A few days ago, I was contacted by Brandi Boddie of Penning Praises. Brandi passed a quiz on to me to help my readers get to know me better. As usual, any time a woman asks me questions that do not involve how her jeans look, I am more than happy to answer.
1. Book or movie and why?
That depends on whether I have a TV.
2. Real book or e-book?
I have never actually read an e-book. I have seen Kindles and other devices. They look like they could be handy, but I don't see where to put the bookmark.
3. Funniest thing you've done in the last 5 years?
Last May, when Harold Camping unsuccessfully predicted the Second Coming of Christ, I filled 38 blow-up dolls with helium and released them in the mall parking lot on the evening of the supposed Rapture.
I thought it was very funny. Local law enforcement did not agree.
4. Do you put yourself into the books you read/write or the movies you watch?
I don't really put myself in them. I put myself above them. I picture myself as the all-powerful puppeteer working the strings of the characters. They do whatever I want them to do. HA HA HA. "Dance, little people, dance!"
When Winona Ryder blew up Christian Slater at the end of Heathers, that was me.
When John Travolta plunged the adrenaline syringe into the heart of Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, that was me.
When Keanu Reeves dodged the bullets of the agents in The Matrix, that was me as well. For the record, that was not easy. I had to do four takes before I got it just right.
The only exception is any movie that casts Freddy Rodriguez. I don't control Freddy Rodriguez. In those movies, I am Freddy Rodriguez.
5. How would your best friend describe you?
By explaining positive attributes about me. He may give a few negative ones. No ones perfect.
6. Favorite kind of car and why?
7. Would your choice of party be a catered meal or barbecue out back?
Can't you have barbecue catered and brought out back? I would imagine they they would take it to the place they were instructed to. Then you could have a barbecue with a few friends over and still not have to cook. Why does everything have to be one way or the other?
8. What's your favorite season and why?
Deer season. I don't hunt, but always end up with some of the meat somehow. One guy makes jerky every year. Love it.
9. What specific lesson have you learned - Spiritual, educational,
occupational?
Spiritually - The phrase "Cleanliness is next to godliness" is not in the Bible.
Educational - Most college professors will not accept a paper that has "THE INTERNET" written in large letters across the Works Cited page.
Occupational - When told you are being chosen for a drug test, don't get excited and ask which ones you get to test.
10. Besides writing, what's your favorite thing to do when you get some extra
time?
Make a sandwich.
Or if I am in one of those moods where I don't want anyone to talk to me, I stand on a street corner with a clipboard.
11. What's one place you can be found at least one time every week?
Sitting in my kitchen watching my neighbor's annoying habit of washing eggs off the side of his house and car.
These eleven questions are supposed to be passed on to 11 more people so they can play if they wish. I choose these 11 people. And you should check out each one of their blogs.
These blogs are in order from shortest title to longest. Thus creating a nice stair step pattern. You're welcome.
Misty's Laws
In Shane's Brain
A Bozo's Abbozzo
The Train's Whistle
Ach du Lieber, Jayne
Doesn't Speak Klingon
Good Youngman Brown
When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep
Rob's Altruistically Self-Serving Blog
The Incoherent Ramblings of a Moose
The more I read about your exploits the more I wonder exactly how many times have you been arrested? Just wondering since you seem to do lots of things that law enforcement frown upon.
ReplyDeletewww.sweetydarlin.blogspot.com
I often find myself asking the question, "Is this illegal or just frowned upon."
DeleteI can also honestly say that I do not have a criminal record. I paid a lot of money to make it that way.
I read through this and enjoyed hearing about your favourite subject. And then I got to the bottom and saw my name listed. And then I went back through the questions. And now I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what I'm going to say.
ReplyDeleteI'll see what I can do ;-) Thanks for including me!
You are welcome. This makes a post for the day easy since the topic is just handed to you.
DeleteYes, and I'm going to work in the letter of the day as well.
DeleteSooooo... I was just brushing my teeth, and as I stared into the mirror, it occurred to me to wonder if you dance?
DeleteCan't say I do much dancing.
Delete"duck season"..."wabbit season"..."duck season"..."wabbit season"
ReplyDeleteThanks for the stairway - I guess I'll jump off that ledge at the bottom.
I have NO CLUE how I will answer those questions! They're kind of...I mean... no elephants or alcohol questions, what can I say? And thank you.
I am sure you kind find a way to work them in. Have fun with it.
DeleteGreat getting to know a little more about you, Brett.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you?? I think.
<:)
No seriously, I appreciate the shout, but just out of curiosity, my blog name is red is a GOOD thing. Right?
The colors will be different depending on whose computer you are using to look at this post. It is also dependent upon your personal settings. Red generally means you have visited that link before. Since it is your blog, It should definitely be red. Blue is for link you have not visited. If you click on one and then come back, you will see that it has changed to red.
DeleteAnd you are welcome. I look forward to the answers.
Thank you, Sensei.
DeleteWell done, grasshopper.
DeleteHaw Haw....I am impressed Brett! The doll thing was fantastic
ReplyDeleteThank you. It really drew a crowd.
DeleteI think you are a very sweet guy and funny to boot :) Godliness is next to cleanliness is not in the bible because god just assumed you knew. I like the blogs you've chosen and the support you're giving to some lovely bloggers!!
ReplyDeleteCatered bbq would be pretty sweet. But half the fun is flipping half-burnt food yourself, don't you think?
Thank.
DeleteOh, it is. I love a good barbecue and wouldn't actually have it catered. Although, I have seen it done.
#3 ....Brilliant. And I so wish I had thought of it!
ReplyDelete#6 = I want!
#9 are excellent lessons. THE INTERNET. Hee.
Oh, and thanks for the tag. I WON, I WON, I'M FIRST, I'M . . . wait. Did you just call me short???
Yes. Short and to the point. Or just short. I don't know. I haven't seen you.
Delete#6 needs no explanation...
ReplyDeleteI have wanted it since I saw it.
DeleteHaha some epic answers in there, dude. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely be answering these at some point next week, thanks for the tag.
No problem. Look forward to it.
DeleteThanks so much for the tag Brett! I definitely wasn't expecting that! Just one question, how on earth am I going to follow those excellent answers that you gave?
ReplyDeleteIt's going to take me at least a week to come up with anything remotely interesting.
As to the dolls, you really are a bit of a rebel, aren't you? I'm well impressed.
I've been called worse. I'll accept rebel.
DeleteYou are very welcome. I look forward to your answers.
So jealous I didn't think of the helium Jesuses. Genius.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm a preacher and thought it might serve as a good opportunity to gather people to hear some truth.
DeleteWow. I was pretty shocked to be tagged here. Thank you. First thing i did was go to my profile to see if there was actually 11 other bloggers on there that i could tag as well. I'll certainly give the questions a go but i may wait until after the weekend to give them some thought. I'll pass it to as many as i can although i fear that waiting those days may burn a few of my tag options. You've left me some big shoes to fill with those answers of yours, i'll do my best. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is fine. Just do what you can or what you want. Even feel free to modify it however you see fit. These things are designed to promote other bloggers and drive traffic to each other's sites.
DeleteAs these things start getting passed around, they start popping up everywhere.
Thank you so much for tagging me! I can't really even believe it. When I saw the comment, I rushed over to make sure that you told the right person. lol
ReplyDeleteI hope my post is at least half as good as your's. (=
You are welcome. Do whatever you want to do with it. I am sure it will be fine. I look forward to the answers.
DeleteAhh... so it was YOU that I saw on the corner with the clipboard next to the Mutt Cuts car... I had a sneaking suspicion.
ReplyDeleteThe clipboard works very well and the busier the intersection, the less you have to talk to people.
DeleteYou watched Heathers? I wanted to be Winona Ryder as a kid because of that film. Thank you for making her blow up Christian Slater in the movie. You should have made Brad Pitt blow him up in Interview with the Vampire, too.
ReplyDeleteI actually own Heathers. My daughter watches it now.
DeleteIf Slater had been blown up twice, then he wouldn't have been around to save the world in Broken Arrow, which would had lead to John Travolta being victorious, which would have given him extra confidence he needed to keep him from being taken down by Nicholas Cage in Face/Off. If Cage had been destroyed in that movie, then none of us would have been subjected to Ghost Rider.
You're right. I should have offed Slater. My apologies. I hear Cage is making a second Ghost Rider. I can't be sorry enough.
LOL. Although I don't know all of those movies, and I avoid Nicolas Cage movies with a deep concentration, I loved this train of thought. Like 6 Degress of Kevin Bacon only funnier.
DeleteWe should redo the Six Degrees game to always lead to the destruction of Nicholas Cage.
DeleteI actually saw Ghost Rider 2. (on purpose)It made the first look like a masterpiece!
DeleteIf the rapture had happened you'd be standing in front of God right now and he'd be carrying a clipboard and saying 'Do you um, want to explain to me the meaning of this?'
ReplyDeleteYeah. That would have sucked. Timing is everything.
DeleteClipboard on a corner, that had me laughing
ReplyDeleteWhere else could you get quiet time around people?
i know I always avoid those people. They look so lonely.
DeleteAny man who appreciates both Dumb and Dumber and Robert Rodriguez flicks is okay in my book. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Robert Rodriguez is great. he just needs to stay away from those Spy Kids movies.
Deletelol the rapture one... priceless!
ReplyDeleteThank you. That was a good day.
DeleteYou are so funny! Did you really do number three? No really, did you? I think most college professors have unreasonable expectations. Honestly, what's wrong with THE INTERNET?
ReplyDeleteI did it on an early paper that was all based on the book we had read, so I really didn't need a "Works Cited" page. I threw it on the end as a joke. Luckily, the prof had a sense of humor.
DeleteWhen he assigned the next paper, he addressed the class and told us not to do "as Mr. Minor did on his last paper."
What kind of a car is that? o_o I don't recognize it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it started as, but I like the result.
DeleteYou might already know this, but it was in the movie Dumb and Dumber.
Aside from gaining insight about your most interesting personality, your post gave me my biggest smile of the day so far. The blowup dolls and the occupational drug test--truly FUNNY stuff, Brett! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you. I try to keep life interesting.
DeleteLOL. Love the Rapture one.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I think I will do it every time we have a Rapture warning.
DeleteYeah I think I DEFINITELY want you at my next party. And you have to arrive in that car, dunno how you're gonna get it in the plane though....
ReplyDeleteI would have to track the car down, but I am more than willing.
DeleteActually, I was the one who made Winona Ryder blow up Christian Slater.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, best getting to know you post EVER!
That would explain the delay in getting her to cooperate.
DeleteThank you it was fun.
Thank you for the stair-step pattern. I appreciate your attention to detail.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!
Thank you. It keeps my OCD in check.
Delete