T - Mr Tracy

I was never what you would call an exemplary student. In my graduating class of 27 students, I was ranked #14. Exactly in the middle. Now, this only considers the GPA of the students. It's the only tangible number that can be used for measurement.

Despite my ranking, I believe I can honestly say that it did not reflect my intelligence. Of all the students in my class, I tied with another student for the highest score on the ACT. When the military came to our school and gave us all the ASVAB test, I scored well beyond the person who came in second. I spent the next two years fending off recruiters who wanted me to work in their nuclear program.

NOTE: I am pro-military. I just know me. I would never have survived the rigors of military life.

I was the epitome of what adults and teachers like to call "wasted potential." The potential was there and they saw it now and then, but it was rarely tapped into. Although I hated hearing the motivational or shaming speeches at the time, I now know there were two huge reasons for me not striving to achieve.

1. My extreme apathy
2. My even more extreme laziness

It was as simple as that. As a teenager, I just didn't care that much. I could not realistically see far enough into the future to understand why the grade I received on a freshman geography pop quiz would negatively impact my chances of getting promoted in corporate America.

I was very good at memorizing stuff, so I nailed those Shakespearean monologues we had to perform in class.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!

I scored a 100% on that monologue and an ovation from the teacher because I performed it so well, but I've never once been asked to do it in a job interview. Which is a shame because I was really good at it for some reason.

I was quite content with my C average. It never bothered me, but sure bothered my parents. In fact, any time I pushed a little in class for the better grade, it was because my parents wanted me to.

I am not getting down on my parents. They were right and I was wrong. I just did only as much as I had to do to stay out of trouble. It was my life philosophy concerning basically everything. Yet, there was one teacher who did not accept it.

Mr. Tracy was the bane of my existence throughout my high school career. He was my biology/botany teacher.

An additional misfortune I possessed was a mother who worked in the cafeteria at my school. With her so close, it was incredibly easy for any teacher to visit her. In fact, they didn't even have to make a special trip since they would just see her at lunch time. Mr. Tracy was quite adept at this practice. He kept her informed of every assignment and my grade on each. One year they even had a standing weekly appointment for her to come in and go through my work for the week. It sucks to have a parent who cares about your future so much.

Mr Tracy would keep me after class at least three times a month to discuss not only my poor excuses for homework but also my personal life. He wanted to know what I found so important because it certainly wasn't school.

Mr Tracy was a big believer in the importance of developing your brain, getting a good education, striving for a lifetime of learning. At least once a week he would get frustrated with his class and lecture us about the importance of being a critical thinker. And then, the even bigger importance of having enough information in your head to give you the ammo to be able to think critically.

He pushed and pushed and pushed and never let up. No matter how well you did, he showed you that he thought you could do even better.

One year, the night before the semester exam, I crammed with Stephanie (also in my class) late into the night. We drilled each other on the parts of a plant, photosynthesis, genus and species of various local flora and almost memorized entire chapters of the science book. I knew that material. The next day, I confidently turned in my exam (which was all essay questions; Mr Tracy did not believe you could check understanding with multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank).

Two hours later, Mr Tracy shows up in PE class and asked to see me. I cautiously approached him and he showed me the test. I HAD SCORED A 98! I was ecstatic…until I saw the look on his face. He was not happy.

He drug me out in the hall and told me how disappointed he was. I told him I was happy that I was only two points away from perfect. And he should be too.

He took off his glasses and lowered his head. It looked like he was trying to hold back tears. He said, "You still don't get it. You have carried a 'D average' in my class all semester. And then because of one night of actually putting in a little effort, you get a nearly perfect score. How can you not see what you are capable of if you would only try?" He dropped my test on the floor and walked off.

That was the last time I ever talked to him. I graduated a few days later.

I went to community college the next year and flunked out in the second semester. His words had done nothing for me.

Over the course of the next 10 years, my life just ambled along. I did alright but never accomplished anything noteworthy. Got married, divorced and married again while I bounced from job to job. Eventually, I decided to go back to school, but this time it was different. This time I wanted to be there. After a few papers came back with 'reasonably acceptable' results, a professor left a note on a paper telling me that he was surprised I had not scored better due to the quality of my discussions in class. Suddenly, the despised words of Mr. Tracy came flooding back to me.

All of those speeches and disappointed looks he had given me for four years in high school hit home. I got it. Someone next to me could have probably seen the figurative light bulb go off over my head.

In that moment, my entire approach to school completely changed. The lowest score I've gotten for a class since then was a 97.6. I even went on to get my Master's Degree and graduated with a 4.0.

It took 15 years to kick in, but Mr. Tracy finally got into my head. I am living a dream life today (on the coast in Vietnam) because of the lessons he never gave up on teaching. I did not appreciate it at the time, but for the last 20 years I have always named him as my favorite teacher. It just took me a while to recognize it.

Mr. Tracy, wherever you are, thank you.

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This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.