Real Life Pitfalls of Social Media

I have been addicted to Facebook for a couple of years now. My habit when I sit down at my computer has been to pull up my Facebook wall and scroll down reading the various updates until I get to the last point that I have already read. Then I feel that I am up to speed on everyone's lives.

However, for the last few months, I have not been paying as much attention to it. I scan through every day, but I don't read with the diligence that I used to. This is mainly because of my blog reading. I read about 50 different blogs and try to keep up with them, so I don't have as much time to keep up with Facebook. Plus, there is so much more information in a blog than the short little blurbs on Facebook. While one of my Facebook friends may mention that they are having meatloaf last night, blogger Jen of "Jen" e sais quoi gives a full description of the menu and ambiance of her latest restaurant outing in Portland. Much better reading.

When I was spending my precious time concentrating on Facebook, my students and many of the kids in my youth group would be a little unnerved confused when I would ask about their mother's surgery or how the party last Friday was. They always wondered how I knew the things I did, but they tend to forget how public the information they put on Facebook is. I was not looking to see what that specific person was up to. I would just read my Wall and later when I saw them, I would remember what I had read. But if you ever do want to know something, a quick Facebook check will usually give you the information you seek. Generally, if you want to know what movie your neighbor is watching, you only have to scan their page or timeline to quickly find out.

It is amazing the things that people are willing to put on Facebook without regard for pedophiles, serial killers, crazy ex-spouses who may be reading it. We can read anything from the news of them getting a new pet to what they ate for dinner that night. Some people's posts are funny, some only use it to complain about their lives, some use it for political activism and others tell us what is happening every time they do anything.

Example: These people drive me nuts. They post 600 updates a day and never really say anything.

9:04 "Just got a new library book."
9:17 "Thinking about Chinese for lunch"
9:21 "Just saw Bobby. I have missed him."
9:29 "Construction on Broadway again. I wonder why the traffic cones are always orange."

One of the great advantages for parents is the ability to keep up with their children. If you want to know what they are up to, it is usually somewhere on Facebook. Every parent should know how to use this wonderful tool. If your child has a Facebook page and you do not know what is going on in their life, then it is your own fault. Mark Zuckerberg may not care about our privacy, but his lack of concern is very helpful in this area. Now when Kirsten leaves the house, I don't have to worry about who she is with, whether she is eating healthy, what her bowling average is or what state she is in. Facebook tells me everything.

However, this tool is not helpful if you don't use it. This fact hit me hard yesterday when I heard something in one of those rare face-to-face conversations. I couldn't get home fast enough to consult the all-knowing Facebook to see if it was true. About 5 seconds after logging on I found this.

This says Tuesday. TUESDAY!!! Kirsten has had a boyfriend for two days and her father did not know about it. When I picked her up at school, she asked me how my day was and if I had written anything embarrassing about her on my blog that day. I said I didn't want to talk to her. She blew it off and laughed as she hopped in the van.

Me: "Kirsten, you are a big bag of lies!"

Her: "A big bag, not like a little lunch sack or a Zip-loc bag?"

Me: "Nope. A big, rotten, stinking bag of deceit."

Her: "Is there maggots in it?" (Can you tell she is not taking me very seriously?)

Me: "When were you going to tell me you and Steve were a couple?"

Her: "What? I did!"

Me: "No, you did not."

Her: "Dad, I put it on Facebook as soon as it happened. I told the whole world and that includes you."

Kirsten definitely understands the concept of social media. However, like many people her age, they forget about the social aspect of talking to people. Once it is on Facebook, it is public knowledge and it is your own fault if you did not know about it. Luckily, I added Steve as a friend a few days ago, so can keep an eye on both of them.