Monday, April 16, 2012

I am a Person and Other Complaints

This post is an attempt (but don't take it too seriously) to paint a less pathetic more accurate picture of my friend Adam Elliot. I have mentioned him in several blog posts and a few times the post was even centered around him. In fact, some of my most popular and funny posts have been about him going to the emergency room.
  1. Abscessed Adventured With Adam   Ranked #1
  2. Hop Along Sunday   Ranked #5
  3. Dad, Do You Ever Get That No-So-Fresh Feeling?   Ranked #3
Adam has a unique handicap originally caused by a rare blood disorder which makes him susceptible to various ailments and injuries caused by his restricted mobility. You can read his story on his blog here. Since he has had portions of each foot amputated, it causes severe pain if he is too active. However, since he can get around (slowly...oh, so slowly) for short distances, it is possible for someone to not even be aware of his limitations.

Almost every time I have included him in a post, it has centered around some of these issues.  However, our relationship is not based on his handicap, as evidenced by some of our conversations.
While trying to decide where to eat:
Adam: Do you know what I haven't done in a long time?
Me: (long pause) Uh.....hurdles?
Despite the jokes, which he is more than proficient at dishing out as well, we have a lot of fun together. For a while after his hospitalization and surgeries, Adam couldn't do a lot for himself and required a lot of assistance. He lived with his brother for a while, who took care of him and made sure he had what he needed. After several months, I became that person. He even lived with us for a short time. He has come a long way since then.

I first met Adam when he was in junior high school. I was a counselor at a summer camp and he left an impression even at that young age. Just as is true today, if Adam was in the room, everyone knew it. He has never had much talent at blending in or staying in the background. Just like the present, his mouth got him into a lot of trouble.

After that summer, I ran into him occasionally. Years later, he would drop in at the church I was working at to visit with the senior minister who had been his youth minister growing up. We would go out to lunch occasionally. Then, Adam disappeared. Since he hadn't been a regular part of my life, I didn't think anything of it.

The next time I saw him, he was in the wheelchair and I got to hear the story of what he had been through for the last 6 months. For some reason, we hit it off after that and became the friends we are now. He doesn't even get mad when I challenge him to a game of Dance Dance Revolution.

Adam now has a DJ service which is getting more and more business all the time. He does weddings, local taverns, class reunions, school dances and whatever else someone may need. It is a full music and laser light show. I accompany him on some of these show and assist with setting up and tearing down. Once the show starts, you would never know he is missing part of his body. He is even pretty popular with the ladies, a fact that he displays no humility about.

Adam is offering a special DJ discount to followers of this blog. He and I will do your show for free. You will only be responsible for our expenses to get there and back. Adam is especially hopeful that fellow blogger Bozo will accept this offer and the fact that she is in India has nothing to do it.

Don't think you can't get slapped
just because you're in a wheelchair.
Although, the handicapped act only carries him so far. He doesn't have a free pass. It is possible to cross the line even when you don't have feet. He doesn't take it personally. He knows that it was not his inability to participate in a marathon that got him slapped. It was his mouth.

Although, we do have to think of a new phrase for him, since "Sticking his foot in his mouth" doesn't really apply here.

Despite the regular beatings he gets from various women, he does have a social life. He goes out with his friends, goes to the movies, attends community events, is active in his church and travels occasionally. He and I have caused trouble in this town on several occasions and will continue to do so.



Shout out to Whitney Whaley
at Paul Mitchell.
I just had to take a break from this post because he just called me to go experience what he called "something wonderful." He took me to the Paul Mitchell cosmetology school to get their scalp massage. Despite having school work to do, I agreed and spent 30 minutes in a chair getting my scalp rubbed, while they put in all sorts of lotions and conditioners. Not the sort of thing I would ever think to go get done, but it was fantastic. I feel great and my hair looks magnificent. I feel so pretty.

With the writing of this post, hopefully my regular readers now know that the friend that I refer to is not a whiny home bound reject. In fact, he just got a date with one of the girls that was fixing his hair. He does actually have a brain and a life and goes to more places than just the hospital and bathroom.

Hopefully, now his persistent phone calls about my blog's depiction of him will come to an end.

I feel so very pretty.

56 comments:

  1. Wow I can't believe it!!! The first comment!!! We did have fun this weekend it was a blast!! And I couldn't have done it without you Preach!!!...

    PS your hair look amazing!!!!

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  2. Actually i read his post about you guys doing a show over the weekend. If you head over to India to do a gig for Bozo, let me know. I'd come to see that too......if she's paying anyways? :)

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    1. We are going to work hard to get her to spring for this.

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    2. Lol...! I'll have to work on this. One time I brought a country western band over for a new year's event. The airlines flew them free because the concert was benefiting a school. Maybe some such arrangement could be worked out - but both of you (Ken and Brett) would have to make yourselves useful somehow ;-)

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    3. By the way, none of you can come unless you bring Red.

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    4. Yeah, we were talking about that. Next time I'm in India I'm not leaving! (In other words, let's do this!)

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    5. Would you really stay here?

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  3. Well you tell him that you've made him sound interesting and funny actually, so there!

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  4. You can come to England and DJ at my next party. Although you will have to take turns with me.

    He sounds like loads of fun, I have a friend who's a chair user and that woman does way more with her life then anyone else I know. She's actually paralysed from the chest down but she's been scuba diving all over the world.

    Not been here for a while so I am off for a catch-up read - backwards - expect comments that make no sense :)

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    1. That's all right. I have referenced so many past posts lately, the comments are coming from several different posts.

      England sounds great. I am sure he will jump at the chance.

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    2. Really preach really? I would love to go to England but, I can't jump!!! Really?

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    3. Oh, another handicapped joke. Seriously? Can we focus on the business for a second. I am trying to make this international.

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    4. I know without a doubt we are going to India...but the time difference she is sleeping right now.....its going to be a done deal...

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    5. Head to India in November, I'll be going back to spend another month there then so we can have one HUGE Goa beach party !!!

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    6. This just keeps getting better.

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    7. You guys end up in the strangest places -- or in the strangest of circumstances. Makes me shake my head (left to right and back) and wonder "What next?"

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    8. Dirtycowgirl- you are my new favorite blogger now....

      (don't worry Red your still my hero!!!)

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    9. *blushes"

      And can't wait for the beach party.
      Bring it ONNNNNNN

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    10. How about we all just meet in England? I want to go there too! And Goa, although a "happening place", is not very Indian.

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  5. Replies
    1. Ach du lieber- He didn't mention the whole story...

      I was talking about where we should go to eat dinner one night and I said something like,

      "You, know what I have done in a while(meaning places to eat)"? And I paused thinking that he would guess and that was the result.

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    2. I paused giving you a chance to answer what I thought was a rhetorical question. When you didn't answer, I thought I would take a crack at it.

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  6. haha Sounds like a great deal; covering traveling costs for a full music and light show.

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    Replies
    1. Rachel, we might need another assistant....Depends on who is floating the bill...never know...

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    2. If you just so happen to need another assistant, I'm totally willing to help. (Especially if assistance is needed in Europe.)

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  7. I've said it once and I'll say it again, you guys are the best comedy team ever!

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    1. Thank you. We do have fun together. You should catch us at one of our shows.

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  8. Yea, as I said before, I want to go to Subway or Quiznos with you guys!

    Also, I sat here for a minute or two trying to come up with a reason to have a party which would require a DJ.

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    Replies
    1. No party requires a DJ, but it always makes the party better.

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  9. If you two ever start a reality tv show. I would actually watch it.

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    1. Thank you. I would watch it too. Maybe I should write about the cast of characters that would always be dropping in.

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  10. Replies
    1. I liked the period. It was more definitive.

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  11. Hi Brett-I'll keep your offer in mind for my next big party. You two sound like a ton of fun to watch in action. I'm a new follower after going back and reading all about your emergency room exploits, which were hilarious, BTW.

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    1. Thank you. We know another blogger on the Jersey Shore. We could wrap them both up into one.

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  12. Huh, I never read the Adams posts and thought anything other than, 'this guy is hilarious.' I think it was his inquiry while in the throes of pain as to whether or not the nurse was hot that did it.

    Bu now I know he's funny, a ladies man, and a laser light show DJ. That's the whole enchilada.

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    1. He will be pleased, but prefers to be the whole chimichanga.

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  13. I think a "welcome to the midwest" party would be fun...
    around the 4th of July?...music AND lasers AND fireworks.

    awesome.

    And you could podcast it to your blog. ...(or can you?)

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    1. We don't have the equipment to do a podcast, but the party would be fun.

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    2. We can do podcast preach anything is possible!!!

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  14. This is awesome! The first time I ever read a post about his was the "not so fresh" one. The encounter reminded me of some friends of ours that the handi-abled one was just as much of a pot stirrer as the one with the full use of his limbs. The two of them together had escapades which rivaled that of The Hangover. We still can't figure out how they got into some of those positions. It still seems humanly impossible.

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    1. Yes. That explains it perfectly. Adam is actually much more outgoing than me and is the usually one causing any potential embarrassment. We do have a lot of fun together.

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  15. Adam sure does sound like a cool guy! And you've got to be a great friend in order to write so thoughtfully of him. I'm down for hitching a ride to India and helping with whatever I can to give Bozo a show. We could even do it as a fundraiser to help get wi-fi back to their village.

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    1. Thank you, he is a cool guy.

      With her (BOZO) internet being down, she has missed this whole thing. I hope she has a big house, because the party is getting bigger fast.

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    2. Lol... I have three bedrooms - mine is small but the other two are quite nice. And then other random living space - shouldn't be a problem ;-)

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  16. So that's what a girl has to do to get a date around here!

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    1. Yes, lose a foot and hang out in hair salons.

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    2. Wow preach could have done without that....lol

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  17. What a fun post! Thanks for mentioning me again :)

    So nice to hear what you have to say about Train. You know, even without you putting all this in words, it was totally apparent. He sounds like such a nice fun guy - with an awesome sense of humour... and a really good friend.

    I wish I could fly you all down here one way or another! It would be high style!

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    1. You are welcome. Now knowing that you flew in a band really has me intrigued.

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    2. I can't really take the credit actually. The event took place at this snazzy hotel - and the general manager of the hotel had a lot of influence with other companies. So he's the one who made the free travel possible... but maybe we could dig up another general manager who wants to play along!

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    3. It gives us something to work with.

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