Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Learning Curve

After spending over an hour staring at my keyboard trying to figure out what to write today, I started perusing the archives of my blog. I lost track of the fact that I was supposed to be writing and started playing with all the settings and tools in Blogger. I've looked at all these before, but I learned a few new things.

I figured out how to back up my blog. I've always heard this was a good idea in case crazed zombie hordes attack the Blogger servers, but had never done it. So I downloaded the entire content of my blog. I didn't want to just have it on my hard drive, so I uploaded another copy to my online storage at Google Drive. I don't really know if that was a good idea since both Drive and Blogger are powered by Google, but I figure if Google ever goes down, the world is probably seconds away from implosion anyway…so, it's not really going to matter.

Once I felt that Blogger wasn't entertaining me anymore, I moved on and stumbled upon how to embed individual tweets into a blog post.



I had to throw these in simply because I learned how to do it. Apparently, this is a pretty simple process, but I never knew about it because no one told me and I missed the press release. Also, Twitter never sends me letters to introduce their new features. Consider this your warning that my next several posts will probably have tweets interspersed in them. And if you're not already a Twitter follower, now's a good time to do it.

After playing with my new Twitter toy for a while, I wandered over to Google Analytics to see what search terms are leading people to my site. Here are some of the stranger ones.

jackass whisperer
All of the guys on Jackass are pretty loud except when they are whispering to the camera about how they are about to strip someone naked, throw him onto a bus of nuns and then hold the doors shut while they throw snakes in the windows. To my knowledge, I have never discussed these things on my blog, so I don't understand how it brings them to my site, but I welcome the traffic. Although, I am curious to try an experiment. Here is the cast list for the most common Jackass characters: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Preston Lacy, Brandon DiCamillo. Let's see if that influences my search results.

angry turkey
I briefly mentioned my Angry Birds addiction several months ago and turkeys are birds, so I guess this works. Plus, most turkeys I have seen appear to be angry, but I would be angry too if I was a bird who couldn't fly and is basically only good for being eaten.

when i miss you i re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot
This one actually popped up several times with just slight variations. I do often re-read my old posts because I think I'm brilliant and it does make me smile like an idiot, but I had no idea Google knew that. These search engines are getting spookily powerful. I am getting the red squiggly lines under the word 'spookily', but I know what I am trying to say and I believe that's the best word - even if spell check says it's not a word.

karate vs taekwondo
I hope the person searching this found his answer when he got here. I don't remember writing about either one.

no outside food
This one I have no problem with. People shouldn't be eating while reading my posts. It's just rude.

butcher clown
Click picture for
clown butcher post
This one is kind of creepy. Not only because someone would be searching for this one to begin with, but also the fact that I actually have a picture of a butcher clown on my site.

naked redheads   
I don't know what I wrote that caused this search to lead people to my blog, but I could get behind this one.
 
amputee cheerleader
I have written about my buddy Adam several times. He is an amputee, but I believe the person coming to my blog hoping to satisfy their strange fetish is greatly disappointed when they find his picture. Although, if there's a market for it, maybe I should put Adam in a short skirt and we could start a website.

18 comments:

  1. Well, if people weren't finding whispering jackasses before this post...oh, they will now.

    I'm interested in the twitter thing, not that I'm terribly clever on twitter, but others are and I could do something more tricky than take a screenshot of the twitter feed.

    I always wonder why people search for certain things and if searching them brings them half the satisfaction I get from laughing at them for searching weird crap.

    WG

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    1. The Twitter deal is pretty simple. From the Twitter page, click on the tweet you want to use. It will expand. Click DETAILS and then click EMBED THIS TWEET. You are then given the HTML to copy into your feed.

      I agree with the searches. Plus, I am surprised at how people search. The way some people plug in their search, I am left to wonder if they ever find what they are looking for.

      Delete
    2. Oh wow, cool! Now I'm going to have to find an excuse to use this myself some time. :)

      Delete
    3. When I found it, I wondered why I hadn't used it before.

      Delete
  2. Oops. So sorry. I'm eating a bowl of cereal while reading your post. (although that's probably about your movie-trips.)

    You are a genius, and I can't wait for you to teach me all your new tricks.

    Since, as you know, I've read every one of your posts, and commented on old posts as I was trying to learn your inner secrets, I am probably to blame for bringing people to your site based on "when I miss you..." because I can totally see myself saying that in a past-dated comment section, back in the day before we ever met.

    ...and didn't you write something about Thai Taekwando? Or something?

    I think Adam's Halloween costume has just been decided.

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    1. I never thought to search the comment sections. That would bring people to the blog.

      Delete
  3. Oh my oh my, nice job preach....Red I have told preach before that I could NEVER be a cheerleader because I can't spell...also my wheelchair wouldn't do well at the bottom of the pyramid. I will make everyone happy if that is what the blog gods want ps still laughing.....great job preach as always

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    1. Thank you. There is a fetish out there for everything. Maybe we could make some money.

      Delete
  4. My favourite search term that brought people to my blog is "when I have sex I sound like a rusty gate"

    What are your thoughts on karate vs taekwondo?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I know I mentioned Tae Kan Do in one of my list posts. I said that I have a belt. It's amazing that of the millions of sites that would actually talk in depth about this topic, Google sent them to me.

      Delete
  5. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a graphic a link to a site within a post. I know how it works on the side bar but be damned I can figure that one out. I always end up putting the picture in and and adding the link in a sentence someplace else.

    Also, my site seems to be the hotbed of information regarding Adrien Brody.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I sent you an email explaining how to do it. I tried to put it here, but Blogger blocked all the HTML I was using as an example.

      Did the Adrien Brody connection make sense?

      Delete
  6. I once posted a piece about the color blue. I think i called it "Color me Blue." It got very few hits until I followed a readers suggestion that I change the title to "Fifty Shades of Blue." I ended up getting several hundred hits. Those tag lines are really interesting.

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    1. That was brilliant. I need to put a little more thought into those.

      Delete
  7. It's nice to know I'm not the only one getting weird hits on my blog... but I have to say, yours are a lot stranger than what's been leading people to my blog. Jackass whisperer? Really?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I searched blogger for some of these terms and was actually able to figure out how Google decided my blog would work for those searches. I think the most disturbing part is that people are typing those things in to begin with.

      Delete
  8. Now see, when I see "jackass whisperer" I think of someone who can soothe the jackasses into behaving like normal humans, just with the dulcet tones of their voices. If that person is out there, I too need to search for them. Are you sure it's not you?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That was the first thing I thought of, but no jokes came to mind, so I went the other direction.

      I have a strange talent with wild animals that I don't really understand myself.

      Delete

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