Saturday, October 27, 2012

Jack Frost Can Bite Me

On Tuesday, I wrote about me being sick. I received lots of get well wishes, which were very much appreciated. Thank you.

Today, I am not back to 100% yet, but I am definitely on the mend. All my aches and pains are gone. I no longer have a head ache or fever. The only thing left is some chest congestion. Hopefully, that will clear up in the next few days.

Since I have basically just slept when I haven't been at work for the entire last week, waking up today feeling good meant that I had some pent up energy. I thought my return to the world of the healthy would be good news to my daughter, but she claims the house was much quieter when I was incapacitated.

Apparently, she doesn't care for my musical outbursts or being forced to box with me when we pass in the hall. I never knew this. She may complain now, but she'll miss me when I'm dead.

She was thankful that I was up and moving when we all went out for dinner. According to her, we have been out of food for the last three days, but I had been too sick to notice. She was sweet enough to know that I was sick and didn't bother me with this little detail, but is still of the mindset where she thinks she has to eat every single day. That gets a bit annoying, but I have learned to make due. It's just part of the sacrifices I make for my family.

Now that I am on my feet again, I realize that I have some seasonal preparations to take care of. The temperature has dropped significantly in the past week, which means winter is right around the corner. It is no secret that I hate winter.  We barely survived the great SNOWPOCALPSE of 2011 because we weren't properly prepared. I don't care to have a repeat of any similar events.

I may not be able to control the weather, but I can control how prepared I am for whatever may come my way. Here are some of the things I plan to do this weekend to get prepared for the three months of icy Jack Frost hell that are coming our way.
  • Stock up on groceries. Generally, if I have to leave the house, it is because I have gotten low on food because the kids discovered where I was hoarding it. Frozen pizzas, frozen burritos, frozen waffles. Frozen is usually a good way to go in case of a power outage. Food can be tossed in the snow to maintain freshness hardness.
  • Get chains for car. The roads get slick out there and I will need something heavy to break into another car if mine gets stuck in a ditch.
  • Dig out the warmer clothing and extra blankets. Having these handy makes them more readily available to stuff under doors and hang over windows when those cold drafts start to blow in.
  • Cancel gym membership. There is no way I am driving across town to change into shorts, start sweating and then drive back in subzero temperatures. I'll rejoin in the spring.
  • I know bacon usually comes from
    pork bellies, but that's only because 
    it's the fattest part of a pig
    Stock up on ammunition. If we run out of food and the roads are impassable, I may need to be prepared to personally provide food for my family. I see the occasional rabbit in my back yard. If things get more desperate, several of our neighbors have outside dogs. I am not even above an Andes rugby team type of scenario if the situation calls for it and we have plenty of neighbors. I have even been reading up on how to make my own bacon.
  • Buy plenty of batteries. Mostly AA to ensure the TV remotes and XBOX controllers are always functional.
  • Buy shovels to clobber anyone who tries to enter our house and loot our winter supplies.
With a little forethought and planning, I should be able to get my family through to spring without any casualties worth mentioning. Once my daughter graduates high school, I'm moving south.

20 comments:

  1. It's a good idea to keep matches and some candles around in case the power goes out and you need so roast some marshmallows. We've survived several hours long power outages this way.

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    1. That is a good idea. Especially now that I know I smoke detectors don't work. When my house caught on fire last week, nothing went off.

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  2. So glad to hear you're feeling better!!

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  3. I can just imagine you making a map with your neighbors listed in order of priority:

    Smiths: Never liked them, also, they've got a lot of meat on their bones.

    Allens: They don't eat any meat. Only consume as side dish. Look for something more substantial.

    Owens: Bob is an alcoholic. Probably pickled inside. Would probably last a long time in storage.

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    1. I will go for the house with the greatest number of people in it. That will keep the number of trips outside to a minimum.

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  4. What the? What kind of person doesn't love a good impromptu hallway boxing match?

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  5. Like you, I'm not a big fan of winter. We don't freeze over too often here in Oregon but it does get cold. I look forward to moving to a warmer dryer climate someday.

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    1. I hate it. When I lived in Puerto Rico, my brother sent me a picture of the leaves changing here so I could see what I was 'missing'. I had to assure him, I really didn't miss it.

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  6. Did I tell you about my snow shovel being stolen during the ORIGINAL "snowmageddon" out east? Yep. I had to shovel my walk using a spade and a real estate sign.

    Bastards.

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    1. I don't think so. That would have sucked. Violations of human rights such as these are why we have the death penalty.

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  7. In the south, we don't usually have to prepare as much for the winter. Usually, for me, it involves putting two extra blankets on my bed and trying to remember that gloves and hats are wonderful inventions that should not be forgotten when going outside.

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    1. I am ready to move south. Getting a little chilly is tolerable, but the nasty cold I can barely take.

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  8. I went to the food store today to get some bread, water, and batteries for Hurricane Sandy. It appears that I waited too long, as they had none of any of those items.

    Glad you're feeling better!

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    1. Oh, and I also love the banner! I was thinking about doing something similar for Christmas, but I'll probably be too lazy.

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    2. Thank you. My last banner sat there for over a year, so I thought it might be time to change it. Picking something seasonal gives me the motivation to get a new one made before I have to take this one down.

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  9. You sound prepared. And when you say "moving south," you mean about 300 miles south, right? ;)

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    1. Yes, significantly south. If I'm going to go, then I want it to be worth it.

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    2. I just realized what you were referencing here. Red lives 200 miles northeast of here. I will be going south. However, I would love for her to come with me.

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