One day last week I woke up to someone pounding on my door. Bleary eyed, I made way way through the house, tripped over the couch and ran head first into the front door. Immediately after my cranium bounced off the door, the person on the other side gave it a good thump as well. I guess he thought it was a game.
I got to my feet and opened the door to have a clipboard shoved in my face.
Stranger: "Sign here."
Stranger: "Sign here. At the bottom."Me: "I know how it works. What am I signing for?"
Delivery man: "How am I supposed to know? I'm not allowed to open the packages."
Me: "I have a package?"
He held out a large envelope, but snatched it back when I reached for it.
Delivery man: "You have to sign first!"
Me: "Give me the pen." I scrawled my signature.
Delivery man: "Here. Next time wear pants to answer the door."
Looking down I realized I was still in my underwear, so I shouted at him as he climbed into his vehicle, "Next time, try showing up later than 6:30 in the morning."
I tossed the envelope on the kitchen table and went back to bed to get the last seven hours of sleep for the night. By the time I woke up, I had forgotten all about it. It sat there for a week getting buried under new mail I tossed on the table.
Last night I was doing my monthly chore of sorting through all the mail I never bothered to open and found it. I suddenly realized the early morning delivery man was not just a strange dream and ripped it open.
It contained a letter from a lawyer representing the Awards Fairy. The letter stated that when the Awards Fairy fell asleep in my bathtub, he had contracted pneumonia and was suing me for medical expenses. The fact that he had robbed me blind on earlier visits didn't seem to deter him from wanting even more from me.
Links to past visits from him:
The Awards Fairy Strikes Again
The Awards Fairy Came By
Return of the Awards Fairy
Awards Fairy Detox
The envelope also contained three awards. I set the letter aside to see what awards I had received.
The first award was from the prestigious mens' writing site Dude Write.
I got this one for my post When The Cat's Away. Thank you, to the men over at Dude Write.
The second award came from Mrs. Luttrell over at the Coffee Blogs. It is the Leibster Blog Award.
This one had several rules attached to it, but I have received this one a few times and will opt out of doing them. This may bring future wrath from the Awards Fairy, but it doesn't appear that he is going to leave me any time soon anyway. I will risk it. I will acknowledge the person that awarded it to me once again. Thank you, Jessica Luttrell of the Coffee Blogs.
The last award was one that is new to me. Plus, I received it from two different people.
My blog has been called a lot of things, but this is the first time it has been called sweet. However, since it is sweet to two people, it must be sweet to others as well. The bloggers who think my blog is IRRESISTIBLY SWEET are Ken Degner of Ken-inatractor and Rachel at When a Lion Sleeps, Let It Sleep.
The rules for this award are to post seven random facts about yourself and pass it on to ten other deserving bloggers.
- This week I started a new job as a Sexual Health Counselor. I will give more info on that in a future post.
- Despite my usual disdain for talking on the phone, I still talk to Red every night for at least twenty minutes. Everyone else still gets cut off very quickly.
- Last month my dryer broke and I haven't gotten it fixed yet. After I do my laundry, underwear is hanging off doorknobs, ceiling fans, chairs and anywhere else that I can find a place until they are dry.
- My brother just got a new unicycle. I will be over there trying to knock #74 off my list.
- Now that I have met Red and we have spent significant time together, I still call her Red. Saying her actual name, just doesn't feel right.
- My blogging has slowed down significantly over the summer. I hope to get back to regular posting once school starts up again.
- I still don't have a smartphone. My contract runs out in November and I can't decide if I want to upgrade or just keep a regular old phone. I would love to have all the extra features, but am afraid I would never stop playing with my phone and all life productivity would stop.
Thank you to the people who gave me these awards. It has been fun writing this blog and watching my readership slowly grow. It is a great feeling knowing that there are people who enjoy what you write. Plus, I sat down this morning to discover that I hit 30,000 views.
The Awards Fairy cares about none of this. I guess I will spend the rest of my day speaking with a lawyer to see what I need to do about him. I don't expect this will be the last time I hear from him.