Thursday, August 22, 2013

Am I Under Arrest?

Not quite as powerful as Walt's "Tread Lightly"
line last week, but it was good stuff.
If you are a fan of the show Breaking Bad, then you completely understand the title of this post. I have not been a fan of Skyler White ever since the very first episode, but she was awesome in this scene.

 Don't worry - there will be no spoilers here.

Anyone who watches the show knows that this is the final season and it has been intense.

Now, I am a huge fan of the show, but apparently my enthusiasm isn't anywhere near the intensity of the fans in Connecticut. Last Sunday, right before Breaking Bad was about to start, cable service was interrupted along the Connecticut coastline. The town of Franklin went particularly insane. The police station was inundated with phone calls. One lady called 911 and few households even called their senator to get their service restored. It got so bad that the police department issued a warning to the public on their Facebook page reminding them that a lack of television service does not constitute an emergency or concern the police in any way. Stop calling the station. It's not like this is HBO.

A few years ago, a Florida woman was arrested for calling 911 three times when her local McDonald's ran out of McNuggets. Her arrest was deserved, but it's not that surprising when an individual does something stupid. This thing in Connecticut involved a whole town. The whole town lost their freaking minds. What in the world is going through your mind to cause you to call your senator (Let me repeat that. They called their senator.) simply because you are worried you might miss a television show?

Oh! Look at those eyes!
I must have one of those drinks.
I love my TV, but I don't even call the cable company until it has been out for at least a couple of hours. This makes me suspect that there just isn't much going on in Franklin. To further prove my point, two days later, the neighboring town of Shelton (only 16 miles down the road) makes the news when a shop owner is injured while trying to stop the theft of two life-size cut outs of David Hasselhoff.

We may never know if the people there are huge fans of the Hoff or if this is just an extremely uneventful region of the East Coast, but I can definitely relate to having nothing to do. The town I live in is not exactly a bustling center of cultural activity. Despite having over 15,000 people, not a lot happens here. Check out this front page headline from one of the local papers last month.

All the news that fit to print.
Keep in mind, this is a front page story. FRONT PAGE! This is the July 13, 2013 edition of the Mt. Vernon Register News reporting on the possible new windows for the local National Guard armory. For those of you that don't remember what was happening a month ago, this was the same day that
  • Edward Snowden requested asylum from Russia. 
  • The George Zimmerman trial went to Jury. 
  • Janet Napolitano (Homeland Security Secretary) resigned.
  • The Asiana Airline crashed and a passenger was run over by a rescue truck.
  • Millions of dollars were donated to the families of Sandy Hook victims
 With all that was going on in the world, our paper decided to remind us that nothing was happening here.

Once again...FRONT PAGE!  
WINDOW REPLACEMENT CONSIDERED. 
It just doesn't get better than that.

I think I'm ready to graduate and move away.

22 comments:

  1. Anything to take your mind off the important issues. The world has gone mad. Mad I tell you.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. In your tiny corner of the world life moves on in its predestined path. People get upset at missing their favourite shows and the community rejoices when someones windows are replaced. What a lovely, gentle place to live. I can picture you all sitting on your porches in the fading light of the day, rocking and reading the comfortable news items in the paper, discussing the classifieds (puppies and kittens needing homes) tsking over the death notices (oh, but at 99 he had a long and wonderful life)...untouched by the horrors of trhe world. I'd like to live there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You paint a beautiful picture. I wish that were true.

      Delete
  3. I live in an even smaller town on the coast of Maine and this was one of our "big" stories this week: Bristol To Commemorate 200-Year-Old Battle.

    I'm glad I was never that obsessed with a show!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this show, but would have never considered calling the cops to fix my cable problem. Especially concerning a show about a meth cook.

      The town I am originally from was too small to even have a paper.

      Delete
  4. Not the most riveting headline I've seen!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I thought you had done something to get arrested and I was curious to figure out what kind of trouble you had gotten into this time. I think I'm just happy you avoided prison, but I feel bad for you. Your town sounds really boring. Maybe if you got arrested, it would make front page news!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have to make your own fun. I try to choose the type that keeps me out of a cell.

      Delete
  6. Does that guy in the picture also play Big Jim on Under the Dome? If I want real news, I usually watch PBS or BBC World News. American reporters don't know how to interview.

    I read the funnies and local sections in the paper at work.
    ...and steal the puzzles to do at home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the same guy. Good guy on Breaking Bad. Low life scumbag on Under the Dome.

      Delete
  7. Maybe this was a really important story and we're missing it. Was it a bullet and explosion proof window that turned into a portal that could instantly transport weapons to any part of town? No? Then I'm stumped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To my knowledge, they are normal windows. However, since I didn't actually read the article, I may have completely missed the point.

      Delete
  8. Yes yes. The window replacements were considered.. BUT DID THEY ACTUALLY HAPPEN?!? I need to know!!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Brett! I was at my friend's house once when their cable went out while we were watching a show. She flipped out! She ended up pounding on the bathroom door where her husband was showering and the wise man didn't say a word and he didn't come out. I was cracking up but I dared not let her see me laugh! TV is serious business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the wonder of DVR's and On Demand television. Plus, with the internet, there are almost endless opportunities to see it somewhere else, even if you couldn't catch it when it was first on.

      Delete
  10. Back when our first book came out, we contacted our local small town newspaper to see if they'd run a story on us. They never got back to us, and I kid you not, the very next issue, the front page headline was "SPAGHETTI DINNER AT SENIOR CENTER." This is the kind of news our cow town would like to glamorize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would think a book being published by a local author would get a little attention. I would love to be the guy who gets paid to decide what is or is not news.

      Delete
  11. Yep, people have their priorities placed is some very odd places. Bless their hearts. The world has gone mad.

    Have a terrific day. :)

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment. C'MON!!! You're already here. Leave a comment. Don't leave me hanging and wondering if any has ever seen these words. I'll rub your feet.