Give It Up

Last night, while walking home in the tropical Vietnam heat, I chafed the insides of my thighs bloody raw. Two days ago, I had a kerfuffle with some acid and destroyed my motorcycle helmet. And while these two events are unrelated, I am very thankful it wasn't the other way around.

As you let that joke sink in, please be advised that I don't really know what it means either, but I thought of it and had to put it out there. That's just how my brain works. My wife is almost used to it now. She gets to hear all my jokes before they've ripened and become palatable for public consumption.

As I sit here spread-eagled, dumping baby powder onto my "stranger danger no touch area", I'm reminded that things don't always work out as planned.

Seriously. I'm not even supposed to be in this country right now.

For the last year, Red and I have been saving for our trip back to the States to visit family. We were going to fly into Texas, visit the Bloggess at her new Nowhere Bookshop in San Antonio, rent a car to drive to our families in the Midwest and spend the whole month of June. For those of you keeping score, that is this month. We live 12 time zones away from our families so we knew this trip would be the last time we saw them for a very long time. So, we wanted to make it count.

Unfortunately, the entire world got sick at the beginning of the year and then two weeks ago America basically exploded. Not a good time to visit the States, plus we couldn't even if we tried since the borders of Vietnam are sealed. International travel isn't a possibility. So, our best guess for the moment is that our trip has been delayed until next year. However, until the vaccine materializes, things will still stay tense for the countries which are taking it seriously.

So, we have to stay home for a while. I can do that, but summer in Vietnam means an extra-crispy epidermis if you get caught in sunlight. We'll just stay in. Yet, this would not go as easily as expected. Last week, our television stopped working.

You know that sad way a TV looks when it is turned off?

That is identical to what ours looked like all the time.

While we were waiting for our television to be repaired, we decided the temperature of our living room was intolerable since the tile on our floors were too hot for our feet to comfortably touch them.

Do you remember the FLOOR IS LAVA game you played when you were a kid?

It is not as much fun when you are forced to do it for real.

We went out and bought a stand-up air conditioner to help Red stay cool when she sat at her desk and would hopefully keep our sneakers from melting. We hooked it up and were amazed at the difference that it made. And then, it flooded our kitchen.

The next day a representative from the appliance store came out to look at it. Not being able to speak to each other (the whole Vietnamese thing is kind of tricky), I showed him the video of the river flowing through our house. His solution was that we were not putting enough water in the unit. Yes, I typed that on purpose.
 The reason water was leaking out was because it needed more water.

That seemed ridiculous to me, but I often don't understand how things work in this country. So, I conceded to his wisdom, filled the tank to the top and let him go on his way after he observed the solved issue. And let me tell you something.

That little man was wrong!

Twenty minutes later, there was water everywhere.

That solved the floor lava issue, but the trade-off wasn't worth it. They brought us a different model the next day. One that kept the river inside the unit.

Despite the mishaps of the last few months, I recognize we have a great life. But it has been a stark reminder that things do not always go according to plan. Flexibility is useful for more than just the bedroom.

Even if COVID-19 had not permeated every crevice of the planet like rogue glitter at Christmastime, we would still have had to stay home to keep our house from melting.