Monday, March 19, 2012

Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, but that day doesn't mean much to me. I stayed home and watched a DVD with my daughter. (The Rum Diary, if you want to know. It sucked.) I really don't frequent bars or go to wild parties. I did those things years ago and like to say I outgrew them, but sometimes I wonder.

My life changed. I had children. I have other lives that I am responsible for. I had to make some changes and some of them involved staying home and taking care of my family.

You know how some kids go off to college and then go nuts because they are no longer under the roof of their parents. I wonder if that will be me in a couple of years when my daughter leaves for college. It will just be me with no responsibilities other than myself. That kind of freedom can be dangerous in the hands of a man that hasn't seen it for eighteen years.

My leash is a little longer.
I am not suggesting that I feel that I am shackled down. I love being a dad and wouldn't trade it for anything. I also understand that the parenting doesn't just stop when they move out. However, to have the daily responsibility suddenly lifted when the last child moves out is a little scary and yet I look forward to it as well. What will happen when I don't have to get home because I have a daughter there? Will I actually do anything different? I have no idea. We will find out in a couple of years. My daughter will be leaving for college in the fall of 2014.

Until then, I am happy to be at home. I get into my share of trouble every now and then, but it stays fairly tame. Half the time, I have her right beside me for any trouble I encounter, but last night we played it safe and stayed home.

After a night of emails, TV and checking Facebook I headed to bed. That is when the adventure started.

Like most people I dream in my sleep. Sometimes I remember my dreams and sometimes I don't. On the occasions that I do, it is usually little snippets here and there. However, last night, I pursued the same adventure all night.

I will tell this dream as best as I can remember how it happened. The dream will be in blue. I will add my commentary and possible reasons for these images in regular text.

As soon as I fell asleep, I started dreaming that my daughter and I were sharing a meal at home and talking. She was telling me about her date the night before with her boyfriend. At some point in her story, she gave me the impression that her boyfriend was doing drugs on their date. He does not do drugs, but in the dream, I was aware of the fact that he did. It was not a problem as long as he did not do them in her presence, but he did that night.

I was upset with him for doing this and upset with her for allowing it to happen by not calling me. I was also upset that she acted like nothing had been done wrong. Despite her protests, I had to report this to the police. While she was getting ready, I stepped outside. In the dream we lived in an apartment in a large city. 

There were hundreds of people going from our apartment into a building across the street. I walked across to see what was going on over there, but was stopped by a policeman and asked to show my wristband. Apparently, to prove that I had paid for the event. I explained that I was not going in, but was just curious to see what was going on. He would not answer any of my questions, but I got him to believe that I was not going in.

When my daughter finally came out, we began walking to our car. Due to the shooting that had happened a few blocks away, (I did not see this, but was aware that it had happened) the parking garage was full of panicked people trying to get away. There were also many forklifts carrying some large blue crates. The drivers could not see in front of them, so we had to dodge them to get to our car. We barely made it.

We couldn't find the police station, so we drove to a woman's house to visit with her. This woman had hundreds of cats dressed in varying outfits. However, the cats were the size of large mice. They were on the back of the couch, on shelves and running everywhere on the floor.  My father was sitting in an easy chair trying to dress one of the cats in a fire fighter outfit. 

After marveling at several of the costumed kitties, I eventually became bored and began to photograph the children that were running around the house. I don't know where they came from, but it seemed normal in the dream. Every time I would get ready to take a picture they would make a terrified face, wait for the shot and then run off laughing.

Eventually, my youngest brother Trevor came out of a back room with one of the children and said it was time to leave. I climbed into the back of a police car (driven by John Kiselewski, a deputy I worked with at the Sheriff's Department) and we sped away.

Actual photo of strip mall in Harrisburg, IL
40 miles from my home. (3-1-2012)
After several minutes, I noticed we approached a town that had been destroyed. Trees were knocked down and houses were decimated. The devastating Midwest storms from a couple of weeks ago happened 40 miles from my home. It was raining furiously. I asked where we were and he told me, "This is Yellow Ash." I have never heard of Yellow Ash in real life. There is a White Ash 30 miles south of here. In the dream, I was familiar with it and it was way off course from where I wanted to go.

When we stopped, I was asked to wait inside a high school. My daughter and I stood in the kitchen discussing where her boyfriend's drug use took place. Finally, we got back to the purpose for this adventure. Once she told me where it had happened, I realized that I had been trying to get to the wrong police station. I had been trying to get to the county police department, when the offense had happened within the city limits. This meant we should have been headed to the city police department.

As I was trying to explain my mistake to my daughter, a Secret Service agent walks in to the kitchen and asks us to stand back. As I step to the side, people begin filing into the kitchen. One of them was Rick Santorum. Santorum had just been in our town that day delivering a speech at the airport. This was a current presidential candidate, so I wanted to shake his hand, but he had a coat covering it. I reached out and pulled the coat away as he passed. Despite the dirty looks from the Secret Service agents, he knew what I wanted, shook my hand and walked out the back door.

At this point, I woke up.

Now, I am left with the dilemma of trying to figure this out. Was this dream trying to tell me that I need to find out more about my daughter's boyfriend? Why was the type of drugs never mentioned?

Why was the shooting only a side note in the dream?

Was it telling me who to vote for...or not vote for?

Is it guilt for not volunteering to help with the relief efforts in Harrisburg?

Since Red is dreaming about me, why did she not make an appearance in my dream?

Of all the cops I have worked with, why was Kiselewski the one driving the car?

Why did the cat woman's house suddenly fill with children? Why did we go there to begin with?

Why did the children make the horrified face before every picture?

What was the significance of the coat over Rick Santorum's hand? Does it matter?

Someone help me out here.


  1. Well, clearly the kids are mocking you with their horrified looks, knowing that you don't want to be with little kids.
    Maybe you have been denying some underlying concerns about Kirsten or the boyfriend.

    One thing I learned about dreams is that you should consider yourself in each role. YOU are the crazy cat lady. YOU are the cop. Also, dreams are egocentric. So consider what about Rick Santorum reminds you of yourself, and what about the officer reminds you of yourself.

    As for me? Obviously I was not high on your priority list before you went to sleep. That, or it's all about me because "if this does progress..."blah blah, then the empty nest syndrome will be less empty than you expect!

    1. I have mixed relationships with kids. The kids in the neighborhood LOVE me, although I can never figure out why. I am actually kind of rude to them. They come running into my yard when I come home and have picnics in MY front yard. When I tell them to go away, they laugh. They think I am funny.

      I told the boyfriend about my dream and that I am watching him now. I am not sure what he thinks of me yet. I have already threatened to kill him, but he still comes around.

      The officer is the one deputy that was from the same home town as me. We never really had any connection other than that, but maybe it meant something.

      Your empty nest theory is definitely worth taking a second look at. I have always said I will be perfectly content to be alone in the house, but now that it is getting closer, maybe I am beginning to re-examine that.

      I wondered what I was going to blog about today and after this dream, I thought it would make for good blog fodder. I never take dreams seriously, but now you are making me think.

    2. Oh, and was there drug use or random shootings in the movie? Your brain may have just regurgitated the last thing it saw. You said it was a bad movie. Ever have a bad meal come back later? Same thing for your Psyche.

    3. There may have been. I gave up on the movie after an hour.

      I'm pretty sure recent events brought on Santorum and the destroyed town.

    4. There was drug use. I don't remember any shooting.

      Tonight, I will attempt to concentrate my dreams away from Santorum (or any other politician).

  2. You could always try looking up the different details of the dreams online. Even different colors and objects can symbolize different things. Granted, it's not always right, but sometimes things start to make since.

    1. I have never actually tried to decipher my dreams. I know where some of the stuff came from, but this one actually had an ongoing purpose rather than just a bunch of disconnected scenes.

      I will look some of them up. I am curious now.

  3. So did you have enchiladas too for dinner? :)

    1. No. I made a tuna chowder. It was very good.

      Although, it was heavy on the cayenne pepper.

  4. Ha! It's just a random dream with a little Santorum thrown in. Yikes.
    I can't believe you were so close to that storm. How scary.
    I think the moral of the dream is "Don't leave Rick Santorum alone with children"

  5. Okay first you need to tell me what you were drinking ;)

    Just kidding. But you know, a lot of people report that they have strange dreams when they eat Tuna.

    I think this was just a dream about your anxieties about your daughter growing up. Look how you began your post, after all. Shootings, drugs, tons of children, disasters, politics - all of this is the dangerous world she will face as an adult. You needed the police along for various reason but it reflects your anxiety that you won't be protecting her correctly, and that she won't be telling you everything you need to know. Forcing the politician to shake your hand is like trying to force the world to agree to behave as it should.

    1. My daughter did not like this interpretation.

      I, however, think you may be on to something.

  6. With ol' Ricky there it wasn't a nightmare?

    Fair enough... :p

    1. I am guessing he was in the dream because he had just been in our town that day. Since I had heard his name so many times, he was in my brain.

  7. As long as it didn't involve murdering anyone with an axe...I think you are good.

  8. I have a couple theories about this - but first of all I just loved this sentence:

    "Like most people I dream in my sleep."

    Did you mean it to be funny? Or is it one of those times that my mind is adding a little sparkle to something that is ordinary?

    On to my theories... I think you actually did celebrate St. Paddy's and are confusing your foggy mind state with your dream state.

    Or, I think you ate too much cabbage (just a random food selection - but I imagine cabbage is powerful enough to create crazy dreams).

    Those are the only two theories I have to offer.

    The only time I would consider giving any sort of importance to your dreams, would be if Red featured in them throughout lol... If that were the case I would tell you that you should pay close attention to them and record them diligently...

    And I do hope she becomes the central theme tonight!

    1. I don't really believe that there is any significance to dreams. This one was bizarre enough, I thought I would write about it.

      I did intend that line to be funny. Subtle, but funny.

    2. I liked it ;-)

  9. I read this boring book about dream analysis, and it was over 400 pages that can be summarized in one sentence. Your dream means whatever you think it means. The end. As simple as that. However, I am not sure if I believe that. For example, months ago, I had a dream a calf approached me and was trying to tell me something. Friends told me it was a strange dream that meant nothing. I believed it was telling me to become a vegan, and that's just what I did.

    1. I think it was a British calf and it wanted your help to be sure it wasn't turned into a baseball glove. He hates baseball.

  10. I'm no good with dreams (except for having them), but I read that dreams are your brain practicing its moves for future events.

    Apparently this is the evolutionary benefit of dreaming - if we learned how to hide from something moving through the long grass in our dreams, we might survive real-life tiger encounters later on, and pass our genes on.

    Maybe your brain is practising for some future sources of stress, somehow?

    1. My biggest obstacle throughout was getting to the place I wanted to be. Maybe I need to always carry a map.

  11. Pretty sure Freud would say that your Id and your Superego were at odds and you secretly felt jealous of your father.

    You're welcome.

    1. I didn't give his appearance any significance, did I?

      My dad IS living the retired life cruising around the country in an RV.

  12. I'm going to spend the day analyzing your cryptic dream along with mine. ;)

    1. Good luck. I still don't think it makes any sense.

  13. Sorry I'm so late on this. I read it before and didn't really have any advice, but now I have to share my dream with YOU. I dreamed last night that Christian Slater was guest bartending at a college and then came and hung out at a table with my friends and then we all went to some party because it was halloween, but what I thought was going to be a raucous party, because the girl we were going with was dressed all slutty, was actually her grandma's house and we just sat around with her family and there were crafts and stuffed animals all around us.

    So . . . what the hell do you make of all that, then?

    I usually have dreams about looking for something and not being able to find it, or more regularly, driving somewhere on a twisty road and not being able to stop or going too fast or something. I looked it up and it means I'm facing some turmoil and I'm unsure of some decisions or something, which is usually true in real life, so maybe those dream interpretations are onto something. Or maybe they are like horoscopes and are so general they always apply to something in your life. Who knows!

    1. I have never put much faith in them, because I think your dreams are too personalized. What things represent are not universal? A book may say that sheep represent purity, but if you grew up on a sheep farm then they may represent money or food.

      However, I will try.

      Christian Slater used to be one of the top Hollywood men, but is now slowly disappearing into Hollywood obscurity. This means that you are concerned about whether you have left your mark in the world in any significant way. If you haven't, you are concerned that there may not be enough time.

      The slutty dressed girl represents your yearning to be more outgoing and fun-loving. The anticipated trip for the night was to be one of those adventures. Since you ended up at an old woman's house it illustrates how you just fall back into familiar patterns rather than pursue your hopes and dreams. The crafts and stuffed animals represent the safety and security of familiar patterns and environments.

      How did I do?

    2. Wow. That is an interesting interpretation. Some might be true. But not really all of it. I like what you did with it, though. I may have to call you up the next time I have a really bizarre dream! :)

    3. It was fun.

      I think the books may have some truth to them, but you may be right. They are often general enough that they could apply to almost anyone.


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