D - Doug

Growing up I have the convenience of having my first childhood friend living right next door. Of course, it probably more true that my first friend was my friend because he lived right next door.

Until I was about 12 years old, we lived a few miles outside of what was already a very small town, Waltonville, Illinois. For several years, Doug was the only person my age in the area.

He was about 5 months older than me, so we were in the same grade at school. We started kindergarten together. His mother and my mother were friends so we often played together and spent the night at each others house. We even sometimes got off the bus at the other person's house.

It was typical kid stuff. We played outside. We played video games. We jumped on the bed. One time we got in trouble at his house for trying to ride his bean bags down the stairs. It didn't end well. We spent enough time at each other's houses that the other's parent had almost full disciplinary rights. My mom even slapped Doug once. It was an accident. She was aiming for me, but Doug's mom understood.

Occasionally, our family took trips together or one of us would get to tag along when the other family went on a trip. He was my best friend.

Doug (left) and me on the kiddie roller coaster at SIX FLAGS

When we got a little bit older and could play outside of the realm of our parents' constant supervision, we rode our bicycles all over the countryside we lived in. That's when I got to meet the boy that lived just beyond Doug's house. Gene lived about a mile down the road from my house and I hadn't really ventured that far yet, so it was cool to have another friend in the area.

However, about 4^th or 5th-grade things started to change. This friendship had been built out of location and the low density of people in the area. Plus, as a child, a person to play with is a person to play with. But as we started to get older, our personalities and interests began to develop. Doug and Gene were very interested in sports. And I was definitely not leaning that direction. Every time we got together, it usually meant they wanted to play basketball. And I did it for a long time because it was something to do, but sports just really weren't my thing. I wasn't good at it at all, and I really didn't enjoy it.

This change in interests also meant that we started developing different friendships at school. In the very early years, we hung out with each other at school because we already knew each other. After a few years, we started hanging with our own groups of friends. Doug's friends were the future sports stars of our school and my friends were the weirdos and social rejects.

I am not saying that any of this was a bad thing. Doug was always cool with me. We never had any falling out or anything. Our lives just went separate directions. We hung out less and less outside of school And when I moved to another house when I was 12, we were no longer neighbors. That ended the little bit of interaction we still had.

This story is not to lament a friendship that was lost. I do not remember feeling a sense of loss at the time. It was a slow process of us each becoming our own person. By the time we stopped hanging out, it wasn't really even noticed. And I'll bet he would say the same thing. We continued going to the same school all the way through high school. I can't remember a single conversation past our initial childhood interactions.

Looking back on this just reminds me that our life has many seasons. People and circumstances come and go. This is not a bad thing.

A few years ago, I ran into a woman who was very excited to see me. She gave me a big hug and started dropping names about mutual friends (she thought) and I had no idea who she was. It wasn't until I perused her Facebook page (we exchanged info) later that I remembered. She was part of a group of people I met through a work friend years before. We all hung out one summer when I was 16 (30 years ago). It was a great summer and I had a lot of fun, but those people were forgotten once the summer was over.

I have a few friendships that have lasted for decades, but most of the people in my life have come and gone as life changed. Whether it was due to a move or a change in jobs or just a slow drifting apart, most relationships don't last terribly long. They meet the need at the time. And for many, that's just the way it should be.

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This month, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge. Each day this month, people around the world are writing blog posts and working their way through the alphabet. Each person decides their own personal theme. I am writing about people who have affected my life.