Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Can I Trade This Month For Another One?

Life sucks right now. It really does. I am not depressed or in a stupor, but things have just not been going my way for the last couple of months.

I'm done!
Before I get into this, I want to make it clear that not everything sucks. I'm caught up on my bills. I have a wonderful daughter. I have a fantastic girlfriend that I am very grateful to have met this year and I am doing well in school. Despite these positive things, life shouldn't have to be this hard. The perks of being a grown up are highly overrated.

First is my school. I was so happy with the school from which I got my Bachelor's degree. They offered immediate assistance with any issues that arose. My counselors were wonderful at staying on top of my classes to ensure that I was on schedule with graduation. They offered substitutions when changes arose and did their best to enable me to concentrate on my studies.

I am now working on my Master's at a new school and spend as much time fighting with the administration as I do studying. Last semester I almost didn't get my funding since the school policy does not allow a student to sign up for a class until they pass the one before it. My scholarship required a minimum number of hours to receive the money. The school policy made it appear that I wouldn't be taking enough hours to qualify. I had to drive over seventy miles to the campus to get a face to face meeting in order to fix this issue.

I also moved one hundred miles to a new town in order to be closer to one of the campuses offering the classes once I couldn't take any more online classes. This semester was the first time I would have to actually go to a classroom. They decided to cancel classes on that campus, so now I have to drive almost two hours.

They also keep cancelling classes and rescheduling them for other semesters. These changes have thrown off my graduation date and will continue to do so. I have no idea when I will graduate at this rate. I was only able to get five hours completed in the entire first year due to their incompetence. Since I need 87 hours to graduate, this is not acceptable. I will be searching for a new college at the end of this semester.

The second major cause of my stress is my job (or lack of). Two months ago, I quit a job to accept work with a new business opening in town. The following week, the place was not ready to open yet. After two weeks of no pay I started working, but there was no business. Since the company made no money, there were no funds to even give me a paycheck.

The boss promised he would pay when business started picking up, but in the meantime he didn't want me to keep working for free. I left and started picking up odd jobs here and there to keep the bills paid. Without a steady income, this was not an easy task. I did not get another job, because I believed the business would get going and there is a substantial paycheck involved once it actually gets off the ground.

I just started working again this week and am supposed to get paid at the end of the week (including the money owed from last month). However, I no longer have a lot of faith that this company will be stable. I just got hired at another job which will pay significantly less, but will provide guaranteed money every week.

I haven't provided many of the additional details that make this such a difficult decision because I am trying not to slander anyone or give away the places I am talking about to any of my readers that are local. The stress of this decision has weighed heavily on my mind all week as the weekend approaches and I have to pick one or the other.

I hate to walk away from the amount of money that is being offered, but I am not sure that the money will actually be there. If I take the lower paying job, I will have the security of knowing I have a paycheck every week, but will be kicking myself a few months from now if the first company takes off.

I am ready to have all this behind me. I realize this is just part of life. It sucks. Then it gets better. Then it sucks again.

I understand that life may be wonderful a year from now. Hopefully, in just a couple of weeks. At this point in my post, I usually try to have a nice little wrap up, but I don't have one right now.

Thank you for joining me in my little pity party. I will offer something more positive tomorrow.

12 comments:

  1. Wow, what a load of stress. :(

    And speaking as someone who has created two business plans over the course of school and extracurriculars, shame on that company for not managing cash flow and the possibility of needing a loan in theirs! If they even had one. I somehow doubt it.

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    1. That was the most frustrating part. I understand the cash isn't flowing, but you have to pay me. How could that not have been an anticipated expense?

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  2. You aren't asking for any advice, but here it comes anyway. Take the lower-paying job that offers security. If the other job takes off you can always apply to work with them. But in the meantime you need the security of a regular paycheck, and if the boss at the other place doesn't understand that he would have ended up being a miserable boss anyway.

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    1. Thank you. I believe I have come to the same decision. I just can't risk it. The six weeks of downtime with no pay wreaked havoc on my bills. I am caught up now, but have no cushion if it happens again.

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  3. A couple of days to go Brett & September will be done. Every day we wake up breathing is a good day my friend. Shine on x

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  4. I hear you about the doldrums. Although, if I am being honest, I do believe I am in the midst of an actual depression. Not getting on the pity party train, but just mentioning. I am having major job issues as well, with decisions to be made about staying in my current completely miserable and turmoil filled job, though with steady pay and known work (but hostile work environment and major depression as a result of it), or not having a job at all, which is pretty much not even an option, or consider taking another lower paying job. Problem with that is, I have been told about that job, but not even contacted by the person doing the hiring, so that isn't even an actual option right now. If it was offered, I'd probably take it, because piece of mind is better than dealing with my current situation. But everything is up in the air, which adds more stress.

    Whew, sorry. Didn't mean to spew all that out. Your post just brought it up because of similar issues. I wish for you that whatever choice you make, it makes you happy while also allowing you to pay your bills. What more can we ask, really? Good luck, my friend.

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    1. Definitely sounds like you can relate. Being a grown up sucks sometimes. I wish the same for you. Hang in there.

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  5. You know I love you whatever you decide. I, too, am ready for September to be over. There's some old song that glorifies September. I think I need to find that song and write a parody of it.

    Life is a rollercoaster, and we can only hope this particular loop-de-loop is nearing its end!

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    1. I believe the song is When September Ends by Green Day. Great song.

      I love you too and I think it is coming to an end. It sucks right now, which usually means it's about to get better.

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  6. Brett, that truly sucks.it is great that you are wise enough to see the good things going on.

    I earn a paycheck, but I never work for a paycheck. The difference is subtle, I know. The decision you have to make involves whether you love the job. If you love it and believe I the company, you should make the effort to stay with it. If all you like about it is the larger paycheck, it isn't worth the stress.

    Good luck. WG

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    1. I get the distinction and you're right. Neither job is particularly something that I am excited to do. It has all been about security.

      I also have the advantage of being a naturally positive person.

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