As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
I have this problem inside my head. I don't know if other people have the same issue because I've only ever been inside my own head, but I know it causes problems for me. My have great difficulty keeping my mind on task. It's not that I'm easily distracted. It's that my mind tends to wander. And it wanders far. Like "goes on epic quests" far. It's all over the place in my head.
I don't know how many times I will be telling my wife about how I plan to tackle a possible future scenario that will probably never happen. I know that I have something coming up in the future and have already considered all the possible outcomes and how I will approach them. I have also dreamed about all the reactions I may get from other people and how I will specifically address those concerns. She lets me talk for a long time without pointing out that I have stepped very far from reality.
It's like I checked out
Luckily, I have a job where my mind can go on autopilot. Soon after I start my task, my brain takes me for a ride. I remember old conversations and play them over and over in my head. I replay them with me responding in different ways to give it a better outcome. I think about movies I've seen and imagine how I would have responded if in that situation.
It just doesn't stop
When in school (elementary, high and college), something said by the instructor would send my mind on an adventure. I might be fighting pirates, killing zombies, delivering the perfect pick-up line to the cute girl in front of me, riding a polar bear or playing an awesome guitar solo in the gymnasium.
I also have a tendency to start to think about something in the future and my mind gets so far away from me that I start making plans as though this has actually happened. For example, winning the lottery, book getting published, my car being vandalized, etc. I have to snap back to reality and remember that I just took a trip for a few minutes. Stop and look around at what's real.
Lately, since I am working on a book, my mind tends to drift straight to it as soon as it has a chance. When I'm at work, I come up with scores of possible scenarios and have the time to figure out how to work them into my story and how to solve the problems of my protagonist. I'm starting to think having this wild imagination may finally be starting to work in my favor. I just have to keep it focused.
As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
I have a sickness. It's something that developed in my pre-teens and I've never been able to get past it. I'm a collector. Specifically, a set collector.
This means that if I have more than one of something, I have to have the entire set. Something is missing from my life if I don't have every one of them. My earliest memories of this involved McDonald's Happy Meals. The Happy Meals always include a toy. It was usually come cheap little trinket, but whatever you got was usually one of four possible toys. It wasn't enough for me to have the toy I had, I "needed" to have the others as well. This wasn't about greed. I just had to complete the set.
A small portion of my collection. I still have these today.
Years later when I started buying things for myself, I got caught up in buying music. Like many people, if I heard a song or group that I liked, I bought the album (I never bought singles). But having that music that I liked wasn't enough. I had to own every single album they ever recorded. I didn't discover Van Halen until they released 1984. I loved that album until I discovered they had been around since 1978 and released four albums before that one. I had to have them to stop the pain in my soul.
I've since learned that the correct term for this is being a completist.
This is definitely me. I have to try every flavor of Mt Dew even if I only like the original. I need entire movie collections, even if the third one sucked (Beverly Hills Cop). If I find an author I like, I have to read everything they ever wrote before I can move onto another one. If I only own two properties of a color in Monopoly, I will let you do unspeakable things to me in order to acquire that third property. It's a sickness. I have to have it to make the shouting in my head quiet down.
Sometimes, it takes the fun out of what is supposed to be a enjoyable activity. Take video games, for example.
I have done this exact thing! It takes me forever to beat a video game because I don't feel like I am getting the entire experience if I don't complete everything. I have found every single flag in Assassin's Creed and those things are not easy to find. I spent literally hundreds of hours just meticulously canvasing the entire map to ensure that none were left behind. Until my stats can show that I have a 100% completion on a game, it has not been beaten. For the Grand Theft Auto franchise, this takes years.
Although, this trait isn't all drawbacks. It does have its advantages. My wife is grateful for my completionist attitude when it comes to foreplay. I make sure to cover everything.
As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
People don't usually believe me when I say this, but I do not get bored. EVER. It just doesn't happen. I am always able to entertain myself, even when I can't actually do anything due to surrounding circumstances. Boredom is just not an option and I have trouble understanding how it happens to people.
There is a reason for this. Boredom was not permitted in our house growing up. My father wouldn't allow for it. He had a very good argument. My brothers and I had a lot of toys. Our shelves were filled with books (there was even a Playboy in our closet, but they didn't know about that). There was a television. We had video games (pre-Nintendo years, but we had some). AND we lived out in the country where there were literally thousands of things that can be done outside. Add to all of this the fact that there were three of us, it should not have been difficult for us to keep ourselves and each other entertained.
I don't quite remember how he said it, but my dad took it a little further. It wasn't just that there was plenty to do. He also suggested that someone who was not capable of entertaining himself or herself had something wrong with him. A busy mind is not a mind that gets bored. Even if you can't do what you want, your mind can still occupy itself. If you were incapable of avoiding boredom, it meant that you were maybe not very intelligent.
This was his version of motivation.
Living where we did, there was plenty of work to be done at any time. If someone suggested boredom, Dad would give him something to do to occupy his time and there was no shortage of chores.
My little brother Trevor working the fields
Mow the lawn
Shovel manure out of the barn
Pick some tomatoes or go snap green beans
Rake leaves or grass
Wash and wax the car
Feed the horses, chickens, dogs, goats
Weed the garden
Water mom's plants
Find your missing brother
Vacuum the floors
Pick up pears or apples that had fallen from tree
Go paint the whatever (something always needed painting)
We learned at a very young age that we weren't to ever suggest that we were bored or we would end up doing something we would rather not be doing. However, it was much more than learning not to say it. We learned to entertain ourselves and often we were made to entertain ourselves in ways that we hadn't chosen. We had a television and video games, but weren't permitted to use them all the time. For a large part of our childhood, we were allowed one hour of television per day. There was a variety of reasons for this, but it meant we had to find ways to entertain ourselves rather than just sitting back and being entertained. Because our option to be bored was taken away from us, we adapted to the point that it honestly ceased to exist. Boredom is no longer an option for me because I don't know how to do it.
So much entertainment is handed to people today, many find it difficult to engage with actual life when that device is removed. Whether it be a computer, television, tablet or cellphone, it is still possible for a person's mind to function and interact with their surroundings. However, this is a learned trait. I love my electronics, but am so grateful to my parents for teaching me to never be bored and always be entertained by the world around me.
As a participant in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I will be making my way through the alphabet all month.
I feel like I've led a pretty full life. I really don't have any complaints. There are still many things that I would like to do (see Mila Kunis naked, in person) before my time here is over, but it's been a great ride so far. Some of my greatest memories involve how hungry my brothers and I were for excitement in our younger years. It seems that every time we left our house, we were in for an adventure and the possibility of stitches or an emergency room were no deterrent.
I have written in past posts about how we all wanted to be stuntmen when we grew up. Despite none of us actually pursuing that career in our adult lives, we believed it wholeheartedly well into our teenage years and practiced rigorously. We jumped out of moving vehicles to dive into snow banks. We intentionally rolled vehicles. We practiced getting hit by cars. We lit ourselves on fire. We jumped from vehicle to vehicle on the highway. We threw ourselves off roofs, barns, and anything else we could find. We were the ones who climbed the water tower, jumped on passing trains, crashed trucks through barn walls, and tried out the bike ramps that others thought looked too scary. We saw our share of emergency rooms, but the adrenaline rush was well worth it.
I do what I do because it is what I do and not what you do. That's all you need to know.
Today, I still have that yearning for adventure, but it is much tamer. Seeing some action now usually involves what happens in my bedroom after dark. Sometimes, before it's dark…and it's not always in the bedroom.
Action for me now also involves seeing new places and having new experiences. I would like to walk on the Great Wall of China someday, but doubt I'll have a yearning to jump off it or ramp a motorcycle over it. All those trips to the emergency room have wreaked havoc on my body and I've been known to take my time just stepping off a sidewalk curb. I don't want to jar my back or twist an ankle.
My wife and I have found a new to have some adventure in a way that is significantly low-impact. It involves a little daring and sometimes quick reflexes, but there is little concern for injury. All we need is ourselves, a camera and the right location.
Dead Horse Point State Park
Utah - October 2014
I know this isn't for everyone, but we have a great time doing it. We find a beautiful place. Locate a secluded spot and then get naked to snap a few pictures. This has become our new favorite vacation activity and it provides the adrenaline rush I have missed from my younger years without putting myself in grave danger.
Only three of these pictures have ever been seen by others and never really show anything. It's just fun to be known as the crazy couple and our growing collection of canvas prints is getting rather impressive.
Never show up at a party already naked. It should happen organically.
I'm beginning to fear that I have forgotten how to write. Something is different. I have spent the last couple of weeks prepping for the A to Z Challenge and pre-writing many of the posts. I have also spent considerable amount of time reading many of my older posts and there is a significant difference between my writing today and the writing I was doing as recently as two years ago.
The humor and sarcasm just isn't coming to me as easily as it did before. My writing feels flat and I'm not sure what to do about it. I have been compiling the book that I want to write this year and have the entire story worked out, but don't want to start the writing until I feel that I have regained that snarky voice that I used to have. I thought that, maybe, I was just out of practice, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's something more. So, I have made a list of things that have changed since I last appreciated the results of my writing.
I have moved from Illinois to Indiana.
My kids have moved out.
I have gotten married.
I got a vasectomy.
Let's examine these separately.
I have moved from Illinois to Indiana. To people outside of the Midwest, it may seem like the Midwest is the Midwest and there really isn't any difference. From Nebraska to Ohio, it's all the same. Well, you could not be more wrong. Well, I guess you "could" be more wrong. If you said eating a dog turd was no different than flying a helicopter that would definitely be more wrong. So, let's just say that your way of thinking is does not align with the facts. You cannot honestly compare a small farming town with inner city Chicago or Cleveland (you really shouldn't compare anything with Cleveland). The personality of the big cities aren't even the same. Davenport, Iowa is nothing like Cincinnati, Ohio. Louisville, Kentucky is considered the 8th largest cultural center in the country. Bet you didn't know that. Omaha has nothing in common with Chicago…and Illinois and Indiana are not the same.
For instance, while Indiana has its issues, Illinois is in a class almost by itself. Do a Google search for the most corrupt states in the country and Illinois is always in the top five. Several polls rank Illinois at the second most corrupt. Usually beaten out only by Arizona. Yes, I was born and raised in the state that had to put 4 out of its last 7 governors in prison. My home state. And I saw it in my county and town as well.
With all this cheating and lying being displayed by my trusted leaders, it's no wonder sarcasm and talking out the side of my mouth came naturally to me. However, now I live in Indiana which has become known as the bigot state since I have moved here. This is thanks to the RFRA Law which was passed last year. Whether someone is for or against this law, the arguments on each side have been blown way out of proportion and it has become one of those issues that causes many people to just avoid discussions about it. Regardless of your stance, a public expression of your opinion will bring a storm of vitriolic condemnation your direction. So, maybe I'm not as loose with my lips fingers as I used to be.
I also went from small town living to living in the big city. Indianapolis is the 13th largest city in the country with over 850,000 people. Since I grew up in the country outside of a town of about 700, that takes some getting used to. It's taking much longer to learn everyone's names than I expected.
Next, my kids have moved out. This is a significant life change. So many of the blog posts I wrote centered around my kids. Plus, they kept me on my toes. They didn't just give me things to write about, they drove me crazy. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. My mind had to be sharp to keep up and make sure they didn't get away with anything. However, I am much better rested now. No more staying up late wondering where they are and coming up with schemes to make their lives miserable. I'll bet they miss me.
I have gotten married. Now, this is a huge life change. I actually met my wife through this blog and every step of our meeting and dating process can be found in some of my earlier posts. However, once we lived in the same state, my writing really slowed down and once we got married, I only posted 5 times in the entire next year. FIVE TIMES! This is from a guy who posted every single day for 3 months straight.
I've noticed there's a lot less pizza boxes and burrito wrappers around my chair since I've gotten married.
Now, getting married may have slowed me down, but I doubt it is what removed the humor. My wife and I spend a lot of time laughing and the jokes never seem to stop coming. I just wasn't writing for a while. She also sees to it that I get out of the house now and then to have an adventure. I've seen and experienced plenty of things worth writing about.
Last, I got a vasectomy. I actually paid someone to take a scalpel and cut into my ball-sack and root around in there. This was a less than pleasant experience, but it didn't last very long. I was soon back up on my feet, but this was also during the time when I wasn't writing and I wonder if that may have been the moment that something left me.
I know that I am now sterile, but could it be in more way than one? Could he have snipped a nerve that contributes to my funny? Where did my funny even come from? I've heard it said many times that men can only think with their penis. If that's true, it's very possible that this surgery severed the route to my typing fingers and changed everything. The Road to Gonad has been permanently closed.
I feel like I'm on to something, but it will take a little experimentation to test this theory. Stay Tuned.
I have decided this year to take on a monumental task I have only done once before. I will be participating in the A to Z Challenge on my blog. I last did this in 2013 and (although challenging) I loved it. Plus, it really stretches you as a writer. It forces you to not only come up with content, but you have to write even when you don't feel like it if you plan to complete the challenge.
Basically, the challenge is to post every day in the month of April (except Sundays) with a letter corresponding to the day.
Today, March 21, is intended to be the Theme Reveal day for the challenge and I had to put a lot of thought into this. A few years ago, my blog had many more followers and an impressive amount of daily traffic, but my life took a change and my writing dropped off drastically. I even went almost an entire year without a single post and my fan base dwindled almost as low as Jared Fogle's. I have only started writing again this year and am hoping to start winning my readers back.
I've noticed as I write now that my writing quality has diminished since I have been out of practice. On the other hand, my eating skills have grown to a monumentally impressive level. Writing just doesn't come as easy and since I am planning to write my first book this year, I need to get it back up to where it was. This challenge will keep me on task to make sure I build the writing habit back up again and with my hands busy on the keyboard, they have less time to push doughnuts into my face. This is what guided my choice of theme for the month of April.
My theme is going to center around my favorite topic: ME!
Each day will be a quality that reveals part of who I am. Since I hope to be getting new readers with this challenge and am rebuilding my blogging base, this will be a way to introduce people to the author of this blog. I'm excited to get started.
I am finally jumping on a task that I have intended to do for years, but for some reason never started. I'm writing a book. A real book with plot, characters and maybe even a conflict or two. I'm finally going to do it. It is #4 on my Bucket List and I probably need to cross something off of it now and then.
One of the many problems with taking on a task of this size is the knowledge that I have never done this before and have no idea what I am doing. When I first started a few weeks ago, all I had was a yearning to finally write a book.
OK. I believe that is step one. ☑
Unfortunately, I really didn't know what I wanted to write. Over the years, I always thought that when I wrote a book, it would be a collection of stories from my childhood. I have hundreds of stories that would be fun to tell, but that would really just be my blog in book form. I needed a story.
I decided I was going to tackle fiction. That's another step accomplished. ☑
Obviously, at this rate I wasn't going to get anywhere. So, I really started to spend some time with this. I know I can tell a story well. I've gotten lots of feedback from my blog posts, I just need a longer story. Then, one night lying in bed, it hit me. There is a genre that I am intimately familiar with. I love movies, TV shows and books about the topic. I really think I could give it my own twist. I immediately jumped out of bed to jot down a few ideas. I crashed into the dresser first, but once I stopped the bleeding and convinced my wife I hadn't just been attacked, I jotted down the ideas.
The next day at work, I started building the world of my book in my mind. I even paused now and then to write down some things I didn't want to forget. Since I am a humor writer, the ideas for jokes are coming to me faster than actual plot points. In the world I have created, I can see all sorts of scenarios where the jokes will come easy and I want to include them in the book, but I have no idea yet what the plot will be to make these scenarios happen.
So, I called up a high school friend Jessica Patch, who is now a successful published author and all-around good person, to pick her brain a little. I mainly wanted to know a little about her process. When do you actually start writing? Do you have the whole plot worked out before you start crafting the story? Do you need to know who all your characters already are or can the back story develop in your mind as you're writing? Is this much crying normal? How do you get melted cheese out of your keyboard?
Jessica graciously and expertly shared the answers to all my questions and gave me tips about lots of information I hadn't even considered yet. She recommended a couple of books to help me shape my story structure and offered to be of any future assistance. It was a very productive phone call.
The next day, I couldn't even concentrate on work. The ideas just started flowing. I now know my main characters. I know their families and coworkers and the plot is starting to come together. I can actually see the layout of the small town where this takes place and have begun having conversations with several of the characters in my head. It's exciting and also a little creepy. I have this fictitious existence floating around in my brain that I keep finding myself escaping to. That phone call with Jessica just opened up something in my head.
Now, I feel like it's time to start writing. I just need to break it to my wife that I will be moving south to stay with Jessica's family until the book is completed.
My wife and I watched an amazing movie a few nights ago and I cannot recommend it enough. The movie "Room" is based on the book of the same name by Emma Donoghue. It wonderfully captures the impact of imagination, sacrifice, human resilience and love.
I'm going to try to do this without giving away any spoilers. Room tells the story of 5 year old Jack, a boy who was born inside a tiny room and has never been outside of it. He has a television, but has no real concept of the world. He has only interacted with his mother, who has been a prisoner in this room for the last seven years.
Jack is the narrator of the story and the author did an amazing job of showing how Jack views "the world." He doesn't really understand that there is anything outside of the room. Even with his television, he has trouble understanding the concepts of real versus pretend. Many children of his age struggle with this, but he has bigger obstacles to overcome. He often gets angry when his mother tries to explain things to him, because he has no real-world experience to base anything on.
However, the real story is not inside the room. It's all about what happens once they get out. Watching Jack experience the world for the first time. Seeing him struggle with seeing things in three-dimensions that he had only seen on television before. Learning how to interact with other people. Seeing how his imagination is different from other children his age.
However, the scene that keeps replaying in my mind Jack wasn't even in. It revolved around his mother. A person asks her a question about why she made one of the choices that she made while captive. This question made me angry for the mother. It was a legitimate question. I can understand why someone would wonder, but it was asked with a judging tone. All I could think was, "Lady, you weren't there?" She made the best decisions that she could based upon the situation she was in and the knowledge that she had.
I can't help but apply this to real life. How many times have I looked at someone and thought "how could they?"
People's actions, attitudes and words are very, very rarely dictated solely by the circumstances of the present moment. When I see someone doing something that I disagree with, I am only seeing it through my perspective, based on my knowledge, through the lens of my background and experiences, and using my culture, family upbringing and traditions to color how I perceive the situation. We all do this.
I'm not suggesting that there is no right and wrong and that it is all relative, but I am saying that we need to give each other a lot more benefit of the doubt. In the movie, people would often get frustrated with Jack when he would not respond to things in an "appropriate" manner, but there was a very good reason for his behaviors.
When I was teaching, I had a very disruptive student. He was not mean, he was just very loud and seemed to have no concept of other's feelings or taking turns. It was difficult to work with him. Later, I met his family and quickly understood why he did the things he did. It's all he knew. He wasn't being mean or even rude. He was acting in the way that had been modeled for him since birth. He had no idea that his behavior was inappropriate. Just having this perspective made my job easier and I was able to be more understanding with him and help him to adjust to life outside of his home.
These issues don't just occur with "problem" situations. Sometimes, it may be a cultural difference. The Chinese consider looking into the eyes of a person to be extremely rude. In the U.S., we are taught that not looking into the eyes of the person you are talking to is rude. So, often when people of these cultures meet, they think we are being too assertive and we think they aren't paying attention and both sides consider the other rude.
The reason my ex-mother-in-law was so scared of everything was because she was raised by a woman whose father was the chief of police at a very dangerous time and took down a major criminal. Their household received death threats all the time and they lived under fear of arson, kidnapping, and murder. Her fear was learned from a very young age. Other people just deciding that she is a chicken creates barriers instead of relationships.
The complexities of human behavior can not usually be broken down very simply, but we could all try to be a little more understanding. When a person is in disagreement with you (or me) about how to do something, it doesn't mean they're stupid. It just means they have a different mindset and bank of past experiences. We can even apply this to the political process of today.
Regardless of how you feel about any of the candidates running for president, it is not true that all of the followers of __________ are morons. It doesn't mean they are racists, socialists, hate-filled, naive, feminists, or any other labels we may want to apply to them. It just means that they see some qualities in the candidate that ring true for them because of their view of the world.
We are never going to agree with anyone 100% of the time, but we can choose how we react to disagreements and how we treat other people. Maybe if we spent a little more time working on relationships, the world would make more sense. The more we get to know and understand others, the wider our perspective becomes.
I love those lists that are designed to make you feel old. The ones that tell you how long it has been since something significant happened. For example, everyone knows that Fuller House is on Netflix now, but did you know it has been 21 years since the last episode of Full House? I mean, the Olson twins are 29 years old now. That's crazy.
January 28, 2016 marked thirty years since the Challenger exploded. Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire all the way back in 1984. It's reminders like this that give credence to the saying 'Time flies'. I am halfway through my forties and remember high school like I just left there this morning. Of course, trauma will do that to a person.
With time flying along at breakneck speed, it is not uncommon for someone to occasionally discover that their entire life resembles the opening scene from the movie Up. It just flies by and suddenly you are much older. And getting older has plenty of new adventures (besides wrinkles and devout attention to lawn serenity) that come along with it.
Now, I don't mind getting older. Wrinkles don't bother me and I welcome graying hair. I've never really been one of the cool kids, so I'm not at all concerned with being considered un-hip by the younger generation, but there is one part I could do without.
I am in pain all the time!
Why does everything hurt? Different pains come and go, but I am never completely pain free. I have two bad shoulders that I've been told will eventually have to have surgery. When one of them is acting up, I can't lift my arm without horrible stabbing pain through half my body. I am getting arthritis everywhere. Not just my hands, but everywhere. Today, I can't make a fist with my left hand. It won't close. For three days this week, I couldn't turn my head to the left. Earlier this week, I shot awake in the middle of the night because it felt like an Asian ceremonial elephant carrying a wedding party had stepped on my knee. It came out of nowhere and my knee was swollen for two days.
I'm "I was up all night because of a pain in my toe" years old.
My ankle will swell up and get bruised for no reason. I've thrown out my back opening the refrigerator door and I once pulled a muscle in my neck while I was flossing. I need about 10 minutes notice before I get out of bed to give my body time to psych itself up and my legs fall asleep 15 seconds after sitting on the toilet. I have no idea what is going on, but think it is all tied to my age.
My shoulder feels like it's trying to gnaw its way off of my body. Is this what getting old feels like?
Add these aches and pains to the fact that I have a fairly physical job and I can't help but laugh at how broken I feel. I remember the good old days when I could break my leg jumping out of a moving car and it would be healed before dinner that night. Today, a paper cut is almost guaranteed an infection and will fester up to look like a gunshot wound before I can get it under control.
Sleeping pills combined with painkillers have become my favorite after dinner snack to help me get through the nights and I am beginning to have an opinion on the controversial medical marijuana issue. I don't know what all it's supposed to be good for, but if it would help with all these pains, let's light 'em up. Hopefully, there will be a delivery service within the next few years like there is for pizza.
It's that time of year again. The crystals fall from the sky and glisten in the moonlight as they settle on the ice-covered pond behind my apartment. The icicles hang everywhere there is an edge to grab onto and the white snow stretches as far as the eye can see. Winter can be seen everywhere and more than anyone else I hate it.
I despise winter down to the very core of my being. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I hate being cold. I hate being bundled up with extra clothing and layers. I hate space heaters (I'm always worried they'll catch fire). I hate the increased chances of slipping and breaking a bone. I hate the dangerous driving conditions. I hate the decreased visibility. I hate the extra time that must be considered to get to work, to prep your car before leaving, to get dressed before exiting the house and the extra time required to shake the outside off your clothing so you don't bring it inside. Not taking these things into consideration can and do result in death in for many people every winter and I HATE IT.
WINTER SUCKS!!!
I have felt this way my entire adult life and really don't know why I haven't moved to a warmer climate. I did live in San Juan, Puerto Rico for one year, but my son was allergic to the island and we had to come back. It was so much better to look at palm trees at Christmas time than dirty snow piled on the side of the road.
I now work for Amazon which has fulfillment centers almost everywhere. Maybe if I give them a little bit of time, I can transfer to a climate where I won't have to worry about my hand freezing to something I touch. In the meantime, I will spend my time making sure my car is stocked with rock salt, sand, kitty litter, candles, blankets, drinking water, granola bars, lock de-icer, a first aid kit, a shovel, jumper cables, road flares, a fire extinguisher, MREs, and basic tools.
After being out of the blogging habit for over a year, I am finding it difficult to know what to write about. When I was writing all the time, I had no shortage of topics to choose from. Inspiration was all around me. I wrote posts based off a commercial I saw or off the tail end of a news story on the radio.
I kept a notebook in my back pocket to write down ideas as I had them. And I always had them. It's amazing what building a habit can do for you. All week long, I knew I had to write a post this weekend and a topic never came to me. So, now it's time to write and I've got nothing.
While it has been painfully obvious by the gaping void in my blog that I haven't paid much attention to it in the last year, it doesn't mean I haven't been writing at all. I have have been, but it has just been in much shorter bursts. 140 character bursts to be exact.
I spend a lot of time on Twitter. I love Twitter. I get excited when I
get new followers. I love it when one of my favorite accounts retweets
me or follows me back. Or when a known celebrity (not an internet celebrity) comments on something I said. It gives me a high that lasts for days.
If Twitter has taught me anything, it's that people outside the world of Twitter have no respect for what we do here.
I understand that it's shallow and doesn't really have any meaning in everyday life, but I'm addicted. I can't wait to grab my phone each morning before heading to the bathroom to get caught up on the last Twitter trends while I evacuate my bowels.
I sat on the toilet playing with my phone so long this morning, my legs are just now waking up.
If you can't already tell, I am a little obsessed and I enjoy this obsession. I may be back in the blogging world now, but I have no intention of giving up Twitter. I'm getting to the point that I have an impressive number of followers and several of my tweets have gotten the attention of other websites. As someone who loves attention, I can't help but enjoy this.
I love the hashtag wars. I love participating in new joke formats. I love taking the days headlines and trying to find some humor in it. Plus, with all the negativity out there that is so easy to find, having this release is refreshing.
They say "Revenge is a dish best served cold"
But that was before microwaves. I think revenge is best served warmed & poured over ice cream
If you have a Twitter account consider giving me a follow. I can promise you won't learn anything from me, but I'll try to give you a laugh. I also retweet a lot of other funny people on my account.
Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.
The last time I posted was November 30, 2014. 2014! Not 2015, but 2014. And thanks to our friends at the GCC (Gregorian Calendar Commission), it switched to 2016 a few days ago. Plus, if I understand the mission of the GCC, their intent is to keep time moving forward like this for all eternity, so we just have to live with it until another viable competitor can offer other options.
November 30, 2014 was 398 days ago! 398 days is the length of one year, one month and one day. That was the last time I posted. I think I've eaten an entire cow's worth of cheeseburgers since then. That is a long time for someone who earlier that year stated that he was back in the blogging world.
To make it even worse, I only wrote three more posts after that one before taking my 398 day hiatus. I think this is one piece in a long list of evidence that shows I have trouble doing something just to do it. I need a bit more of a reason.
So, here's my reason. I loved writing my blog once I was writing regularly. I found myself thinking about posts all the time. I took notes and pictures during the day for something that would be included in a post later that night or week. I loved it. I enjoyed the creative outlet. However, it wasn't just something I liked. It was part of my daily habit and now that my schedule has changed, I have time to make a new habit. That's why I can claim this is not a New Year's resolution. The timing is just good right now. Resolutions are doomed to fail anyway.
I loved coming up with topics and fashioning my thoughts into something I believed would be worth reading. I would get so excited when I picked up new followers and really enjoyed many of the new friendships (several of which I still maintain) that grew out of this endeavor.
However, the part I enjoyed the most was seeing how my writing was improving because of all the practice I was getting. There was a definite difference between my early posts and the posts two years later. Just like anything else, if you want to get better at something, it takes practice and since I still have the dream of being published one day, I need to practice.
As much much as I remember how much I enjoyed all this, jumping back in doesn't just happen. Those happy memories are not part of my practice anymore. They are just happy memories. I can recapture them, but I have to develop the habit again. So, I have a plan.
For the time being, I am committing to one post per week. Currently, I am off work on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturday, so I will use one of those days to write. I will eventually bump it up to two days and then we'll just see where it goes from there.
I figure I have lost the vast majority of my followers who I left behind and will have to earn them back. I also know that in order to do that, I have to do more than write. I also have to re-establish my presence in the blogging community. So, I will be sure to start reading blogs again. That I can do all week long.
So, for the few of you that are left to even notice this post (since it's been over a year since my last one), I look forward to speaking with you all again.
Over the weekend, political correctness hit a new high (or low, depending on how you look at it).
It is a long standing tradition for the president to pardon a
Thanksgiving turkey. I understand the humor in the tradition, but have
always thought it to be a little silly since being eaten is typically
what domesticated turkeys have been bred and raised for.
In the last few years, many city mayors have started doing this on a local level and sending a turkey to go live the rest of
its years on a farm somewhere with the turkeys pardoned in previous
years. However, this past Thanksgiving, the mayor of Seattle decided to
show of the eccentricity of his city by pardoning two tofurkeys. Not
just one, but two. Read the story here.
For those
of you who may not know, a tofurkey is a turkey-shaped hunk of tofu and
wheat protein which has never and will never be alive. This makes the
'pardoning' kind of…well, pointless. If you disagree with me about the
validity of this strangeness, consider this. The tofurkeys were then
donated to a food bank to be fed to the homeless at a local shelter.
This means they were never even actually pardoned to begin with. They are still going to be eaten!
On the upside, if for any reason I was ever in a position where the only
way I could have a Thanksgiving dinner would be from a shelter or a
community food drive and they served me tofurkey, it just might be the
jolt I needed to get my life back on track.
Since I work in a school, I have a few fantastic perks. The best one being that I have summers off. I don't get paid during this time, but having that time off is wonderful. I gives me the time to do things that a typical job would generally prevent me from having the opportunity to do. This past summer , I took advantage of one of those opportunities.
People don't usually believe me when I say this, but I have a son, Christian, who's a rock star. He isn't selling out huge stadiums or giving tours of his home on MTV's Cribs, but his band is seeing a lot of success. He travels all over the country doing what he loves and will soon be going out on a tour of Canada. He plays lead guitar in the band AS WE ARE. You can hear their music here.
I got this image from Google. Did you know Google tracks you? Creepy, huh?
While he was in Indianapolis helping me move, he invited me to accompany him on his next leg of the tour. Fifteen days playing venues in Iowa, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana. Despite being newlywed, my loving wife encouraged me to take this trip. I don't get to see Christian much and this was a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time together.
So, a week later we left. There were the four guys in the band and me. They put me in charge of merchandise sales. For over two weeks, we slept in a van, ate peanut butter sandwiches, schmoozed our way into people's homes or hotel rooms to get showers, and lived on almost no sleep. It was rough, but I had a great time. Plus, we hung out with a lot of bands that I am a big fan of. Here are the ones that I can remember meeting over the course of this tour.
Piercing the Darkness • Newsboys • Bread of Stone • We are Leo • Mark Schultz • Medic • For King and Country • Everfound • Plumb • The Crossing • Random Hero • Project 86 • Echo • Chris Day • Zachary Freedom • Michael James Band • Disciple • Willet • Lybecker • Unspoken • Leeland • 7eventh Time Down • Rhett Walker Band • The Afters • Bob Lenz • Offering • Steven Curtis Chapman • Chasynn Canaan • Written in Red • Unscene Patrol • Kindred • At the Wayside • Satellites & Sirens • We As Human • The Neverclaim • Climbing Blind • Tim Timmons • Love & the Outcome • Kerrie Roberts • Offering • A Life Set Apart • Manafest • Children 18:3 • Fight the Fade • As Clouds Break • Scott Stapp (of CREED) • Tru-Serva • Eternity Focus • BOTB • Dawna Johnson • Paul Williams • Bubba Dowling • DJ Chris VanDam • What Was Lost • Red Jumpsuit Apparatus • Nine Lashes • The Elim Arrival • Crimson River • Last Watch • Katie Danielle • Captives Set Free • Chris Sanchez • Inner Rain • Death and Desire • Break the Fall • Phinehas • The Protest • Thousand Foot Krutch
Ft Yates, ND Standing Rock Sioux Tribe Reservation
We lived a few days in a parked RV, slept some nights in a church basement, and stayed on an Indian reservation in North Dakota for a few days. I saw Mount Rushmore, got a tour of the seedy side of Rapid City, SD from a homeless man, talked my way into the projection room of a movie theater, and spent an afternoon learning to play bridge with a bunch of old ladies in Montana.
Every single day was an adventure due to two simple facts. First, I tend to seek out a good time wherever I go. Second, we had some pseudo-celebrity influence that I was more than willing to take advantage of. Several times each day, I would walk into some business explaining who we were, pass out a few CDs, drop some names of people we had just hung out with and then explain what I wanted to do. It was very rare that someone told us no.
Once the typical person learns that you are in a traveling band and can prove it (or even better, they have heard of you), they bend over backwards to accommodate you. Luckily, I wasn't looking to be deviant. Most of the time, I just wanted to get some interesting pictures. Our first photo op was in Osceola, Iowa. I talked a city employee into letting us into the city council chambers. She actually unlocked the doors and just walked away. I assume it's because everyone trusts musicians.
Next, we visited the Women's Auxiliary of the AMVETS in Osceola. They taught us how to quilt.
In Terry, Montana, we walked into the Historic Kempton Hotel and and asked to borrow a vacuum cleaner. They just handed one over without even asking what it was for.
Then, we went to visit the city pool. Paul had an idea of a shot he wanted to get. They weren't open yet, but they let us in anyway.
I know that this is probably not what most people think of when they hear the phrase "living the rock 'n roll life", but I know I enjoyed it.
A couple of weeks ago, I was nominated to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Now, I am sure that most of you are familiar with what this is, but for the few of you who may not be, I'll try to explain.
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis
(ALS), often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," is a progressive
neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the
spinal cord. It basically causes the muscles of the body to stop receiving nourishment.
Sometime within the last couple of years, someone came up with a genius idea and the Ice Bucket Challenge was born. It involves a person dumping a bucket of ice water over their head and then challenging someone else (usually three others) to do the same. This is usually captured on video and posted on the internet for everyone to see.
A person who has been challenged is to donate $100 to the ALS Association (www.alsa.org). However, many people do not have an extra $100 laying around, so they have another option. If they dump ice water on their head and post a video of it on the internet, they can give a smaller amount of their choosing. They are also to nominate three more people for the challenge. This is all supposed to happen within 24 hours.
Whether the people nominated donate the full amount or a smaller amount, the cycle lives on as long as the nominees continue to keep nominating more people. As of the time of this posting, the ALS Association website states that the Ice Bucket Challenge has raised over $114 million dollars for the cause.
After being nominated myself, I sprang to action that same afternoon. Here is my video.
I wanted to do something different from the thousands of other videos that have been uploaded to YouTube and have a little bit of fun. It took some courage for me to remove my shirt in front of a camera, but I was happy with my video and glad I did it…for a few days.
Before long, I started noticing posts on Facebook and Twitter that seemed to condemn the practice of participating in this challenge. Anti-Ice Bucket memes started popping up all over my feed.
People were posting about how they had been challenged, but chose to just donate in private and not make a public spectacle out of their generosity like all the attention whores.
Others ridiculed the people who participated in order to get out of having to give. This one had a little bit of a point since there were a large number of people who had completely misunderstood how this was supposed to work. People willing to dump the ice were not supposed to do this to get out of donating. It was to be able to give a smaller amount and pass the challenge on to others to raise even more money.
Now, these posts may have already been there before I participated and I was only now noticing because I had recently done it. Also, none of this was directed specifically toward me. Since I was seeing it on Facebook, that means it was coming from my friends. People who I love and I know love me, so I did not take any of this personally, but it did bother me a bit. Suggesting that me participating in fundraising for a worthy charity was bad or self-serving in some way just didn't sit well with me.
First of all, suggesting that the people who participated in this challenge are a bunch of greedy attention whores* is completely unfair. It is true that I only donated to ALS because I was nominated for the challenge. Sure, I could have donated without participating or even without having been nominated, but there are literally thousands of causes out there. No one knows which causes or how many causes I may already be contributing to. They also don't know how much or for how
long I have been giving. The fact that I put a video of my dumping ice
water on my head does not prove that I only give when it is a game. A
person's generosity (or lack of) is in no way indicated by whether or not they chose to participate in this phenomenon.
*The attention whore part I will concede to. I am and always have been an attention whore.
In fact, there are literally thousands of very generous people out there who have not contributed to this cause. They have been giving to other causes that they are passionate about. It may be to feed starving children, prevent animal cruelty, raise domestic abuse awareness, clean up a city park, elect a political official, protect the mosquitoes, bring back bell-bottom jeans, or an infinite number of other possible causes. Once again, whether or not a person participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge will tell the observers absolutely nothing about the generosity of that person.
That's a lot of zeros
I will even take this a little further. Participating in the challenge and participating publicly contributes more money to the cause than giving privately. If I privately contribute $100 to ALS, then ALS has $100 they didn't have before and that is a good thing. However, it stops right there. On the other hand, if I give $50 and then challenge three others to do the same, the $50 each of them contributes (plus my $50) adds up to a total of $200 instead of just the original $100. This doesn't even add in the money that will get contributed by the people that they challenge and then the people that they challenge. Even if people only contribute $10 instead of $50, it is still vastly more than the original $100. However the numbers deviate, it cannot be denied that in whatever way people participated or contributed or even completely misunderstood the point of how this is supposed to work, $114 million dollars has been raised with this challenge.
$114,000,000 That's a lot of zeros.
If we had relied on the adage of people should just give more, then this money would not have been raised. I salute the person or team who came up with this idea and I am sure it will not be the last time that people are looked down upon for doing something good.
You know, it's really easy to maintain a blog when you are only posting once every few months.
I feel that I owe you all an apology. My writing has really slacked off in the last year. I do have a reason for this, but most people don't want to hear excuses. That doesn't mean I won't offer any, it just means most people don't like hearing them and fortunately for me, I am not most people. I am only me and me has been busy.
However, I have reason to believe that my writing is about to start up again. Mainly, because the thing that has kept me so busy has just come to an end. After several years of hard work, I finally completed my Master's Degree. This means that I have a lot of spare time now as compared to the last 30 months.
DISCLAIMER: It's pat myself on the back time.
Plus, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA. I got straight A's through the entire program. This means the very thing I am always telling my family, neighbors, co-workers, and students: I AM A GENIUS!
Since I am a genius, I have a social responsibility to share my intellectual insights with the rest of the world. Therefore, I will start writing again this week. Plus, a woman at my new church just discovered my blog and I need to produce some new stuff for her to read. I wouldn't want to give her the wrong impression before she gets to know me personally.
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