Thursday, May 3, 2012

Red Braves the Accused Axe Murderer...and Lives

For those of you who have been watching (and you know who you are), this is the post that you have been waiting for. Red and I finally got to meet in person. This was not over the phone or through email. She and I were actually in the same place.

In the week leading up to this day, some of my friends have asked me if I was nervous. I can honestly say that I was not. We have talked extensively over the phone and through email. We have heard stories about each other's families, childhood, pet peeves and dreams. We far from know everything about each other, but have already learned a lot before we met face to face.

The progression leading up to this day took several steps. Here's a QUICK recap for the new followers:
  • Red writes a phenomenal piece on February 13 about Valentine's Day. I was so moved, I proposed to her in the comment section of her blog. This was intended as a joke. My expectation was a little joking back and forth about it and it would be over.
  • The next week, we each mention the proposal and her acceptance in our blogs and have a little more fun with it.
  • The intensity grows as more people begin to chime in and watch to see this develop further, especially when Red admits to having a dream about meeting me. Once again the real action happens in the comment section. She explains her reluctance since I could be an axe-murderer for all she knew.
  • I responded on my blog with Evidence that I Am Harmless. I carefully explained how I could not be an axe murderer and then asked people that new me personally to vouch for me in the comment section. Over 70 people responded.
While this was fun, Red lives in Delaware and none of it is being taken too seriously, although I was feeling a definite attraction to her. Despite the fact that we would never actually meet, the flirtation was fun. She eventually makes a comment that tells me she is feeling the attraction as well.

Soon after, it is determined that she is moving to Indiana which would put her 150 miles away rather than 900. She sends me an email, so we can begin to communicate privately rather than on display for the entire blogging community to read as well. This is the first time I learn her name, despite the fact that she didn't mean to share it yet. A few weeks later we exchanged phone numbers and have spoken almost every day since then.

Red arrived in Indiana last weekend (YAY!!) and that brings us to today.

That is the shortened version. Click some of the links I provided to see the exact way it happened. There is much more to be seen in the comment sections of several posts, but you will have to find those for yourself. I tell this story because I have gained several new followers since this all started who may not be up to speed.




Yesterday, after close to three months since this all started we were finally face to face. I didn't have many expectations, but had been looking forward to this day for some time. I even had pictured how the initial meeting would take place.

SHHHHH!
After seeing each other, as we began to approach I would hold my fingers to my lips as she started to say something. Then, I would kiss her. Without a word, just a kiss. I figured since we were engaged before even trading names or numbers, why not kiss before we speak face to face? Plus, after all this time, I really wanted to. However, as is often the case, the way things happen in the real world rarely match up with what I saw in my head.

I have come to the realization that I am a much cooler guy on the internet than I am in the real world. I have several theories as to why this is:
  1. There is less of a chance of getting slapped online
  2. I don't normally have physical contact with the other person
  3. The fact that I am in my underwear is not looked down on
  4. I can easily step away from any conversation online with the push of a button
All of those factors give me much more confidence to say whatever I want without considering any negative repercussions. I am not socially inept. I live and work in the real world and have many close friends, but I have a boldness online that is not part of my real life personality. Despite my online persona, I was now crossing a parking lot toward the woman that I had been talking to for the last few months. This was no longer online. It's the real world and the first thing I noticed was that her pictures do not do her justice. I know that none of you in the blogging world have seen her, but Red is a beautiful woman. You just have to trust me on this. I immediately lost my nerve to start the day with a kiss. We greeted each other with a long hug.

Since we had met at a state park, we decided to walk one of the trails since many of the attractions were closed. We quickly discovered that the three days of rain preceding this meeting has made a mess of the trails. Red eventually took her sandals off to brave the mud while I did my best to find my way around each messy area.

Somethings I had learned about Red, I was not putting into practice at this time. After talking to her few a few weeks over the phone and internet, I discovered that she wasn't psychoanalyzing me by measuring the amount of time between phone calls. I didn't want to call too often and appear smothering, but also didn't want too much time between contacts to appear disinterested. This and many other factors were laid to the side when I realized that it was okay to just relax and be myself. She didn't have a bunch of crazy unpredictable expectations.

Now that we were face to face, I found myself being uptight. There was no reason for this. We had talked for months and already knew each other. It took a little time to relax. Since the state park was not working out the way we had planned, we decided to relocate. We chose a small town of historical significance to go see the sites there. The drive over (separately) gave me time to refocus.

The conversation flowed easier as we took the historical tour, although I did struggle to behave myself. Every new piece of information the tour guide gave us, brought snarky comments to mind. Also, Red seemed to be interested in the things he was saying, so I didn't blurt out every thought as I normally do.

We followed the tour with a late lunch and ended the day back at our cars. After a goodbye hug, she did what I had chickened out on earlier and kissed me. I immediately told her how much I had wanted to do that all day. She then admitted that she had wanted to when we first saw each other, but decided against it.

Maybe I should follow through on my instincts more often. I could have kissed her at the beginning of the date. In fact, it would have changed the tone for the entire day. It was a wonderful day as it was, but an initial kiss would have changed it. I don't know in what way, and I am happy with how it played out, but I didn't need to second guess myself.

After laughing at how neither of us had followed our first impulse, we shared another kiss and said our goodbyes.

It was a very good day and I expect that the next time we meet, it will be much more relaxed...and next time we meet, I will start with the kiss immediately.



Red's take on the day can be read HERE.

48 comments:

  1. That would have been fun if you jumped in with snarky comments during the historical tour. He seemed to be a good sport, like he would've laughed.

    And at the start, we were both in the same boat. I don't regret anything - we were just getting used to each other.

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    1. He probably would have taken it well. I won't hold back so much in the future. No regrets here either.

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  2. Is it wrong that I feel a bit voyeuristic.

    And I like it ?

    I'm also kinda cheering here !!!

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    1. Thanks for cheering. It's not wrong. This thing has been catering to the voyeur since the beginning. It is different having everything out in the open like this. That's why we pulled back out of the spotlight about a month ago. We will keep our readers posted. We just have to decide what to share and what to keep private.

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  3. Thanks for the map to the timeline on how this all played out.Maybe if I can catch up on all this I can be as entheuastic as Bozo. But that might not be possible, she's pretty tickled about the whole thing.

    You're not alone on being cooler on the internet. I'm like that too, except I don't think I'm all that cool on here so i'm pretty much a disaster in person.

    Sounds like you guys are having fun and that's what matters. :)

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    1. You are welcome for the map. I knew there were several that have become part of this blogging circle since this thing started and might not know what was going on. For that first month, it was brought up continually, but then we decided to pull back from the public aspect for a while. So, the chatter got a little quiet, but we were still talking.

      We ARE having fun.

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  4. Wow. I have been following y'alls saga since the beginning, and I have to say, AWWWWWWWWW!

    Everything about this is beautiful, and just goes to show you life is a roller coaster ride, so buckle up!

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    1. Thank you. You were there for the initial proposal and even encouraged Red to accept. We'll keep you posted.

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  5. As you know, I am honored and privileged to be one of the only mutual blogging friends of you both to HAVE actually met Red. And while I agree that she is beautiful, it totally made my heart swell to hear you say that YOU thought so!! I'm in no way one of those goopy romantics, even more guy like in many ways in my view of sappy romance and stuff, but I will say how much I have enjoyed watching this relationship progress. And mostly it just pleases me that you 2 both have seemed to find someone to make you happy. You both seem like kind and decent people who deserve each other. So happy for you both. Even if I am gonna miss Red being so close to me! :(

    Take care of her, Brett. Don't make me come out there and kick your butt!! :)

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    1. Thank you. It adds a whole new dynamic when everything is public, but it has been cool to get to share every step with everyone.

      There will be more to share in the future. Stay tuned.

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  6. Brett and Red - I've been following along with this unfolding story and am delighted that your actual meeting worked out so well. It reminds me much of my first actual meeting four years ago with the man who would soon become my husband. We met online and shared at least a hundred hours of deep phone conversations before we actually met up for a weekend a couple weeks later. I wasn't sure what to expect before meeting him, and I was a nervous as he was, but I was certain we would be great friends at the very least. Needless to say, the feelings ran a whole lot deeper, I relocated to Texas to marry him, and the rest is history. I'm wishing wonderful shared adventures for the both of you too!

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    1. Thank you. The future is still the future and don't know where it's going, but the beginning has been fun.

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  7. This made me smile throughout and gave me those warm and fuzzy feelings.
    Just remember next time, follow your instincts. But then you already know that.

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  8. Any street cred I own, despite calling it "street cred" renders it useless, only exists on the digital highway.

    I can really on say what I said on Red's blog yesterday:

    :D

    This is the best narrative arc on the internet. And now it is real!

    :D

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  9. How fun. :) Glad everything went really well and that you both really like each other. I can't wait to hear more about you both getting to know each other even more in the future. I wish you both the best!

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    1. Thank you, Brandi. It's been fun so far.

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  10. Its not real chemistry if there aren't awkward moments or at least a little tension. Its never JUST social tension. Being uptight in the beginning is a good thing.
    This was so fun to read! Yay you!

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    1. Thank you. I just took a little bit to get comfortable with each others presence.

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  11. So ridiculously adorable. I only just started following you right before the Blogging A to Z and busy as I was with that, I hadn't a chance to look back at older posts. I'm glad your first meeting went well. And I hope you have many more!

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    1. Thank you. It feels like this has been building for a long time, but it has only been a few months. We are planning our next meeting soon.

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  12. I'm listening to movie soundtracks as I write and read. And right now I'm listening to this romantic, epic sounding theme from Brian Crain called "Song for Sienna".. it added to the romance of this!

    It's good you cleared up that you weren't an axe-murderer because I don't know that I could go hiking in a state-park with a 'stranger' who could be an axe-wielding maniac.

    It really was romantic.

    Glad you guys enjoyed your day and have made a new friendship!

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    1. I thought of that when we got way out into the woods. "She must have bought the whole I can't be an axe murderer thing. No one would hear anything all the way out here."

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    2. I must have corrupted you. *I* didn't think anything along those lines!

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  13. Aw, this post brought a smile to my face. How lovely! :D

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. Thank you. I've been smiling today too.

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  14. You guys are the best. Just want to tell both of you how happy it makes me to read all this. I love getting your perspective on what happened! So happy that you're inclined to share the event rather than not!

    You know, if I were writing a book, maybe I would have made you kiss her from the start like you planned - however, I like real life so much better than fiction - and so to me your meeting sounds perfect.

    And by the way - I absolutely defy both of you saying you're not romantic. (not sure if you can use defy like that - but you get what I mean).

    And another by the way, I had goosebumps when I read your post (happy goosebumps).

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    1. Well, I am happy that you are happy. I still don't feel like I am a romantic. Writing about it probably makes it seem more that way. It was a great day and I expect there will be many more.

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    2. Bozo- You make me smile that's all I can say!!! We have both been right here since the beginning!!!

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    3. @Brett: "After seeing each other, as we began to approach I would hold my fingers to my lips as she started to say something. Then, I would kiss her. Without a word, just a kiss."

      @Train: Love hearing that I make you smile :-)... Just love it!

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  15. This is great! Glad you finally got together!

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  16. AWWWW Nerd Love!!!! It's is so cool that you got to meet! I love her Blog name. I haven't read much of her stuff but since I am in the process of making two star trek uniforms for some serious trekkies I might want to find out why she doesn't speak klingon.

    Congrats! And for the record I am pretty sure that small children don't run screaming from you so don't be so hard on yourself.

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    1. (I explain about not speaking Klingon in my very first post, and haven't really come back to the subject.)

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    2. Thank you. It has been a fun journey. As for children, just yesterday, I was going to a soccer practice. I was early and had a seat on a piece of playground equipment. As soon as I sat down, six small children (about 6 years old) ran up to me to find out who I was and what I was doing. I did not know those kids and as I have said before, I don't know why this happens.

      Red didn't run away either, so it's okay.

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    3. So you attract small children AND children at heart! ;)

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  17. I really like this. It's my own romance novel, except this is real. True, I don't know you, and I don't know Red, but I have been following your blog for a few months now. It makes me happy to know that you're happy.

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  18. Like I said in my comment on Red's blog - My wife and I would meet in Cincinnati (halfway) while we were dating. We did zoo dates and hiking at "Big Bone Lick Park" (insert joke here) but they were really the best dates. Walking around, talking and enjoying each other's company. We also walked the riverfront at night in Cincinnati.

    A date in a state park is a lot better than it sounds. Glad you guys had a good time together. Also glad you weren't an axe murderer. Or at least so far your not.

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    1. Thank you. We met again today and went to museums, saw another park, visited an aquarium and even caught a movie. Great day.

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  19. Just came across your blog today. What a great story! Glad you and Red found each other! It must have been very nerve racking at the beginning but all ended so well. Awesome!

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    1. Thank you. We are off to a great start.

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