. We could have gyros, tacos, hot dogs, shish-ka-bobs, noodles, soups or egg rolls. There was Ethiopian, Greek, Cajun, Belgian, Nicaraguan, Thai, Vietnamese, Australian and even Kosher Egyptian. After carefully considering all our options (and, trust me, it wasn't easy), we finally made our choice.

Yes! We flew all the way to Portland
and ate grilled cheese sandwiches.

After looking at all the vendors, we went with the grilled cheese. Now, I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich, but these guys really know what they are doing. Plus, they make about a dozen different varieties. I ordered one with bacon and tomato on sourdough bread. It was incredible.

Besides the food, there was plenty to see. While walking down Alberta Street one night, we came across a vaudeville type side show.

The show hadn't actually started yet. They were either practicing or trying to show people how to do what they were doing. A small crowd had gathered to watch or learn. If this happened in my town, there would have been a large crowd gathered. This goes to show how common place this type of stuff must be. Most people just walked by without giving it any recognition.

Here is a short unedited video of what they were doing.

After watching for a few minutes a deciding we had seen all they had to show, we journeyed further down the street. A few blocks down, a couple of guys were setting up a speaker on the sidewalk and soon, this happened.

The people of Portland seem to like to take their talents to the street. They other guy in the video had the talent of setting up the sound system. He did take the mike later to try his hand at rapping, but it was very short lived. I don't know if that guy would even have the rhythm to clap a consistent beat, much less try to rap.

Due to the lack of parking spaces,
all bikes must be chained to this pole
in order to shop on this block.

Portland, being the metropolis that it is, has many similar problems to other big cities. One of those problems is often what I find to be most frustrating when I am in large cities: trying to figure out where to park. There are thousands of people on the streets and cars driving everywhere, but there are only seven parking spaces that must be shared by the entire city. It gets pretty complicated and frustrating.

One of the times I used a parking garage, the attendant gave me a ticket with a parking time of two hours before I had gotten there. Of course, I didn't notice this until an hour after I had walked away from my car. When I returned to my car later and pointed out the problem, he said I would have to pay the full amount. That was going to cost me an extra $15. I refused and showed him the time stamped on the receipt of the vendor across town that I had visited right before coming to his garage. He wasn't having it and insisted upon the full amount. When I started screaming "RAPE!!!" he threw me my keys and told me to leave. That works every time.

We went outside the city one day to get out and see the landscape of Oregon. We crossed over into Washington and drove out to the ocean. Despite the beautiful scenery and the incredible views of the mountains, I couldn't help but notice that the people of the Northwest must take these majestic views for granted. I base this on the names they give the local attractions. With names like CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT and DISMAL NITCH, they don't appear to be as impressed with the scenery as we were.

Yes, that is Jen from "Jen" e sais quoi

On Saturday night, I contacted the Portlandia Mom "Jen"  of  "Jen" e sais quoi for her to recommend a church to us. She graciously invited us to her church which just happened to be having its Independence Day Weekend All-American Veteran Freedom Festival Barbecue. I really don't remember what it was called. It was something like that.

I know I have only seen this church one time, but I loved it. It seems to be an awesome church and Jen praised it several times. She loves that church and I could see why.

After the service, we went outside to get plates of food and come back inside to enjoy a full orchestra playing Americana music.

Before each song, one member would explain the significance of the song and why it was chosen. One of the songs by John Phillip Souza was written to commemorate the return of the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia after touring the country. It was called the Liberty Bell March. As soon as the song started, I recognized it.

It was the theme song to Monty Python's Flying Circus. I couldn't help but visualize the big foot to coming down to squish the orchestra. After the song, I had to wonder why patriotic Americans chose the theme from a British sketch comedy show to represent a piece of American history.

We had a great time that morning listening to the orchestra and visiting with Jen. I can assure you that she is as funny and friendly in person as she is on her blog. Plus, a few days before she introduced me to the Office Skank (her readers will understand), so I feel that I have seen all there is to see in Portland. Thank you, Jen.

In all, I consider this to have been a great trip. I saw everything I wanted to see. I don't know if I will ever find my way to Portland again, but we had a great time for the week that we were there.

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Following are a few of the pictures I wanted to show, but did not fit into the above words.

I found where I want to go next year.
Kirsten did not agree.

Note that this was at a high school.

Sign stapled to a pole. I've stared at it for hours.
I still don't get it.

Kirsten seeing if she had what it took to be Malcom X.
She didn't.

In front of the vaudeville sideshow.
Facts about funnel cakes.
Click to enlarge.

I Need More Hours in the Day

I had a leisurely day planned for today. Physical therapy at 9 a.m. and a graduation to attend tonight at 6. I wanted to mow my yard, do a little house cleaning, some reading and maybe hit the gym. However, it did not turn out that way. I got done with therapy at ten and called Adam to see if he wants to go to the gym with me. He informs me that we just got hired to do a show at a local school that starts at noon. It was the last day of school and after the awards ceremony the school wanted to throw a party for the kids.

I flew home to get changed and we headed out to get the equipment. We get to the school and set up. They had a bouncy house, a jousting ring and obstacle course for the kids. The students ate outside, ran around like mad, danced to our music and requested a bunch of songs that we could never play at a school function.

At this event, I was told of an open house that afternoon at the homeless shelter I have been working with for the last year. After breaking down, I had time to go home, get showered from sweating outside all afternoon and go pick up my daughter before heading back to pick up Adam and go to the shelter.

After shaking a few hands and eating a few brats, we took Adam home to get to the school for the six o' clock graduation. On the drive over, I was explaining to Kirsten how the day had not gone as I had planned and I was looking forward to this graduation being over and getting back home. I was worn out.

The great thing about this graduation was that it was at a small private school. Very small. The high school graduating class consisted of two boys. Between handing out the diplomas, a commencement speech and a little Pomp & Circumstance, we should be back home by 6:30. My unexpected long day was moments away from being over.

When we got there, I noticed that there were an awful lot of people there to watch two kids graduate. I soon learned that there were four graduates, not two. Another kid who had completed the off-campus studies program and would be crossing the stage with these kids he had never met and a 75 year old man who had never graduated high school and started taking classes to get his long awaited diploma. That was actually pretty cool. However, it still seemed like a lot of people for only four graduates.

We took a seat next to a couple that we knew but hadn't really seen in a few years. They had a daughter who was about to turn three and I had never met. She was immediately taken with Kirsten and wanted to sit by us and talk.

Two minutes after meeting me,
she is telling me her life story.

A lot.

She talked and squirmed and crawled under the seats and tried to lick her finger to stick it in Kirsten's ear. Her dad said that at home she has her own version of the Wet Willy. It's called the Butt Willy. I'll leave you to figure out how that works for yourself.

Once the ceremony started, her dad made her sit in his lap. He said it was because he didn't want her to be a nuisance, but I couldn't help but notice it was right after I asked her if she would get in my car if I gave her some candy. For the next few minutes she kept asking me when we could go get the candy.

The principal stepped up to the mike to welcome everyone, said a quick prayer and stated that he would announce the graduates. I checked my clock: 6:07. We would be out of there in no time. After announcing the first name, a 4 foot person approaches the stage.

THIS WAS A KINDERGARTEN STUDENT!!!

Apparently, due to the size of the school, they do all the graduations at once. This would take a little longer than I thought. They gave the precious child her diploma and then had several children come to the stage to sing a song. A very loooong and slow song. When it was over, they moved to the 8th grade graduates. There were three in this class. They walked the stage fairly quickly and then brought up the singer to commemorate their achievement.

Here is one of the things about small schools...or any small organization. There is not a large talent pool to pull from. I know that not everyone is good at everything, but when you have 1,200 people to choose from, at least a few will be exceptional at any given talent. When you only have abut 20 people to choose from, you may end up with this:

I understand that she should be commended for having the courage to get up in front of everyone and sing, but courage will only impress people to a degree. Since this song was rather long and I was slowly coming to the realization that I was not getting out of here any time soon, I needed something to entertain myself.

Looking for something to do, I noticed the little girl from earlier staring at me. Every move I made caused her eyes to follow me. So, I turned off the flash to my camera and decided to have some fun.

I stuck out my tongue. She quickly followed suit.


I sucked in my lips and she did the same.


I pushed my nose up like a pig and she pushed hers up as well.

I crossed my eyes and she did this.


We had great fun for several minutes until something she did caused me to laugh.

She did not appreciate it and screamed at me.


I was able to escape her father's detection and played dumb.

That outburst caused her to have to go sit with Grandma.

With my entertainment gone, my attention was shifted back to the stage. The graduating seniors were brought to the stage and given their diplomas. The senior citizen and off-campus student were both recognized and the on campus graduates each addressed the crowd. No mention was made of valedictorian or salutatorian, but when there are only two people, does it really matter?

After their speeches, we were treated to a slide show set to music that chronicled every picture that had ever been taken of each of these boys.

Being a Christian school, it was followed up with a sermon and then finally concluded. This ceremony for one kindergartner, three 8th graders and four seniors (total of 8 people) had taken one hour and 37 minutes. I promptly told Kirsten to say her goodbyes and head to the car.

The principal jumped on stage for a last announcement.

"The families of the graduating seniors have prepared a meal and you are all invited to stay and eat."

Well, that changed everything. The main reason I wanted out of there so fast was to get some food. We fought the crowd to get to the tables in the back. Once sitting, the allure of food and good conversation distracted me. When I rose to leave, over two more hours had passed.

I never did make it to the gym.