Yesterday, I allowed my daughter to talk me into driving an hour to a shopping area for Christmas. I didn't see the point of shopping for Christmas since the world would be ending in less than 24 hours anyway. She countered that argument with pointing out that since we would all be dead soon, it really didn't matter what we did. Once you're dead, you really don't have the opportunity to contemplate any regrets about how you spent your last remaining hours. I couldn't argue with that logic.
We drove to one of those super malls that sells everything, braved the crowds who didn't seem to be concerned about the impending doom and I even bought a couple of things "just in case." It was a fairly pleasant morning despite my disdain for shopping and people.
Before heading out of town, we decided to get something to eat. After several disappointing conversations with retail clerks informing us that there were no pizza buffets in the area, we settled on a Chinese buffet place. After a wonderful meal (one I would be proud to have as my last), the bill arrived and Kirsten cracked open her fortune cookie.
ME: That's a little outdated.
KIRSTEN: What are you talking about? This is actually a good one.
ME: First, there is only one person you could call a 'long time' friend and she never has anything to say that isn't outrageously racist. Second, since school just let out for Christmas vacation, you won't be seeing any of your friends this week, and third, the world only has about 18 hours left in existence, so there is no coming week.
KIRSTEN: That's what social media is for.
KIRSTEN: A little bit, but I meant communicating. I could get advice from any of them as soon as I sit down at my computer.
ME: If you upload any of today's purchases, you'll probably get some needed advice about the shoes you just bought.
She rolled her eyes and left to visit with General Tso again. Finding myself alone, I opened my cookie.
It was quickly becoming apparent that the Mayans and Chinese had not collaborated on the future of the planet or how it might affect mankind…specifically, me.
I have a miracle handed to me and I'm not going to get to enjoy it. I'm not even going to get to find out what it is. I'm curious what wonders the miracle would bring if we had the time to see them. Would peace finally break out in the Middle East? Would a long lost relative die and leave me enough money to pay off my student loans? Would Nickelback break up? Would my beloved childhood dog Snoopy return from the dead? It could be anything.
What had slowly evolved into a fairly enjoyable day became tedious once again. My big break finally came, but the timing would keep it from being beneficial. I lumbered through the rest of the day and sank into bed that night after hugging my daughter for possibly the last time, despite her being mad at me for making her be home by curfew. World ending or not, the rules are there for a reason.
Much to my surprise, I woke the next morning. As most of you know by now, the world had not ended. It hadn't even gotten warmer. In fact, nothing happened. This means that I get to see the miracle. I brought this wonderful news to my daughter so we could await the miracle together.
KIRSTEN: Dad, I think the miracle was that the world was kept from ending. We're still here. That's it.
ME: You suck the fun out of EVERYTHING!!!