Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I Want Hard Facts

I think I need CANDY CRUSH rehab
I just finished another class last week and have a week off before I start another one next week. This means I have the time to breathe for another few days. This week, I have taken advantage of this freedom by watching television and playing Candy Crush Saga on my Android for hours on end.

I like the bright colors.

Today, after work, I was plopped in front of my television, enjoying some pizza rolls and sweet tea, but was mostly focused on my clever double Color Bomb combos. Despite my attention to the sugar coated music emanating from my phone, something said on the television caught my ear.

Please keep in mind, this will only be a loose paraphrase of what was said, since I wasn't really paying attention. It was just the last line that made me say, "WHAT?!?"

A commercial was playing for a men's sexual health clinic in St. Louis. The ad focused primarily on erectile dysfunction. It stated all the usual things these commercials always claim.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"It happens to every man at one point or another."

"It doesn't mean you aren't a man."

I didn't catch it all, but near the end it said something to the effect of this, "Maybe you have tried Viagra or Cialis and they weren't effective. Therefore, you may be skeptical about what we can do for you. To address your concerns, you can try our system in our office before paying a penny to see if it works."

This is the part where I looked up and said, "WHAT?!?"

Try it out in the office? What exactly does that mean? Had I been paying attention, I would have called their number just to get the answer to this question. I can see so many possible scenarios.

What exactly is the nature of their treatment and what does it mean to "try it out in the office"? If it involves another person to really try it out, do they provide the person or do you have to bring one from home?

Do they provide a private room after giving you the treatment or must the results be observed by a trained medical professional?

Do they lay you naked on a table, give you the treatment, and the medical staff stands around you with measuring tape to monitor and record the results?

Or is it more discreet? Maybe they give you a pill and stand you in a corner, so you can give a thumbs up to indicate when you are up.

I have so many questions. One day, I may be in need of these services and I just want to be prepared.

I also want to know if Obamacare will cover this.


16 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahahaha. Next time watch the whole commercial so we can all know what they do at that office.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

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    Replies
    1. I left the TV on that channel for the next hour, hoping it would come on again so I could catch the parts I missed. But it never came back on.

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  2. And if you end up with one of those 4 hour erections they're always warning you about, I wonder if you have to pay by the hour?

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    Replies
    1. That would be a good question to ask before getting started.

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  3. It does pay to be prepared and think ahead. After all, we all want to be the most popular guy in the nursing home.

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  4. I can't stop laughing and I'm also kind of in shock. I really didn't expect your post to turn out like that, especially when you made some really good points. I'm going to go sit down some place quiet and try to stop giggling now.

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    Replies
    1. you just have to wonder what is going on in the world sometimes.

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  5. I just thought about you yesterday and wondered when you would be back, and it was seriously less than an hour later that this popped up in my email...I curse ALL OF THE PEOPLE who kept saying Candy Crush Saga, I haven't been addicted to a stupid game like this since the original Mario Bros came out for Nintendo. I didn't know that this was a tv commercial as well, but they play it on the radio hereabouts where I live and I was so intrigued that I tried to get my guy to call and pretend he was interested to see what they said but the chicken wouldn't do it :(

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    Replies
    1. It must be happening all over then. And I'm happy to know that I am an someone's mind, even when I have not been around in a while.

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  6. I have never played Candy Crush and don't intend to ever do so...I definitely do not need another addiction.

    And even though I myself have never had erectile dysfunction and am fairly certain I never will, 'Im still quite interested as well, to know what the heck that treatment is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i agree. Stay far away from Candy Crush. It will suck away much of your life.

      Unfortunately, I still have not seen the commercial again to get the number.

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  7. I'm intrigued by the fad that is Candy Crush, but not internet addicted enough to even test it out.

    ...and if the system involves another person, it BETTER be me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAHAHAHA!!! You can't still say that about Candy Crush now.

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  8. Candy Crush almost ruined my life. Level 65 sent me directly to the madhouse. There was an intervention and everything.

    Don't let candy crush and lab simulated hard ones take over your life, man... You're better than that.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. It's almost two years later and I am still playing Candy Crush. I am currently on level 786.

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