The food was great, the service was outstanding and I didn't spill anything on myself so I considered the meal a success. The waitress brought us our bill and expected fortune cookies. After a quick debate with my daughter about which cookie was mine (you never want to get the wrong fortune), we opened them. I was met with the following 'fortune.'
|What about strawberries?|
I lowered my fortune and looked down at the pineapple on my plate. I'd had fruit for the last fifteen minutes and certainly hadn't climbed a tree. I haven't climbed any tree in years, and even then it wasn't to get some stupid fruit. It was to throw firecrackers at my nephews. I wouldn't even know where to find a pineapple tree around here. Do pineapples even grow on trees? For that matter, are pineapples considered a fruit.........never mind. I was pretty sure I had some regular apples at home and I most certainly did not climb a tree for those either.
Maybe in China if you want some fruit you have to climb a tree, but this is America. We have a great thing called capitalism. If I want some fruit, I pay someone to give it to me. It's much easier on the knees.
Plus, not climbing the tree to selfishly get the fruit myself helps the economy and unites the cultures of the world. I pay money to a Chinese restaurant to eat their fruit, which was delivered to them by a local Italian produce company. That organization received their produce via a Polish trucking company from a Jewish fruit vendor that hires Mexicans to climb the trees and get the fruit which eventually ends up on my plate.
In fact, very few of the people involved in the fruit process actually spent any time climbing the tree. In order for this fortune to be accurate it should read:
This also cuts out all the middle men, which would allow you to get your fruit much cheaper.
Nice try #6. Luckily, your food is good, because your fortunes are way off track.