Will Tweet For Money or Any Reason At All

After being out of the blogging habit for over a year, I am finding it difficult to know what to write about. When I was writing all the time, I had no shortage of topics to choose from. Inspiration was all around me. I wrote posts based off a commercial I saw or off the tail end of a news story on the radio.

I kept a notebook in my back pocket to write down ideas as I had them. And I always had them. It's amazing what building a habit can do for you. All week long, I knew I had to write a post this weekend and a topic never came to me. So, now it's time to write and I've got nothing.

While it has been painfully obvious by the gaping void in my blog that I haven't paid much attention to it in the last year, it doesn't mean I haven't been writing at all. I have have been, but it has just been in much shorter bursts. 140 character bursts to be exact.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter. I love Twitter. I get excited when I get new followers. I love it when one of my favorite accounts retweets me or follows me back. Or when a known celebrity (not an internet celebrity) comments on something I said. It gives me a high that lasts for days.

If Twitter has taught me anything, it's that people outside the world of Twitter have no respect for what we do here.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) December 1, 2015

I understand that it's shallow and doesn't really have any meaning in everyday life, but I'm addicted. I can't wait to grab my phone each morning before heading to the bathroom to get caught up on the last Twitter trends while I evacuate my bowels.

I sat on the toilet playing with my phone so long this morning, my legs are just now waking up.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) January 2, 2016

I have to confess. If I've ever retweeted you, I was probably on the toilet at the time.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) February 8, 2015

During my lunch breaks at work, I head to my car to get back on Twitter.

If Twitter has taught me anything, it's that being off Twitter for a few hours to go to work will cost you followers. #constanttweeting

— Minor Character (@brettminor) December 2, 2015

As soon as I get off work, I'm back on Twitter.

I forgot my phone this morning, so when I was driving home after work I didn't know what to do with my hands.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) January 5, 2016

If you can't already tell, I am a little obsessed and I enjoy this obsession. I may be back in the blogging world now, but I have no intention of giving up Twitter. I'm getting to the point that I have an impressive number of followers and several of my tweets have gotten the attention of other websites. As someone who loves attention, I can't help but enjoy this.

I love the hashtag wars. I love participating in new joke formats. I love taking the days headlines and trying to find some humor in it. Plus, with all the negativity out there that is so easy to find, having this release is refreshing.

They say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" But that was before microwaves. I think revenge is best served warmed & poured over ice cream

— Minor Character (@brettminor) August 22, 2015

When we're trying to order a pizza and one guy keeps insisting on adding pineapple. pic.twitter.com/voKKedIPvd

— Minor Character (@brettminor) October 20, 2015

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy But here's my number Spelled out in Barbie heads on your front lawn

— Minor Character (@brettminor) August 8, 2014

I wish Indianapolis had a subway. I think it would be so much more fun to flash people on the subway than in front of Lucas Oil Stadium.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) January 7, 2016

The day I get so fat I can't see my penis will be the day I start adding vegetables to my nacho toppings.

— Minor Character (@brettminor) January 5, 2016

If you have a Twitter account consider giving me a follow. I can promise you won't learn anything from me, but I'll try to give you a laugh. I also retweet a lot of other funny people on my account.

Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.

— That Carly Girl (@thatcarlygirl) January 4, 2016

Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age.

— Erica (@SCbchbum) December 11, 2015

Customer: I'll have the veggie lovers breakfast, but add baco- Me: *hit customer on nose with rolled up newspaper* NO! BAD! GET OUT

— That Rascal, Puff (@ThatRascalPuff) January 8, 2016

I love Twitter if you can't tell.