Wednesday, February 2, 2011


For the last few days the National Weather Service has been warning us that the largest storm to hit the area since weather started being recorded in 1886 is coming to kill us all.  The forecast was a few days of ice with up to an inch of accumulation and then 12 to 18 inches of snow.  Since history is about to be made and I knew about it ahead of time, I started chronicling the events for future generations.

January 30, 2011
7:28pm        Arrive at Wal-Mart to stock up for the impending doom.  I get everything on my list, but know there is something I haven’t thought of.

January 31, 2011
12:43pm      Right on time, the ice starts falling from the sky and coating everything.
1:30pm        Central A&M (Kirsten’s school) calls it a day and sends the students home.  Ice continues to fall.
6:30pm        Receive text that Central A&M is cancelled for the following day.
6:32pm        The ice storm stops.

February 1, 2011
5:59am        Receive text that LCU (Lincoln Christian University – my school) is closing for the day.
6:03am        It occurs to me that I take online classes so the closure does not really affect me.
11:18am      The ice starts falling again, but much harder and accompanied by 35 m.p.h. gusts of wind.
12:30pm      Receive text telling me not to come to work that day.
4:25:17pm   The power goes out
4:25:19pm   Hear cursing from next apartment and loud exclamation, “NO!!!  I WAS RIGHT AT THE END OF THE LEVEL!!!  I HAVEN’T SAVED IT!!!”
4:26pm        Locate a flashlight and establish martial law in the apartment.  Do not open the fridge or the front door.
5:05pm        Receive text to not go to work the next day.
5:08pm        Without television, decided to watch the storm out the window.
5:12pm        Observed unprepared neighbor trying to chip the ice off his windshield with a hatchet.
5:19pm        Observed neighbor give up and go back inside.
5:26:03pm   Alex (Kirsten’s boyfriend) offers for us to ride out the outage at his house with his parents.
5:26:12pm    I tell Kirsten I am staying to keep the pipes from freezing and the python since his heat lamp was out and he is cold-blooded.
5:26:17pm   Kirsten leaves me alone in the apartment.
5:48pm        Receive text that Central A&M is canceled for next day.
5:54pm        The sun sets and the apartment is in total darkness.
5:56pm        I stub my toe on kitchen table.
6:03pm        I remember the thing I forgot when I was stocking up for this storm: candles.
6:08pm        I speak to my parents in Florida to let them know what is going on.  They tell me about their new shorts and the fish they caught that day.
6:14pm        I decide not to talk to my parents again until June.
6:18pm        The wind picks up and the trees start breaking off.
6:23pm        I step out into the stairwell to converse with the neighbors about the declaration that people are not allowed to leave town.  Road travel has been forbidden.
6:29pm        The neighbors start drawing straws to determine who has to make a cigarette run.
8:09pm        Our python wakes up and comes out of his resting place to seek out heat.  Since the heat lamp is out, I put him in my sweatshirt.
8:12pm        An ungrateful reptile bites me on the nipple.
8:19pm        I stub my toe in the bathroom.
8:35pm        Receive text from Kirsten that she is ready to come home.  Apparently, she was just going to visit for a while.
8:37pm        Begin scraping windshield.
8:43pm        Wishing I had a hatchet.
8:56pm        Decided that the 2 foot square section I cleared would have to be enough. Started van.
9:03pm        Finally got maneuvered out of parking lot.
9:04pm        Stopped a half-block from the apartment.  Windshield was frozen again.
9:06pm        Discover that I am stuck in the middle of the road.
9:09pm        Got loose in time to have to clean the windshield again.
9:12pm        Used my memory to guess where I was going since I gave up trying to see.
9:17pm        Retrieved Kirsten and battled our way back home.
9:32pm        Arrive at home after this 30 minute adventure.  (Kirsten was only 4 blocks away.)  I should have just walked.
9:54pm        Power comes back on.
9:56pm        While putting flashlight away I find a box of candles.

After 4 hours and 29 minutes, the power is back on and hope is restored.  I pray that my records serve as a guiding light for future generations as they reflect on this dark period.

February 2, 2011
7:08am        Punxsutawney Phil predicts early spring.


  1. Really enjoyed reding this. You havent cahnged a bit.

  2. Well, thank you, Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous, whoever you are.

    I need to find a way to identify my anonymous comment people.

  3. This was hysterical. I had to share it to my twitter! I'm crying it was so funny! When are YOU going to write a book?!

  4. I'm glad you guys got your power back! and are alive! Haha, been thinkin' of you guys -- it makes for a great story for after the icey nonsence is all gone lol.

  5. lol. this was hilarious :P

  6. This was so funny! This could be us(except for the snake), CB is not fond of snakes.

  7. LOL, love it Brett future generations will be grateful for your timeline!

  8. brett i belive i have another movie idea i would love to pick and exaggerate your guide into a short film may I inquirere with you about it?

  9. As usualy, you do not disappoint! By the way, do I need to find some nipple rings for your new piercing? Hoops or studs? Glad you survived and can't wait to see you guys again!

  10. LMAO!!!! You have not changed one bit. I'm still laughing. I always loved your sence of humor.


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