Friday, December 7, 2012

Is It Too Soon?

I am still working my way through the questions submitted from the November 27 post. Today's question comes from Misty of Misty's Laws. Click picture to visit her blog.

Misty's Question:
My question: What was the exact moment you knew you were in love with Red? When and in what circumstance did it happen?

Ok, another: If you found out you had 1 week to live, what events would you fill those remaining 7 days with?
I will answer the second question first since it is simpler. I really don't believe there would be any events that I would want to pursue. I would want to spend the time with family. I would want to see my parents, brothers, children, Red, and whoever else I may have time to visit with that have been prominent parts of my life. That's it.

As for the first question, I know exactly when that moment was. I don't recall the date, but I remember the conversation. I didn't say it during that conversation because I thought it was too soon and didn't want to scare her off, but I knew.

Red and I had only met face to face twice at this moment. That may seem extremely fast, but we had been in communication for a few months. Despite having only been in her physical presence a couple of times, I had a very good grasp of who she was.

When I proposed to Red in the comment section of her blog about Valentine's Day as a joke and having no idea it would ever become anything more, it sparked some conversation and playful back and forth. Knowing the girl in question was all the way in Delaware and there was no chance I would actually meet her, I was free to just be myself and flirt openly. What's the harm? She is clear on the other side of the country.

After weeks of commenting back and forth in the blog comments, we finally started emailing. That's when it got more interesting because we were having private conversations. We could open up even more. There was no love yet, but the interest was growing. The great part about this was that I hadn't even seen a picture of her yet. I was beginning to fall for someone I had never laid eyes on. It was all based upon her and who she was. Soon afterward, the phone conversations began and the swoon effect was beginning to take shape.

We finally meet face to face in May. It was a little awkward at first, but we got through it and decided to meet again. More relaxed this time, we were much more able to enjoy each other's company. A few days later, we were talking on the phone and the conversation shifted to what must be wrong with each other.

We were intentionally trying to come up with 'red flags' about each other - warning signs that could signal future problems. It was during this call that I brought up a concern I had. I have been divorced twice. I have mentioned it on my blog a couple of times and at that point, Red had been through my entire archive. I was aware that she knew this, but had never asked about it.

Now, I will not reveal the details of her response because it gives away more than I am comfortable sharing, but she explained her outlook on my divorces. I got choked up and the words "I love you" almost escaped from my lips. I held back for fear that it was way too soon to say those serious words despite knowing that it was true.

The next time we saw each other, she said the words. I smiled and dropped my eyes and she began to explain. She knew it may be too soon to say it and she hoped I wasn't freaked out by hearing it, but it was true and just had to be said. I cut her off and explained my reaction. She had just said it before me.

Misty, I hope that answers your question. It didn't take long once we actually got to meet, but we had plenty of time to build it up before then.


  1. That's a great story. And knowing Red, I can imagine her reaction to your divorces. Either that, or I was actually there listening, hidden in the darkness of the room, honing my ninja skills. You will never know the truth. ;)

    Thanks for the answers!! :)

    1. Beyond her reaction, it was her perfect understanding of the situation. She read me well enough to know what had happened. I just knew she understood me at that moment.

  2. Both of your answers are really sweet. I would have to agree about what I would do if I found out I would only have a week to live, but I would also start funeral preparations so they wouldn't have the stress of it (as morbid as that may seem).

    You and Red seem so happy together. I'm really happy for you both and I kind of admire it.

    1. Thank you. We are very happy together. We have this incredible "no secrets" total honesty thing going on that is foreign to my past relationship experience.

      Due to the public nature of our beginning, we have even shared our mental hangups and uncertainties right when they happen. We have learned to quit second guessing ourselves and just go with our gut when it comes to each other.

  3. I think what I said was "Clearly you're a loser, but maybe I can fix you." Or was it "Hey, only a man who's been married before knows how to be married!" No wait! - It was "Their loss!"

    Seriously though, the past is the past. My four dearest (girl)friends have divorce in their backgrounds. It doesn't make me think less of them. I already knew you well enough to be satisfied as to your character - all axe-murderer jokes aside.

    ...and the word that DID escape your lips on that phone call was "wow".
    ...and when I said what you couldn't, and explained it away, if you recall, you cut me off WITH A KISS!
    A KISS is my new favorite form of punctuation. You can interrupt me by kissing me any ol' day!

    I really do think it is "their loss"...and I'm sorry for any emotional pain, but really, I am THRILLED that they left you available for me.

  4. God I'm such a sap, I just got all goose-bumpy reading this.:)

    1. That's all right. We get a little sappy sometimes.

  5. Yea, you two are definitely meant for each other :)

  6. Oh, gosh, you are making ME swoon :) Love it! I have read all about your story before, but I was wondering a little bit more about the details of how it actually jumped from blog comments to more. Now I know. I am so glad the two of you found each other.

    1. We have struggled at times, especially at first, in trying to decide how much to share. We didn't want to be too transparent to our readers and end up messing things up for ourselves. I believe we have done a very good job of maintaining that balance.


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