I am a Person and Other Complaints

This post is an attempt (but don't take it too seriously) to paint a less pathetic more accurate picture of my friend Adam Elliot. I have mentioned him in several blog posts and a few times the post was even centered around him. In fact, some of my most popular and funny posts have been about him going to the emergency room.

1. Abscessed Adventured With Adam   Ranked #1
2. Hop Along Sunday   Ranked #5
3. Dad, Do You Ever Get That No-So-Fresh Feeling?   Ranked #3

Adam has a unique handicap originally caused by a rare blood disorder which makes him susceptible to various ailments and injuries caused by his restricted mobility. You can read his story on his blog here. Since he has had portions of each foot amputated, it causes severe pain if he is too active. However, since he can get around (slowly...oh, so slowly) for short distances, it is possible for someone to not even be aware of his limitations.

Almost every time I have included him in a post, it has centered around some of these issues.  However, our relationship is not based on his handicap, as evidenced by some of our conversations.

While trying to decide where to eat:
Adam: Do you know what I haven't done in a long time?
Me: (long pause) Uh.....hurdles?

Despite the jokes, which he is more than proficient at dishing out as well, we have a lot of fun together. For a while after his hospitalization and surgeries, Adam couldn't do a lot for himself and required a lot of assistance. He lived with his brother for a while, who took care of him and made sure he had what he needed. After several months, I became that person. He even lived with us for a short time. He has come a long way since then.

I first met Adam when he was in junior high school. I was a counselor at a summer camp and he left an impression even at that young age. Just as is true today, if Adam was in the room, everyone knew it. He has never had much talent at blending in or staying in the background. Just like the present, his mouth got him into a lot of trouble.

After that summer, I ran into him occasionally. Years later, he would drop in at the church I was working at to visit with the senior minister who had been his youth minister growing up. We would go out to lunch occasionally. Then, Adam disappeared. Since he hadn't been a regular part of my life, I didn't think anything of it.

The next time I saw him, he was in the wheelchair and I got to hear the story of what he had been through for the last 6 months. For some reason, we hit it off after that and became the friends we are now. He doesn't even get mad when I challenge him to a game of Dance Dance Revolution.

Adam now has a DJ service which is getting more and more business all the time. He does weddings, local taverns, class reunions, school dances and whatever else someone may need. It is a full music and laser light show. I accompany him on some of these show and assist with setting up and tearing down. Once the show starts, you would never know he is missing part of his body. He is even pretty popular with the ladies, a fact that he displays no humility about.

Adam is offering a special DJ discount to followers of this blog. He and I will do your show for free. You will only be responsible for our expenses to get there and back. Adam is especially hopeful that fellow blogger Bozo will accept this offer and the fact that she is in India has nothing to do it.

Don't think you can't get slapped
just because you're in a wheelchair.

Although, the handicapped act only carries him so far. He doesn't have a free pass. It is possible to cross the line even when you don't have feet. He doesn't take it personally. He knows that it was not his inability to participate in a marathon that got him slapped. It was his mouth.

Although, we do have to think of a new phrase for him, since "Sticking his foot in his mouth" doesn't really apply here.

Despite the regular beatings he gets from various women, he does have a social life. He goes out with his friends, goes to the movies, attends community events, is active in his church and travels occasionally. He and I have caused trouble in this town on several occasions and will continue to do so.

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Shout out to Whitney Whaley
at Paul Mitchell.

I just had to take a break from this post because he just called me to go experience what he called "something wonderful." He took me to the Paul Mitchell cosmetology school to get their scalp massage. Despite having school work to do, I agreed and spent 30 minutes in a chair getting my scalp rubbed, while they put in all sorts of lotions and conditioners. Not the sort of thing I would ever think to go get done, but it was fantastic. I feel great and my hair looks magnificent. I feel so pretty.

With the writing of this post, hopefully my regular readers now know that the friend that I refer to is not a whiny home bound reject. In fact, he just got a date with one of the girls that was fixing his hair. He does actually have a brain and a life and goes to more places than just the hospital and bathroom.

Hopefully, now his persistent phone calls about my blog's depiction of him will come to an end.

I feel so very pretty.