Tuesday, October 16, 2012

It's A Wonder I Ever Leave Home

I have mentioned in many of my posts that I do not like most people. It's entirely true. It's not that I have a searing hatred for the people I meet, it's just that I don't often see someone that I feel I would like to spend more time with. I do have a few people I like. By few, I mean FEW. As for the rest of the world, I am pretty indifferent to most. However, there is a large percentage of people that I do not like right away and they seem to be everywhere.

One of the people that I develop a dislike for very quickly is the person I don't know that talks to me in public. I will be the first to admit that I have a double standard on this one. If I decide to talk to you, everything is cool. However, I rarely want to talk with the people who try to initiate conversations with me.

It's not that I feel that no one should speak to me. It's just that I have trouble excusing myself from a conversation I did not initiate. If I start a conversation with a stranger at the bank, a restaurant or a fair, I have the ability to step away if the conversation heads south or was not as interesting as I thought it would be. On the flip side, if I was the one approached, I feel trapped when I am done talking.

There is an elderly woman who I run into several days every week. She is incredibly sweet and giving. However, she seems to have no idea how a conversation works. As soon as she sees me, she launches into detailed descriptions of the new job her grandson has, how hard her daughter is working to implement a new program in town, her opinion of a recent news item and dozens of other topics. What she doesn't talk about is anything I might be even remotely interested in hearing about. She also makes no attempt to look for any cues that I am interested in the conversation or even gives me a chance to speak. She will stand in front of my desk and talk for 45 minutes without taking a breath.

I understand that she is an old lady and might be lonely and just wants someone to talk to. I get it, but I also think that after 70-plus years on this earth, she should have developed some acceptable social skills that would make it more tolerable to be in the same room with her. Maybe this is why she's lonely. And uses a cane.

It's not just people that I have to talk to that get under my skin. There are a lot of people that I decide very quickly I don't like and feel no guilt about judging:
  • People who block aisles at the store - Every time I walk into Wal-Mart, I run into one of these self-absorbed troglodytes. When I shop, I hug the shelves with my cart to leave the rest of the aisle clear. If I stop to grab something, I only stop for a moment and I stay against the side so other shoppers can get around me. About a third of the shoppers at my local Wal-Mart do not understand this basic concept and/or have no respect for other people. I have witnessed countless people leave their cart in the middle of the aisle while they stare at soup, blocking traffic from both sides. Some of them are rude enough to ignore me when I clear my throat (in case they didn't realize I was there), verbally protest or flip their cart over. These people need to shop online. 
  • Anyone who wears a fanny pack - Do I really need to explain?
  • People who can't drive - I am amazed at the number of people who don't understand how a turn lane works. The main street through my town is a four-lane road with a turn lane in the middle. Almost daily, I am pulling off a side street, but am trapped behind someone who wants to turn left and will not pull out until traffic is clear on all sides. There is a turn lane in the middle! Pull into the turn lane when this side is clear and then merge into traffic at the next opportunity. The same goes for turning off the main road onto a side street. Get into the turn lane to slow down. Don't impede traffic!
  • Stupid people. Especially ones who don't realize they're stupid - Someone needs to do them a service and let them know. In a polite way, of course…and with small words. We don't want to have to explain it again.
  • Fork biters - Use your lips to pull food off your fork, don't bite down in it. Not only will it not damage your teeth, but will prevent that horrible screeching/grinding sound that drills into my brain stem and might make me choke you to stop your breathing since that now irritates me too.
  • People who try to tell me what I believe. - Whether we are talking about my political party, my church denomination, or policies at my place of employment, don't tell me what I believe. I already know. If for some reason, you have already done this, and I inform you that you are mistaken, STOP IMMEDIATELY and remember who you are talking to. I am the owner of my own mind. I seem to have a talent for finding people that mention the belief or philosophy of a group I am affiliated with. Misinformation happens and I have no problem with that, but when I advise that it is not true, drop it. If I belong to that organization, I will know better than someone who does not.
  • People who routinely steer conversations toward their illness or medications - There are genuinely unhealthy individuals. I have no problem with them. The ones I am referring to are the people who use their illness or 'pretended illness' as a way to cry for attention. Plus, the ones who do this the most are usually in the 'pretended illness' category. I know people who have cancer and rarely mention it. I do not need to hear about your newest prescription every time I speak with you. I don't care that you changed doctors. I don't need the details of your latest emergency room visit. I don't mind an update now and then, but do not appreciate a 20 minute conversation about your irritable bowel syndrome every time I see you. And you wonder why I never stop by to visit.
  • People who use the phrase, just sayin' - First, I know you were saying it. You just said it. I heard you. You don't need to reaffirm that. Second, it is usually said after the speaker says something they think might not be taken well. The tag at the end doesn't soften the message and just irritates me further. Just sayin'.
  • People who offend easily - I cannot stand to talk to a person who makes me feel that I have to watch my every word. There is a huge difference between something being offensive and you being offended. I have offended people just by asking about their family. If that question is so offensive to you, then maybe you should stay at home in a protective little bubble. People have had to defend themselves in court, lost friendships or been fired from their jobs because a comment is taken to be racist, sexist or intolerant. I am not suggesting that people should never get offended. Some things are offensive. However, many people look for something to be offended about and have caused way too much trouble when no offense was intended.
  • Troublemakers who think they are victims - My daughter witnesses this at her school on a daily basis. In junior high, she made the mistake of advising a girl who kept stating how much she hated drama to avoid it. When the girl exploded and started screaming at her, Kirsten tried to point out that drama was being created at that very moment by the girl who claimed she hated it. These are often the same people who use the term haters. Here's a tip: In most cases, if there are a lot of people that don't like you, it's probably you. It's not jealousy.
  • Pretty much anyone under the age of 15 - I don't like kids. It's not really a secret.
  • People with a sense of entitlement - Unless you actually gave someone a loan, NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!!! The government owes you nothing. Your parents owe you nothing. Your friends owe you nothing. The sooner you realize this, the less you will be disappointed, and the happier you will be.
  • People who get mad when they encounter someone of a differing opinion than their own - I know some Democrats who can't be friends with Republicans and vice versa. I've experienced the same with different religious affiliations and fans of different sports teams. Most people are not like this, but there are those idiots who cannot associate with people who have different allegiances than themselves. I actually got into a fight with a friend once who insisted that steaks should be well done. I like mine medium-rare and have no preference as to how his should have been prepared, but my choice was too disturbing to him. This was the same guy who got upset when I didn't take his advice to buy a pickup truck and bought a car instead. People who thought differently than him made him mad. We are not friends anymore. He didn't agree with that decision either.
There are many, many more types of irritating people out there. Believe it or not, despite all the people that get under my skin, I am a very happy person. I think part of it's from the knowledge that I am better than everyone else.

I'm kidding, of course. I am not better than other people...except the fanny packs wearers. I am much better than them.

27 comments:

  1. I agree with basically all of that. I've never really encountered the fork thing but it sounds absolutely horrible and annoying. The sound that drives me the most crazy is styrofoam. It's like torture for my ears.

    I will admit that I'm guilty of using the phrase "Just sayin'" but I'm pretty sure I've never said it after an insult or anything. I usually use it as a sarcastic joke or silly hint, but never anything serious or mean (at least, not that I recall).

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That one like the fanny pack one are more of a joke than anything. The phrase does irritate me and I don't know why, but my feelings about it are not nearly as strong as what I projected in the post.

      Delete
  2. What about stupid people who know they're stupid? I know I'm not brilliant. Mostly derpy with flashes of brilliance at best.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Self aware stupidity is much less irritating.

      I believe most people have a stupidity intolerance level. Every one just sets the bar at a different place.

      Delete
  3. And what exactly is wrong with a fanny pack? It's stylish AND functional!

    By the way, where I'm from a fanny is front lady bottom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had no idea fanny had that meaning there.

      As for the fanny pack…they just bug me. I can't get past it.

      Delete
  4. People suck. The whiners, the haters, the drama queens... they all suck!

    There's nothing I hate more than being trapped in a conversation with a stranger talking about something that I have absolutely no interest in! Actually there's nothing I hate more than just speaking to a stranger.

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  5. Very good list of things to despise! I agree with all of them!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have an IHP day at least once a week. Working in information services it is usually caused by the drama queens, conversation hogs who think I am there only for them or the entitlement crowd that can't understand why I don't run their personal "playground". I have one other one on my list - Control Freaks (maybe that goes with the opinion police).
    Welcome to the family.

    Red's sib

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I'm happy that you see this for what it is and I don't come off like a jerk. There's just too many idiots out there to like everyone.

      Delete
  7. Yes! Yes! Yes! All of it!

    Except the old lady bit. You gotta be nice to old ladies or you go to hell.

    And if you don't believe in hell, I'll still read your blog because your sh*t ROCKS.

    Just sayin'. Sorry. Couldn't help it. I'm diseased.

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    Replies
    1. I'm still nice to the old lady. I just want her to go away.

      Delete
  8. Well done. This is a great post.

    And I think most of these actual boil down to your first point: "someone who has no respect for other people." That is the key problem with most of these hateful individuals. Besides lack of self-awareness and consideration. Which are 2 of my biggest pet peeves. I can be a real witch and a selfish A**hole . . . but I know this about myself. And I try to think of other people.

    And . . . I have never owned nor worn a fanny pack in my life. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Good for you avoiding the fanny packs. I don't know why I hate those things so much, but they irritate me.

      Awareness of other people is the biggest part of these people being a problem for others.

      Delete
    2. ...but a fanny pack can be very helpful at an amusement park. I was disappointed when the clasp on my nice leather one broke.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. That post nailed it and is exactly how I feel every time I leave my home. Thank you.

      Delete
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    1. They are the worst. I have to take a lot of deep calming breaths every time I go to Wal-Mart.

      Delete
  11. I had to break up with a "friend" who was a self-styled victim. Yes, her life wasn't easy, but she would constantly complain on FB about how this or that thing in her apartment wasn't working. She was also my upstairs neighbor. Wow, did she hate it when I'd leave comments like, "Call the maintenance guy," because she would never do it! I think she preferred complaining to actually getting things fixed because of the attention she received. That wasn't the only reason I let her go, but she fit in most of your categories except she was over 15. Also, I waited until we moved to unfriend her because I didn't want her knocking on my door to create drama.

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    1. Yeah, it's difficult when it is someone who lives so close. That's the same reason I try to steer clear of building friendships with the people I work with. I can't get away from them.

      Delete
  12. Oh dear I think I disagree. I didn't know whether to comment (is commenting on a blog conversing publicly?) but what the heck.

    Like your self I don't suffer fools gladly but have no worries about ending a conversation they initiated. My problem is that if we all would only converse when initiating the conversation and at no other time, nobody would speak to each other at all.

    Coming from the other side of the pond I would have preferred an explanation of 'fanny pack' because fanny over here is slang for an intimate part of the female anatomy and conjures up all sorts of weird images.

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    Replies
    1. As someone who proudly claims how much I dislike people, the idea of not having to talk to people anymore sounds pretty appealing. However, while there is some truth to this post, it is mostly a joke. I don't feel nearly as strongly about these things as I say I do.

      Someone else from your side of the pond mentioned the fanny pack as well. A fanny pack is a belt with a large pouch. Click here for a picture.

      Delete
    2. My comment was a little tongue-in-cheek also and I suspected what a fanny-pack was because I know to what 'fanny' refers to in America.

      Over here we call fanny-packs 'bum-bags'. Fanny is a pretty inoffensive colloquialism for vagina or alternately a wimp.

      Delete
    3. A bum bag? I think I like that name a lot better.

      My daughter used to call hers the front butt.

      Delete

Leave a comment. C'MON!!! You're already here. Leave a comment. Don't leave me hanging and wondering if any has ever seen these words. I'll rub your feet.