Feeling Pretty Good Today

I was quite impressed with the profile numbers today.  My first post went up about 24 hours ago and it has had 87 views already.  Of course, I have to mention that I posted it to my Facebook page twice begging people to go look at it.  Either way, it was good for my ego.  Not that my ego is suffering.  I believe it is very healthy and a few people have told me so, but that just made it stronger because it was noticed.  I try to keep it in check, but it often walks the line between healthy ego and acute arrogance.  Most the time I am not paying attention and just let it do it's own thing, trusting that it will behave itself.  But, like a spoiled child, it only looks out for itself.

I am aware of the fact that I come off as arrogant quite often.  I don't mean to do it and don't speak as often as I would like to for fear that I will dominate the conversation or even be condescending.  I sit quietly in Sunday School and meetings at work most of the time.  I do speak up, but try to keep my comments to the point and let other people speak.  I know this is what people are supposed to do anyway (it is just polite conversation), but I have to really concentrate to make this happen.  I have to fight with the great pride I feel in how much I know.  My mind retains information easily and it makes me feel that I am more intelligent than other people.  I know this isn't true, but it is still a struggle.  I find it hard to even explain this without sounding like I am bragging about how smart I think I am.

So, with that said, I guess I am warning my readers once again about the statements that I may make in my blog.  For now, know that I can easily slip into arrogant jerk mode and I am sometimes not aware that I have done it until afterward.  However, that is me.  I stated that I wanted to be genuine in my writings, so I will try not to edit it out too much.  I am not making excuses for my attitude.  I do understand that it is wrong.  However, it should not be a surprise to anyone that I understand this.  After all, I am brilliant.