Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Turf Wars with Bieber Fans

No need to comment
on my white legs.
As I mentioned on Monday, summer is here and I could not be more excited. One of the many activities I have planned for the summer is participating in our church softball league. I know that I have bemoaned my disdain for sports, but I really enjoy this. It not so much about any love for the game. It's a physical activity (which I need) that allows me to hang out with the guys. I haven't played for the last couple of years due to my job and being out of the area for a while, but couldn't wait to join this year. Our first game is next week.

The girl in the center was their power hitter.
We had our second practice on Monday night and I was the first to show up at the field. As I got closer, I began to notice that the people already on the field appeared to just be getting started. It looked like a 10 year old girls' softball team. There were also many parents and a few coaches present with more people showing up as I approached.

This field is behind a public park and can be used by anyone at any time, but I was under the impression that we had reserved the field for our use. Had the park double booked the field? I approached the coach to see what was going on.

She said they had practice on the field from 6 to 7:30. I commented that the park office must have double-booked the field and she quickly apologized. Apparently, they had practiced there the entire summer before and had never had a conflict despite never officially reserving the field. Not being the guy in charge of our team and not wanting to run off a bunch of little girls, I opted to wait for the rest of the team to show up so we could decide what to do.

My first thought
As the guys started to arrive, we spoke with the other coach and she challenged us to a game. She said it would give the girls a bit of a challenge before their first game, we could get our practice and maybe we could help the girls in learning how to field the ball.

We quickly decided that we didn't want our church to be known as the one that broke a child's face with a hard line drive and agreed to practice in the outfield. A similar situation happened a few years ago with an adult women's' team. It ended with our pastor breaking the wrist of their third baseman when she misjudged the ball he hit.

Occasionally, their ball would fly into our area, but we were more worried about our ball taking out one of them. There was one close call, but it all worked out without injury.

I don't know why he was so mad at me.
It was his daughter that couldn't catch a ball.
Realizing this could be a good post for my blog, I instructed Kirsten to get a picture of the girls practicing. She objected because she thought it would be creepy to go take pictures of kids. I explained that I wanted this shot and it would be much less creepy for her, a 16 year old girl, to get the shot than me, a 40 year old man.  She walked over to their area to get the shot, but never lost her nerve. So, I had to be the creepy old guy with the camera. I don't have the stealthy ninja photography skills of Misty at Misty's Laws, so I just raised my camera and took the pictures. I got the shots I wanted and was only cursed at by two sets of parents.

In the end, we all got to practice and they are now educated on how to properly reserve the field for their future practices. Everyone was happy and we didn't have to be shamed by getting beaten by a bunch of little girls. Or shamed because we were the mean old men that beat a bunch of little girls. I believe our forfeit to the outfield was the only winnable option.

41 comments:

  1. You didn't mention that you had a great at bat and also that you only had 3 heart-attacks on the field (but who is counting)

    To all of your fans I am the coach this year (since I can't play) so I will be trying to pull together this team for the championship!!!!

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    1. Train,

      I don't know you personally. I don't even know Brett personally, but I would venture to guess that whipping this team into shape will require all your coaching abilities!

      You have pedophiles on your team taking pictures of little girls! I am appalled!

      And trying to bribe a teenage girl to help you with your sick habit! Child abuse!

      Not really! I hope you guys do great, and honestly I am much worse in Wal-Mart with a camera phone! Seriously SKEEZ FEST!

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    2. Train, we need it. I am in decent enough shape that I don't have the heart attacks anymore, but I can't brag all the time.

      Sweety Darlin, thank you. I don't know how we will do, but it should be fun either way. We just have to keep the little girls off our field. I don't know that I will take pictures of them again. It felt creepy.

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  2. Aw, c'mon. All's fair in softball!

    "You knocked my precious baby down!"

    "So?"

    "She's three!"

    "Yeah, well, she shouldn't have been crowding the plate like that!"

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    1. They were a well-rounded team. I wonder how a game would have gone down.

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  3. I thought you were going to say that you agreed to a game and that they creamed you lol.... it would have been fun, too bad ;-)

    Have fun with the game - I have tube-lights for legs too so can't comment.

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    1. They should darken up as the summer progresses. I just don't wear shorts very often and it can really be seen at the beginning of the year.

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  4. Are you SURE the reason your team opted out was for potential safety reasons, and not because y'all were scared of losing?

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    1. SHHHH! It would have been hard to take the field this season as an intimidating force once word got around that we had been beaten by a team of 5th grade girls.

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  5. That girl in the center looks like she can take an inside fast ball for a ride!

    Smart move with the practice call.

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    1. I briefly considered it and thought it might be fun, but the other guys said, "NO WAY!!" I hadn't considered the potential for injury.

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  6. White legs are not a bad thing. When you are old, your legs will look really young and just your face will look old. That's my plan, anyway!

    Have fun!

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    1. I hadn't considered that. Maybe I should keep them covered.

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  7. I played a long time in a league that had no explicit rule against women players and for a few of our years, we needed all the live bodies we could get.

    It sucks to play church softball against a team that demands your woman player not be the pitcher. It sucks worse telling the umpire that she was GOING to pitch and asking if the other team wanted to forfeit. Frankly in those leagues you have three categories of players:
    1. Guys who you see every weekend at the church and who are fairly athletic
    2. Guys who should probably have hung them up in a competitive league, like Senior (and I mean Senior) Pastors often fit in this category.
    3. Missionary men. No, these guys aren't missionaries. They are husbands of church widows who you've graciously accepted on the team "for the Gospel" (which is code for they are wicked athletic and have a Demarini Triple Wall bat)

    Loved the post Brett!
    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. In years past, we had guys on the team that only came to our church to play on our team. This year, the team is filled with church members.

      League rules this year stated that it was a man league only. Unless a church could not fill all their positions. Then, women could play. In the past, it was mixed. I don't know why they changed it.

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  8. Yeah, I have to admit that sometimes the "walk over and shoot" method is really the only option. But I try not to take pics of toddlers. It feels icky, even for me.

    Your daughter needs to get with the program. For the love of blogging!

    I'm glad you clarified those were your legs. I was thinking that you must be awfully hot wearing long white pants whilst playing ball. ;)

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    1. They're not that white. Maybe they are.

      Kirsten will be incredibly outgoing one day and willing to do any humiliating or attention grabbing and then on other days, the slightest thing is too embarrassing to even consider. I believe the difference is determined by whether it was her idea or mine.

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    2. Also? It's called being a teenage girl.

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  9. Way to go on the not actually getting into a game, sharing the field, not looking bad because you might have lost or won, and coming out looking like the good guys for really doing nothing other than being a good bunch of fellows......that's so very Canadian of you.

    now if it was hockey you were playing, that's a completely different story.

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    1. I always slip on the ice when I swing my bat. I am no good at hockey. Plus, I can't hold the stick with my glove on.

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  10. At least you were only yelled at by two sets of parents, for all your creepy photo taking. lol Maybe you should work on your ninja skills for next time.

    I was outside the other night and my boss looked at me and said, "Are you alright? You're glowing!" That's how pale I am, so don't worry, I'm not going to say anything about how vampire-ish your legs are. haha

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    1. Thank you. I think.

      I didn't take pictures for long. I snapped 2 or 3 shots thinking I might use them here and walked off. I try to keep the creepiness to somewhat of a minimum.

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  11. I'm glad to hear it worked out, but I would like to have seen what would happen if you'd played those girls.

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    1. I am curious. I think we could have taken them, but am not positive.

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  12. I had a hard time reading your post after being blinded... by your legs.

    HA!

    Heh heh.

    And congrats on getting your creepy on! HA!

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    1. Thank you. I try to keep it under control.

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  13. I was thinking, "why did they use the flash to take Brett's picture. And why does it look like that it only hit him on the waist down..."

    Nobodies legs can be that white and not alive...

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    1. I can do it. Hopefully, the glare will be reduced within a few weeks.

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  14. Sorry I was actually expecting you to say they beat you... THAT would have been a GREAT post! haha way to beat the little girls :)

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    1. Sorry. We chose the way least prone to potential lawsuits.

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  15. I'm tempted to say I'll come over and cheer for your team, but I make a lousy cheerleader.

    After 12 years at the beach, I learned how to not glow. My first summer, a coworker asked how it was possible to live and work at the beach and be that pale. So I started making sure I got a little color early on.

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    1. I just need a little time to be exposed to sunlight. My vampire lifestyle is encroached upon in the summertime.

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  16. You're a greater man than I, because I delight in beating children. At games, mind you. Not with my fist. I have at least a LITTLE dignity.

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    1. To be completely honest, it really depends on the kid.

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  17. Kids need to learn how to lose! (Says the liar who used to let her niece cheat at Candyland just so that the stupid game would be over quicker)

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    1. I understand wanting to end games. I used to move their pieces closer to the end when they weren't looking. I never enjoyed games with kids. Not even my own.

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  18. I always wanted to be part of a softball league, but I am too shy to approach a team. I know once I was in, I would be golden. I may not like to watch sports, or play many of them, but I love softball.

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    1. Could you get someone to approach them for you. It would be worth it. Lot of fun.

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  19. This was hilarious. I joined my church's softball team this year and we had our first practice today, so I can relate. :)

    I always feel awkward snapping pictures of people on my camera phone - but the worst was when I tried to take a picture of something in the library and the sound was up really high so there was that loud "ka-chink" noise. I could feel everyone looking at me. It was embarrassing.

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    1. My phone camera is not very good, so I can;t get a decent picture without getting right in their face and standing very still. So it is hard to be stealthy using it. This was an actual camera, so they were very aware of what I was doing. I just snapped my pictures and walked off.

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