My Last Meal

At the end of last summer, I hit a wall for a few weeks when trying to decide what to write about. I eventually wrote a post asking my readers for topic suggestions. I received some very good suggestions (which can be read in this post) and have written on a few of them.

However, in that post, I also promised that I would write on all the suggestions that I received. I received eleven and have only written on four of them.

Pratfalls, Planking and Pain: An Afternoon with the Minors A study of the planking phenomenon and how I broke Taylor's face.

BACON: The Main Reason I am Not a Vegetarian Self-explanatory. I love bacon.

Today's Secret Word: WAR A study suggested by my brother to determine who would win in a fight between Mr. Rogers and Pee Wee Herman

April Fool's - Fun for Some Some of the pranks I have pulled on people over the years

The math teacher in me says that I still have seven left to cover. It has been almost a year since I made that promise. Upon finding this post a few days ago, I decided to complete the list before the end of the summer.

Today, I will tackle the suggestion proposed by Shane Morgan of In Shane's Brain. Shane asked what meal I would choose as my last meal and how I came to that decision.

Shane never addresses or even questions what I have done that would put me in a situation where I would even have to make this type of decision. Has it finally been proven that I may actually be an axe murderer as has been suggested on this blog before? Did I finally snap and choke a second grader while substitute teaching? Did I stab someone in the eye to stop them from dragging their fork across their teeth while eating across from me? Anything is possible.

Why would anyone ever
smoke weed when they
could just mow a lawn?

I would like to think that I was a political prisoner locked up for founding a new political party based upon the common sense logic and wisdom of Hank Hill. The very fact that I would get locked up for something like this further proves the need for this new movement. HANK HILL for President!

Whatever the reason for my incarceration and impending demise, I get to decide what to eat for my final meal. This is a really good question. How do you decide something like that?

Do I spring for the food that I never got to eat because it was so out of reach? This may be the time to sample the poisonous fugu fish since I am about to die anyway. Maybe I should order Korean kimchi or the fruit of the durian. These are foods that I have always been curious about, but have never gotten the opportunity to try. What could be a better time? Despite my curiosity, I don't think I would order any of these since it is my last meal and I would like to know that I will enjoy it. As curious as I may be about these exotic foods and have always wanted to try them, my last meal needs to be a guaranteed pleasure.

I could choose to get a fantastic meal that is usually reserved for very special occasions or times when visiting a nice restaurant with a lot of extra money. I could order lobster and a porterhouse steak cooked medium rare. It would come with a huge baked potato covered in all the toppings I love: butter, bacon (of course), cheese and sour cream. A few other hand-picked sides to fill out the rest of the meal and I would eat like a king. These are foods that I have loved and would certainly enjoy. However, I don't think I would choose this meal either.

It doesn't get better than this.

When I was a kid, my mother would make a pot roast. It was probably the same as pot roasts in other houses. It was a large roast prepared with carrots, potatoes, some onion and a few other ingredients. It was cooked slowly over the course of the day filling the house with a wonderful aroma. I still make this meal today for my daughter and it is wonderful, but the best part was not this meal. It would be even better on the next night and we all knew it.

The next day, my mother would take the left overs and cut them into smaller pieces. She would put the meat and vegetables into a casserole pan and place biscuits over the top. This would be baked until the biscuits were done. When finished, there were a dozen biscuits resting on a pot roast stew goodness that was the best thing a person could ever put into his mouth. That first scoop broke the biscuit seal releasing the first burst of steam and smell of what we were about to eat. Anticipating that first spoonful was a wonderful moment, but it is not just for the food that I am choosing this as my last meal.

In addition to the wonderful food is the memories of my family eating dinner together. This was a practice I grew up with, but have failed miserably in passing on to my children. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but my family ate together almost every night. Over the nightly meal, we talked about our day, argued about chores, told jokes, listened to dad explain life and work and spent a lot of time laughing. A lot of wisdom was passed around at that table. A lot of nonsense was passed around as well, but it was all part of building who we are today.

For my last meal, I want that pot roast and biscuits. I do love that meal, but there is a lot of history that comes along with every bite that I value even more. If for any reason I couldn't have it, then any other meal that brings the same memories will do. I can't think of anything better.