What Do You Want From Your Life?

Two years ago many people thought my wife and I were crazy when we went to Turkey for our vacation despite the recent bombings in Ankara (the city we went to) and all along the Syrian border. We went anyway and had the best vacation I've ever been on.

Two months after returning from that trip, we sold all our stuff and moved to Beijing, China so I could teach English to primary school children and start using my degree in TESOL. Something I was having great difficulty doing while living in the States.

After 20 months in Beijing, we packed up again and now live in Danang, Vietnam. Despite living in Vietnam, I still work for the Chinese. In China.

The last couple of years have been a whirlwind of new adventures, crazy stories (I'm all about collecting new stories), challenging stereotypes, personal growth, and stretching our perception of people, culture and the world. It has been absolutely amazing. I can honestly say that I love my life. It still has difficultes, but that cannot be escaped anywhere.

At least once a week, I hear from someone saying something to the effect of "I am so jealous." OR "I wish I could travel all the time." And my response is always the same.

"Then do it."

This doesn't just pertain to travel. I heard the same when I went back to college after I had started my family. "I wish I could go back to school."

I would suggest they go back to school. I would then get a long list of reasons why they couldn't do what I did.

• My kids are still in school
• My job is pretty demanding
• I don't have the money
• I've been out of school too long
• I don't have the time 
• My dog's about to have puppies

I completely understand the fear that comes with every one of these excuses (except the puppy one) because I had the same issues in my life. I had kids and barely made enough money to meet my rent. I was working several jobs to get that money. I was pressed for time and hadn't been to a school in years. However, I made a simple choice and it was the same choice that every person makes every day.

What are my priorities?

We ALL have responsibilities that take up our time and our thoughts and our effort, but somehow we manage. Many of us have limited incomes, but we still have to decide where we spend that income. Any time we have that is not dictated to us by our jobs, sleep or responsibilities is decided by us on how we spent it.

If you choose to use your money to buy a $100/month cable package, that is your business. Good for you. However, if you have that cable package and then claim that you can't put back $100 a month to save for a trip or a college class or whatever, it's just not true. You did have the money, but you made a choice about what your priorities were and it was cable TV.

I know a guy who always complained about how broke he was and he didn't appreciate me pointing out that he didn't have to drive a brand-new $800/month car all the time. There are much cheaper cars out there. This same guy took his wife out for VERY VERY nice dinners every Friday night, but then had trouble paying his power bill.

Whether we are talking about money, time, effort, energy, or anything else, we all only have a finite amount and how we choose to spend it is up to us. If you really want to do something, do it. Make it happen. Make your choice.

So many of the people who tell me they would love to travel more use lack of money as their excuse for why they don't. However, I cannot seem to convince them that they often make much more money than I do. And it's true whether they choose to believe it or not.

The main difference is…travel is a priority to me. Because of this, my financial decisions are made with future travel plans in mind. I recently turned down a job offer because the schedule would be too restrictive to allow me to travel freely. Travel is a priority, so I design my life around it. I personally know a girl who prioritizes travel, makes only $1,200 a month and travels all over the world. In the last year, she's been to a dozen U.S. cities and seen China, Bali, Indonesia, Malaysia, Scotland, Germany, Spain, and others. Don't tell me you can't afford to travel.

Whether you realize it or not, you are already doing the same thing. The places you choose to put your money/time/effort/emotions are the priorities you have chosen. You might not have put that much thought into it, but you have done it. The thing you need to consider is: are you being intentional about your priorities or are you just floating along letting life take you where it wants to.

If you have something you really want to do, then make it happen. Believe it or not, you probably do have the means to do so. Sit down. Make a plan and figure out you how may need to restructure your life to acheive your goal. Whatever that goal may be, it is probably not just going to fall into your lap. Go get it.

 Whatever it is

Go back to school ✯ Take your dream vacation ✯ Build that house you always wanted ✯ Write your book ✯ Get in shape ✯ Learn woodworking ✯ Volunteer at that animal shelter ✯ Take that cooking class ✯ Move to the seaside ✯ Go live your life

You have more control than you have given yourself credit for.

If you have something you want to do and you choose not to, that is fine. It is your life and I believe you should be able to live it however you choose. However, don't complain to me about the reasons you can't because I will challenge you to change your thinking.

On to Our Next Adventure

It's been about six weeks since my last post and that post was written while Red and I were in Turkey. If you been watching the news, you know that Turkey has had some turmoil recently. Several bombings over the last few months (one happened while we were there), and most recently there was a failed coup to overthrow the government. I swear I had nothing to do with it. I was back in Indiana when everything went down.

Just narrowly missing the economic and military implosion of a Middle East country has given us a renewed sense of adventure and we are ready to leave the Midwest to see what else is out there for us. After a few drinks much consideration, we have decided on our next adventure.

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WE ARE MOVING TO CHINA!!!

 

Less than a week before we left for Turkey, we accepted teaching jobs in Beijing, China and plan to leave Indiana sometime in late September. We would go sooner, but the paperwork and legalities involved with moving and working overseas are very complicated and take some time to arrange. 

Almost exactly two years ago, I completed my Master's degree in TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). Since then, I have applied for over 100 different positions all over the country and have had no luck. Every college wants someone with at least 5 years experience and every public school requires a degree in education in addition to my current degree. Therefore, unless I just get lucky and find a place that will take me, I just can't seem to find a job in my field.  

When I first moved to Indianapolis almost three years ago, part of my motivation was to be in a bigger city with more language teaching opportunities. I needed to be teaching in a classroom to meet the practicum requirements for my degree and small town Mount Vernon, Illinois just didn't have that. As I was settling into my new Indianapolis apartment, I posted on Facebook about my move and need to find a place to teach in order to graduate. Within hours, I was contacted by a school and offered a job on the spot. This was more than an opportunity to get class credit. It was a real teaching job. Before I even had my degree. But it was in China. 

A friend of mine from college had moved to China after graduating and eventually started an international school in Beijing. It has been quite successful and he has since expanded into more schools and has partnered with many of the local schools there. He was in the need of an English teacher and wanted me to come. I really didn't have any reservations about moving overseas, but I didn't feel that my life was in a place where I could leave the country yet. I had just moved to Indianapolis less than a week before this offer. My daughter had one semester left before graduating high school and I had been dating Red for several months and really felt like this relationship was going somewhere. I couldn't even consider leaving the country at that point. My friend tried to convince me, but it didn't work. I turned him down, but he did check back with me a few months later to see if I would reconsider. I denied him again. He said he would quit calling me about it.

Kirsten's graduation picture

Fast forward to this year and my life has settled in. I married Red and my kids are grown and living their adult lives. However, I still don't work in the field I went to school for and built up all the student loan debt for. In the midst of a conversation about this, Red asked me about my friend in China and if that job offer still stood. I thought about it for a couple of minutes and realized that leaving the country is a workable possibility now and I called him. He was very excited to hear from me and offered a job immediately. After a few minutes of questions about Red, he offered a job to her as well. It was an exciting phone call.

We were leaving for Turkey in a couple of days, so I told him we would start to hammer out the details as soon as we got back into the country. Since then, we have started exchanging paperwork back and forth and selling off our furniture. It's been a whirlwind of activity and a mountain of regulations and paperwork, but this is happening.

I Might Need Another Wife

A few days ago, Red and I returned from our vacation to Turkey. We spent ten days driving around ancient ruins and huge cities while struggling with the language barrier and trying not to get lost since none of the street signs made any sense to us. We ate exotic foods, drove through mountains, overlooked the Aegean Sea, walked the streets of the ancient city of Troy and got to tour many of the places from the part of the world that is considered to be the cradle of civilization. It was a great vacation despite the dozens of people who tried to talk us out of going to this "dangerous" part of the world.

Throughout this fascinating journey, I was repeatedly amazed at how friendly the people there were. They went above and beyond to make sure that we were happy and having a good time. One day, Red and I were trying to cross a busy intersection in downtown Izmir and were waiting on the median for several buses to cross. Before the last one crossed, a man approached to show us a better way. Where we were trying to cross would have left us in the street too long because of a pedestrian gate. He then walked with us for the next 15 blocks, telling us how much he appreciated seeing Americans in his city.

Due to the recent bombings (most of which are on the Syrian border) and the government-issued travel advisory for Americans, most will not venture into Turkey and it is really hurting their tourism money. We heard the same thing from a man selling tour books at the Temple of Artemis and from the proprietor of a rug store. They all wanted to know why Americans are so scared of Turkey.

For me personally, I probably wouldn't have traveled there with the recent warnings if we hadn't already been planning this trip for the last year, but there was no way I was going to cancel after all the effort we had put into this trip. And I am so glad we didn't. We met so many wonderful, smiling people. One day, two kids (about 15 and 12) were really excited to get to talk to Americans. It felt like they were practicing their English, but it was hard to talk because their smiles were so big.

Despite all this friendliness, we did meet one man who struggled to be nice. On our way into the Basilica of St. John in the city of Selçuk, a man approached me to sell me some ancient coins. He claimed to be part of the excavation team there and on Sundays he would sell small artifacts for extra money. He had an ancient Roman coin (w/ the face of Caesar), an Egyptian coin, and a few others. As he was showing me the coins, Red asked if I would display the coins or just end up throwing them in a box. This is a valid question and the man recognized it also. So, re-positioned himself to stand between Red and me hoping to exclude her from the remainder of the conversation.

I wasn't really sure that I wanted the coins, but he was very aware of the fact that he had my interest. He held up one coin and told me what I could sell it for in the States. Red spoke up to ask if he had a Certificate of Authenticity.

"For what?"

"We can't sell it without one."

"Who told you that."

He shot her a dirty look and then started pulling out business cards of people who buy from him in the States. By now, I had decided that I wasn't interested and started to walk away. He yelled, "WAIT! STOP!"

He ran back to his bag and pulled out another coin. "With this coin right here, this one..." and he stuck it in my face. "You could buy a new, younger wife."

I started to laugh, but he persisted.

"When you only have one wife, she will kill you. You don't need her. Buy this coin and get a new one. More wives is easier."

We then excused ourselves from his persistence and tried to stop laughing. We spent the next few hours touring the Citadel and Basilica. However, he was waiting for us when we came back out.

"I waited for you like you asked."

Red snapped at him, "We didn't ask you to wait."

I just kept walking, but Red decided she still wanted to fight about the legitimacy of having a Certificate of Authenticity. Since I was no longer part of this conversation, I stood at the end of the walkway and yelled to her, "Just keep walking."

Once she successfully excused herself, he called out "Would you like to buy some rugs?"

Over her shoulder, she dismissed him by saying "We bought rugs yesterday."

He retorted, "Mine are better. They can fly."

Three Days Until Turkey

Red and I are hopping on a plane to Turkey in three days and I am ready to run out the door right now. It feels like the day will never get here. For me, this is my first trip out of the country. I lived in Puerto Rico for a short period, but that is technically still in the United States. I did have to take an international flight to get there, but I don't think that counts. This will be my actual real authentic indisputable first time. Red has traveled the world and even lived in three countries outside of the U.S., but this is all new to me.

We are flying out of Chicago instead of Indianapolis (where we live) because it was almost $1,000 cheaper. We're driving to Chicago to leave our car at a friend's house and then are hopping a train and a subway to get us to the airport. So, if we don't die on the subway (first time on a subway also), we should arrive in Ankara, Turkey about 10 p.m. on June 1.

March 13, 2016 - Ankara, Turkey
The city we're initially traveling to
Second car bombing in two weeks

I really don't know what to expect from this trip. This part of the world is radically different from everything here in the States and our government even has issued a travel warning to Americans traveling to Turkey. There's a bit of turmoil happening there right now, but we have discovered that this drastically brings down costs. We're spending a few nights in a resort area right on the Aegean Sea for $50/night. Political turmoil has its advantages!

We plan to visit the sites of several of the churches mentioned in Revelation and visit Troy. We have a lot of driving to do, so we'll have to adjust to their driving laws. That part should be fun. I'm curious how many street signs we will actually be able to read.

On a side note, my doctor has been carefully monitoring my diet for the last month and has not been happy with the way I eat. I really can't say I blame him. He asked me what I will be eating while I'm in Turkey.

"Um...everything."

I mean, seriously? I'm on vacation.

He decided that was fair. I have to start my food diary again as soon as I get back. In the meantime, I will be sure to not only post about all the places we visit each day, but also about the new and exciting foods that we will be eating.

I really do plan to eat everything.